Vendor Related - Haggling advice?

Why would you want to haggle with your vendors? If all you are shopping on is price, than find someone within that price range to begin with. Professionals charge what they do because they are professionals. They have spent countless years in the business - taking classes, getting degrees, learning everything there is to learn about their specialty. Would you bargin with your doctor, dentist, accountant, lawyer? Why treat these professionals any differently than your wedding professionals?

I haggled with the photographer and a little bit with the florist. Why wouldn't you! I looked at their packages as well as others, then I called them up.

With the photographer, I traded things in the package and asked for a few extra things for the price I wanted. He counter offered and we met in the middle.

Wtih the Florist, we told her what we wanted the budget to be under and the basic flowers we wanted. She found flowers that made us happy at our price range.

They are a service industry, unlike a doctor or dentist. But you can always discuss prices with almost any professional and coming to a compromise. Finding a middle group does not mean you are not treating these wedding people as professionals.

Brandy, you bet I would if I could! But I understand that's how you make your living.

Thanks Christine! That's helpful Personally, I think a lot of things are overcharged because they have the word "wedding" attached to it. I've heard countless people talk about how the hall they booked cost more simply because they were using it for a wedding and not a family reunion, as an example.

Christine, you actually echoed what Brandy said. You found vendors that adjusted the package to include what you needed or were within your budget. That is not "haggling" the price. That is more just offering less for the sake of getting a discount. You said a doctor or dentist isn't a service. I beg to differ. They may offer products, too (some dentists do, but not many drs.), but they are offering you a service, just as I do. I also offer products, and if anything, it is harder to give leeway on those, since I pay for them first. In the case of many of your vendors, they are both. Your floral designer will purchase and resell the florals, but is providing their expertise in the design and arrangement. Likewise with the cake. Even if it is only a product, do you go to the grocer and say I don't like what price you put on the steaks this week, how about I give you $1 off the price listed...deal? No, you either pay it, go without, or wait for the sale if it comes.

Wedding vendors ARE industries JUST like your doctor or dentist or grocery store or clothing store. And, just like you might tell your doctor/dentist that you have limited funds, and on budget, you can do so with your wedding vendor. That doesn't mean 'haggling' the price. In other words, if you want to spend less, you'll get less. You may opt for fewer tests from the doctor, and you may opt for fewer flowers from the florist. But, you're not asking/expecting for a particular test to cost less, or for the doctor/wedding vendor to get less for their pay. Just like doctor's fees (and grocery stores, etc.) vary with the quality of care, florist and photographers (etc.) costs vary with the quality of service/product.

Do you haggle with your doctor? hair stylist? At the gas station? With your grocery store? At the department store? Despite what bridal magazines say, 'haggling' is for flea markets and such, not for established wedding professionals.

@Missy, I think that is a common misconception. For instance, comparing wedding photography is not the same as comparing normal family photography. There is so much more involved in photographing a wedding. It is likewise for a dj. They do interact with you more, have special things to do for a couple at a wedding. The service changes. It is not something you notice unless you are on the vendor side; you just see the two price points without venturing further into the whys.

Brian, my photographer is charging me for her time and that's it. I get a disc of my photos and all rights to them. If I choose to print photos, I don't need to fork out an arm and a leg for them. She doesn't charge me for anything that's not necessary and I have seen her work so I know her style.

I understand it's how you make a living but personally, I don't want to pay more than I have to and I'm not the only one, so if it comes down to being able to haggle a price and package that I feel is reasonable, then yeah, I'm going to ask about ways on how to do it. It's nothing personal. It's business.

I'm really only looking for responses that answer my question, not go against it like Brian and Brandy's have. Your points are clear and I understand that asking for a vendor to be willing to haggle is probably offensive to them but I'm still looking for answers to my question. You're points are noted and acknowledged Thank you.

Let's think about why stuff with the word Wedding in front of it costs more. A Wedding Dress-is much more intricate, has more details, better fabric, hand sewn details etc. A Macy's dress-while nice, is probably not what most brides are looking for on their wedding day.

Wedding Photographs- Memories that literally will last a lifetime, a full day of shooting, many days of editing, Hours of study, practice, knowledge of lighting, etc. High school team photos- great for that year, but do you look at any of them on a regular basis?

Wedding Ceremony- Personalized joining of two people. Hours of getting to know you-writing the ceremony-will be with you also forever if you have a videographer. Ceremony at the court house- does the job, not something you want to watch over and over again.

