Vendor Rant (booking Things)

Sucks that this happened, but it's pretty standard. Money talks, unfortunately.
We specifically asked 2 of our vendors: "we are still deciding and will let you know by __ . Can you let us know if someone else inquires about the same date in the meantime". Both agreed they would give us a shout if someone tried to snag it first.

Realistically, though, if a couple shows up to a venue with cash in hand ready to pay that day- they aren't going to say no.
Some venues we spoke with had a specific NO HOLDS whatsoever policy, and they made that clear to us at the beginning.
They should have been more transparent with you about it.

As Anna said, unfortunately in the wedding business, money talks much louder than anything else. Most of our vendors did let us know that others had inquired about our date, or that October was their busiest month (which we knew). So we never waited more than a day or so to make decisions on certain vendors. I would just make sure that you and your fiance can make time to facetime/call in the evening to review stuff so this doesn't continue to happen to you guys. Good luck!

I get the frustration, but 5 months out from your wedding I would go ahead and assume that any vendors (especially photographers) have other potential clients. In a perfect world they would let you know, but things unfortunately don't work that way.

View Quoted Comment She didn't say anything regarding it.

I had said we are long distance.

In theory even if I wrote a check, if someone close to her wrote one same day I'd be out of my date. Which is why I explain the situation initially.

I know it's frustrating.. However..most vendors can't afford to wait to see if the person they talked to days ago is still interested. This is their livelihood. They have to take the first person who agrees to book with them. If they worked the way you would prefer them to..they could go out of business pretty quickly. If you really want someone to be your photographer, book with them that moment or be prepared for them to book with someone else.

The same goes for buying a house. If you like it..put in an offer or be prepared for someone else to beat you to it.

Correction, it was three days ago. So in the span of that she couldn't let me know when three days ago I explicitly said we'd like her.

Something that I learned is that you should be ready to place a deposit whenever you inquirer for this specific reason. Just as quickly as you inquired, someone else could’ve inquired right after your inquiry and was ready to place a deposit. I get it. It puts you in a bind but when it comes to weddings, dates book very fast. I didn’t reach out to any vendor until I was ready to place a deposit if I definitely liked what they were offering.

That sucks, I'm sorry.

When we were looking at venues (2+ years out, mind you), the first place we toured had an event coordinator that was very upfront with me and said she already had several inquiries for my date, but no proposals yet. We ended up going with a different venue, but I really appreciated the gesture.

As I booked more things, I would ask if I had time to consider, or was given a standard "hold" time upfront for my date to mull things over. For my makeup, I had 48 hours to decide. For flowers, I had two-ish weeks.

I'm not sure how other people approach vendor research, but I do most on my own and narrow options down to 1-2 choices, so I'm reaching out to very few people. From what I've heard, others send out 10+ inquiries per service.

That means that many companies or one-person businesses are bombarded with information requests daily, and they can't necessarily afford to wait, especially when a date is quickly approaching and they want to book out the most business. After all, when deciding, most couples don't send a "no thank you, I've decided not to go with you" email. They don't want to put themselves in a position where they have to get a refusal in order to move on to someone else.

It's funny, for a few vendors that I had trouble booking, I wondered if they were ignoring me because maybe my budget was lower than someone else's they were talking to. I have no way of confirming this, of course, but the thought did occur to me.

View Quoted Comment I feel like that is definitely a potential. We aren't a big wedding so the venue may have picked the weddings with the bigger guest estimates.

Same with the photographer, if they wanted a bigger package.

We don't have a mega budget either so now I'm basically in tears because everyone else is over double the cost of her and we don't have that kind of money since no one is assisting us, we're paying for it all.

Wow I guess I’ve been lucky. Our photographer gave us 5 days to hold the date. I believe they would let us know if someone else was interested but they said they’d hold. We did take the full 5 days to decide and were fine.

Another photographer who we found to be too expensive did follow up with me, saying she got a serious inquiry but we had asked first. Not sure if it was a sales technique but I politely declined.

Sorry you haven’t gotten the same

Do you all follow up with vendors you’ve contacted? I have been ... mostly. I feel like it’s a 2 way street but probably most vendors won’t because bride to bes probably don’t either.

View Quoted Comment It was only three days ago and now it's gone. I told her we were interested and she didn't send the contract so I asked this morning and now it's gone.

