UPDATED (in comments): Upset with wedding video email draft to videographer... advice?

Will you update on what he responds with. I'm interested if he comes off shocked or apologetic. Maybe he has extra footage that he didn't include in the video that he can add in. I just wanna be positive for you. I'd be pissed all to hell but maybe just maybe he can fix it!

I really like cheval's version with the edits, and think Runawaybride's suggestion of pointing to a few example videos could be helpful!

You may not get a partial refund or even a kind response from the vendor, but I think it's really good that you are writing this to them. They should know that they under-delivered, and I definitely think you should leave vendor reviews as well.

As a couple you put a ton of faith in your vendors! We can use reviews and past examples of their work and ask questions to get the best insight possible into the quality of their service, but if the product they deliver you doesn't match up with their displayed work - that sucks.

@Sarizzle, yes I tried to be positive too. In our last email, though, he did confirm that he has NO shots of my face during that time in the ceremony. but I will definitely post an update with his response!

And @WWLynnie, we most definitely will be reviewing him! I'm going to wait until he responds to the email to post any reviews mostly because if he responds kindly he might get an extra star for that but if he responds rudely he will get the wrath of a scorned bride!

Personally, I would take the emotion out of the letter and get right down to the business end of it. You hired him to provide you a service of a well done video of your wedding, as he has displayed in his portfolio. He did not provide you with a quality service and you do not have a video of your entire ceremony now. Trust me, he didn't care enough about your emotions to do the job properly, he's not going to care about them now.

From a vendor's perspective, there are three issues that a client needs to hit in quick succession -- in this order: Your expectations (based on the work he displays to catch the eye of the potential client), your dissatisfaction, and a request for a meeting that will lead to a mutually acceptable resolution. That, I assume, is your goal, so don't lose sight of it.

While emotion is certainly to be expected -- after all, this was your wedding day -- what you are now addressing is a business transaction, and ultimately, what you want to do is renegotiate, and that might be hard if there is no contractual obligation between the two of you that proves that you didn't get what you paid for. So, your best bet is to be as direct and serious as possible -- not emotional (because he already knows you're emotional about this). All of us who work in the wedding industry know what we're taking on, regardless of our specialty, when we sign a contract with a bride. You also don't want to come across as a couple who are looking to recoup money because they either overspent or didn't receive the cash gifts they thought they were going to receive (and I'm certainly not saying that's the case here, but, sad to say, it happens).

You paid for a service, and you do not believe you received what you paid for. Fair enough. He gets his say, just as you do, but please, don't mitigate for him -- don't say "maybe it was this, maybe it was that" -- you're walking in as the video virgin, so the speak, so just address him as the professional he is (and pros do makes mistakes -- not intentionally, NEVER intentionally, but because we're human beings. If and when it happens, things should be made right so that both parties are satisfied). If the dispute is legitimate, and I'm only going by what you wrote (without seeing the video), the pro has to revisit the issue with the client.

I'd write something like this:

Dear Videographer:

On January 7, 2017, the culmination of our dreams, our work, our financial sacrifices, our expended funds, and our security in our vendors was, to a large degree, what made it possible for me to walk, calmly and expectantly, into my role as a bride. On my wedding day, the confidence I had in my vendors, professionals we had carefully chosen, based on their superior artistry and professionalism, allowed me to begin the day believing that we'd put the perfect team in place. I had hoped to write stellar reviews for each of our vendors, and unfortunately, I now find myself, just shy of four months after our wedding, writing an email quite to the contrary. I sincerely wish that this wasn't necessary. However, it is.

We decided to hire a videographer after great thought, discussion, and consideration. Believe me, It was no minor decision for us to budget for the services of an artist who could produce such an "in the moment" and timeless reflection of our wedding ceremony. The only thing, we reasoned, that could come close to the emotional impact of our actual ceremony, would be a permanent visual that we could enjoy, multiple times in the weeks immediately following our wedding, at each subsequent anniversary, or on any random Tuesday evening.

My husband and I selected you based on the exemplary work that you've done for couples just like us. There was something we saw in your work; something that set you apart from your competitors. The quality of your previous videos is excellent, and without even knowing the couples in those videos, we found your ability to capture the faces and words expressed by each couple -- especially while exchanging vows -- to be superior. And that, Mr. Whomever, is why we contacted you, met with you, contracted with you, and paid you. We wanted our own version of the weddings you had already recorded.

I regret to say that we are very disappointed in our wedding video. In fact, we feel as though you missed the highlights we were expecting to see. I'm not a professional videographer, so I'm not going to suggest potential issues that came into play. That wasn't my responsibility -- it was yours. What I do know is that it is a finished product issue, and I have no choice but to return to the source with my questions and concerns.