Wedding Reception- Coordination of flowers, colors, guests, music, cake, food, decor etc. Super bowl party- fun with chips and dip

True professionals care about your wedding as much as you do.

I should say I don't want to pay for things that I'm not going to need or want.

I agree with the other vendors who've posted regarding this topic. If a vendor is willing to make adjustments and changes to the package, that's not haggling. That's coming to an agreement within your budget. There is a difference. To outright ask to haggle is like smacking that vendor in the face and saying you don't appreciate their quality of services and products. It's tacky. Professionals in this industry aren't out to get rich. That's not why we have our business'. Brian, like many others stated he might bring home about half after all his costs are covered. Depending on the service and or product, many of us don't even bring that much home. If you can't afford the best quality then I suggest you get the best you can afford for your budget. If you're really that set on getting huge discounts you could always hire an amature to do the job, but remember, you DO get what you pay for and you're going to have to live with that decision for the rest of your life.

People, seriously, back off. I'm starting to feel attacked and personally, not liking it. I don't need 50 comments saying the same thing. Refresh and read everything before you post please.

I think it depends on your definition of haggle. The other thing is that if you ask for something and the person can't/isn't willing to do it then they just simply say so.

And FYI, when I was growing up we had zero dental/vision insurance and our medical didn't pay a dime until we met a $4500 deductible. My eye doc gave my parents a $15 discount every checkup because my mom asked since they didn't have to file anything and collect $ from an insurance company. My parents got a small discount on my braces because they paid in cash in full upfront instead of doing the normal payment plan (because they asked). It doesn't mean that these people or wedding vendors are any less professional.

And on that half they bring home, they pay almost half in taxes, just like your paycheck. Nobody is getting rich here, except maybe David Tutera.

Christine, you've gotten my point, thank you. Vendors, it's probably not a great idea to attack a bride's comment on asking for advice on a wedding site where other brides look for services. There are gentler and better ways of making your point.

Sorry Missy, to answer your question: I would just schedule a consultation with the potential vendor. It kinda depends on what type of vendor, but explain what you want & ask them if they can adjust some of their packages to fit that. Explain that you don't want such and such and therefore don't want to pay for it.

As far as the refreshing bit, I do refresh after I read and before starting to type but I am a slow typer so often a lot is written during that time. Sorry!

I agree- it depends on the definition of haggling. I negotiated with my vendors. My photographers was great. I looked at his preset packages and wanted something different. We substituted things within the package, and he cut the price down to something we could both live with. I don't see it as haggling- but coming to an amicable agreement where he is fairly compensated for the work he will do, and I still get what I want.

I negotiated with my caterer as well. Part of her pricing included linens that I didn't like. So, I bought my own and she reduced my prices accordingly. She agreed to set them up for me though, since she would have been setting up her own. I also wanted her to take the leftovers to the lcoal firestation, and she agreed at no additional cost.

My 'florist' is from etsy. We negotitated a package deal because I was buying several listings. Just combining the shipping fees saved money, but she did give me a small discount because of multiple orders.

JH Treasure makes a very clear case. I agree with other vendors as well. "Personally, I think a lot of things are overcharged because they have the word "wedding" attached to it." This is a very common misconception. In my business ink and paper are ink and paper, regardless of whether I am printing for a business card, a wedding invitation, or a non-profit newsletter. Prices on printed goods are NOT negotiable. Adjusting your printed items to fit your budget is a completely sensible compromise.

Meghan, I think the word negotiate was more what I meant but haggle was what came to mind (ren festy here)

Christine, try getting one of them to do that these days; they won't. Just a few years back, we tried to use our dentist on a discount plan that we bought when my husband was self-employed and insurance was too expensive. The dentist would not even consider the plan and we had been with them for years then, as had my mom and sister and her family. He said he was a professional and had been in school for too many years. He wasn't a "plumber" taking discounts. I laughed at that, knowing he was cheaper than my plumber!

Missy, I am sorry if you feel that the vendors attacked you. We were not trying to do that, we were just trying to educate you on why this stuff costs so much. We also feel attacked when national magazines basically tell every bride that reads them that we charge too much.

I think everyone would agree with the fact that you should not pay for things that you don't want or need, who wants to do that? Us included! It may just have been the word "haggling" that got people upset. There are always ways of asking the vendor to take things out or substitute one thing for another, and many vendors are willing to do this. I apologize again for any misconception.