View Quoted Comment

I'm so sorry, I totally get the frustration. We're paying for everything ourselves too, and I'd be lying if I said I didn't have any breakdowns over it so far. It's hard.

The photographer I originally wanted was rather condescending. I reviewed their pricing sheet and saw a package under $3k (already more than I wanted to spend, but I was head over heels for this girl's photos), so I messaged for more info. Come to find out, if you want *her* photos, you have to pay like $5k+ -- the cheaper packages are for her assistants. She was also going to charge me an extra 10% because my date fell on a "holiday." (My date is 10/10/20, the Saturday before Columbus Day.) Needless to say, I moved on LOL.

I was really discouraged at that point, though. Then I ended up finding an absolutely wonderful photographer in my price range ($2400), so it all worked out for the best.

Do you have any local FB wedding groups that you could maybe post to, looking for a photographer? I'm part of an Ohio group where people are looking for vendors all the time, in all sorts of budget ranges, and couples seem to have a lot of success with it. I actually found my hair stylist this way!

I completely understand your frustration, but also agree with others that this is pretty standard. Until there is a signed contract and a deposit, nothing is confirmed. I get that you need time to make a decision, but keep in mind that vendors frequently hear from people inquiring about dates/asking for quotes and NEVER hear back from them. They are in business, so it makes sense they are going to accept a confirmed contract rather than wait on a maybe. Also, from their perspective, it also makes sense that they are likely to prefer a job that will create more revenue compared with a lower-cost job. With most of daughter's vendors, she asked them about their availability during her initial discussions. She was getting married "off-season" with almost 18 months lead-time, so most made her feel pretty comfortable that she had at least a few days to make a decision. There were a couple that she specifically asked if they could give her a "first-right-of-refusal," basically an opportunity to confirm her booking before the vendor gave the date to another client. Two of her vendors were awesome about that -- her DJ and photographer both let her know that they'd had inquiries about her date before she'd made a decision, and gave her a chance to submit her signed contract and deposit. However, she asked the same of a videographer, who said, sure, they would do that. A couple days later when she sent them an email to confirm she wanted to hire them, they said, "Sorry! They'd booked another event." She was annoyed and really disappointed, but she'd been looking at the least expensive option the vendor offered and assumed the other client was willing to book more. She decided that vendor just wasn't meant to be the right one for her and kept looking. Ultimately, less than a month before the wedding she found a great videographer option via Thumbtack for less than the videographer that reneged on her. Take a deep breath. Be disappointed, then go back to looking. Good luck!

Also, as pps have mentioned, with your date coming so quickly, I think there is more pressure/reason for you to just book, if they are available. Unfortunately, it seems like you might not have the luxury of doing thorough research before making decisions.

View Quoted Comment That’s seriously messed up!!

Unfortunately money does talk, and if a vendor is offered another bride and they want that date i can see how they can take it.
I only have 2 vendors that offered to hold my date for a few weeks untill i decided on them, signed the contract and sent the deposit. My hair stylist did hold the day and told me she would contact with me if anyone came forward asking about my date. I guess it all depends on what kind of vendors you work with

That does suck.
I saw that you will be getting married in the PA area & wanted to give you a heads up about a photographer - Simple Life Portraits. It’s a husband & wife team, who are amazing & super nice & their prices are affordable - they have a few packages, so I would speak directly w/ Dan about which package works best for you.
They did our wedding photography & we were very happy w/ them.
All the best!

When booking vendors you should always assume that there are others looking to book the same date. It’s first come first served. Unfortunately it’s not the vendors job to call everyone who’s seeking the same date and let them know that others are also interested.... because then the new rant would be that couples felt scammed and pressured to book.

I get this. On the upside at least you didn’t book them and then they cancel. I had this happen. Everything was booked and she backed out for a “vacation” I’m 99% certain it was due to a larger wedding inquiry because she was making an exception for my wedding. I will say I have come across some vendors who do give this courtesy. I had One contact me saying someone else was wanting my date and asking if I was Still interested. I suppose It depends on the person.

That really sucks! Typically with the vendors that I have interacted with, once you contact a vendor about a date and ask for a proposal/contract they usually hold the date until and for a little time after they send the proposal to give time to provide a deposit. 🤷🏻‍♀️