Our biggest disappointment is that you did not secure a facial recording of me while I was exchanging vows, something that will never happen again, with my husband. I could write sentence after sentence describing my specific disappointments, but as I am someone who also works in the wedding industry, I think you have an excellent grasp of that to which I refer.

I am not going to lecture you about what you missed, or what cannot be recovered or recreated. You market your business to brides/couples who are expecting exactly what my husband and I were expecting, and that's why I can say, with confidence, that we are anticipating a mutually acceptable resolution.

We would very much like an opportunity to meet with you, as soon as possible, to discuss this matter, in detail. We have every confidence that you, a professional, will do everything in your power to accommodate us. If we can meet at your studio, we could, together, review the footage with you, and that, we believe is the best place to start the next phase of our professional relationship -- and one we wish had ended in a five star review.

Please contact me at ______________________, and my husband and I will clear our schedules to accommodate your schedule.

Sincerely.

ETA: A little fine tuning and spelling.

It's great and thoughtful feedback....but missing any call to action or hopeful business resolution. What do you seek from this? Partial refund? Company credit?

@rachel i want to be like you some day. Always professional and eloquent, always classy and honest

Oh, that was sweet of you to say, Vicki...I needed that tonight, lol.

@rachel, perhaps I should've said this sooner, but I SO ADMIRE your patience and classy attitude. I've learned a lot from you and your posts. I hope you know, myself along with WW, very much value you. I hope everything works out positively, but please know I'm always here to listen. <3

@Rachel you are TOP NOTCH! Phrased and worded perfectly!

I am so sorry you are experiencing this, I remember reading about this on your original post. As pp said, leave reviews. Let other people know what your experience was, and how he handled your reaction to his product

Oh, you're a sweetheart, Vicki. Thank you so much. I know I can beat a dead horse on some of the hosting issues that are raised (eight times a week, lol), but I only do that because I want each bride and groom to have a wedding that leaves their guests saying, "Oh..really? It's over? What a fantastic wedding."

So I finally heard back from the videographer, and thank goodness he responded favorably. He was very apologetic and even offered us a partial refund (1/3 of what we paid). I'm obviously still super bummed about the video but at least he was very kind about it. I've posted his response below.

"I want to start off by apologizing profusely, for not meeting the standards you and [husband] were expecting. When it comes to my work I usually do my absolute best to meet the standards of my couples and to know that you are not satisfied with the end result is not a good feeling. I understand that you were expecting more, and I am truly sorry for letting you down.

I know that nothing I can do will make up for missing your angle of the vows, but as a way of telling you that I am truly sorry for letting you and [husband] down I can offer you a partial refund of $[1/3 of price]. You will also still receive the additional 5 DVD's, and full-length edit of your wedding videos.

Once again I understand that in the end nothing will make up for not meeting you, and [husband's] expectations, for that I am sorry. If you still would like to speak in person we could set up a time to speak on the week of June 5th as this week I will be mostly unavailable due to traveling. I look forward to hearing from you, and resolving this matter. Thank you. "

Now my question is... what kind of review should I leave? Obviously he's not going to get a 5-star but I think, because of his response, he should get more than 1-star. What would you do?

So I finally heard back from the videographer, and thank goodness he responded favorably. He was very apologetic and even offered us a partial refund (1/3 of what we paid). I'm obviously still super bummed about the video but at least he was very kind about it. I've posted his response below.

"I want to start off by apologizing profusely, for not meeting the standards you and [husband] were expecting. When it comes to my work I usually do my absolute best to meet the standards of my couples and to know that you are not satisfied with the end result is not a good feeling. I understand that you were expecting more, and I am truly sorry for letting you down.

I know that nothing I can do will make up for missing your angle of the vows, but as a way of telling you that I am truly sorry for letting you and [husband] down I can offer you a partial refund of $[1/3 of price]. You will also still receive the additional 5 DVD's, and full-length edit of your wedding videos.

Once again I understand that in the end nothing will make up for not meeting you, and [husband's] expectations, for that I am sorry. If you still would like to speak in person we could set up a time to speak on the week of June 5th as this week I will be mostly unavailable due to traveling. I look forward to hearing from you, and resolving this matter. Thank you. "

Now my question is... what kind of review should I leave? Obviously he's not going to get a 5-star but I think, because of his response, he should get more than 1-star. What would you do?

Also, how do I word the response saying we would like the partial refund without sounding rude? How do I respond to this email??