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Just Said Yes December 2021

*Update to Bridesmaid who ruined Bach Party*

Nicole, on November 9, 2021 at 9:25 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 7
In my original post, I asked advice on how to tell a bridesmaid you'd like for her to step down. Long story short if you missed it, one of my bridesmaids ruined my bachelorette party. She let her drinking get out of control and she touched my MOH innappropriately by shoving her hand in her shirt to adjust her br**st, made a friend uncomfortable by suggesting to make out with her if she took a shot with her, yelled at my other MOH to shut up, made several scenes, and took off to the beach at 2 in the morning while drunk. My two MOH'S had to go after her and had to stay with her because she refused to come back to the air Bnb. I talked to her and tried to see if anything was happening in her life to cause the behavior. She said everuiwas fine, however, she wasn't very apologetic, deflected, and came up with excuses. She then said she'd speak to everyone individually to apologize, but it took over two weeks to reach out, but only after I did a follow up. Her apologies were scripted word for word to all of them and it was very insincere. I feel I've given her plenty of chances to be genuine in making things right, but now that I know she really isn't that sorry about ruining my party or making my friends uncomfortable, I'm now more worried of what she'll do at my wedding. We've been friends since HS but aren't super close anymore and I can 100% feel the tension between us. Half of me wants to bite the bullet and keep her for the sake of keeping the peace until after the wedding since we're about a month away, but the other half of me wants to cut ties now for the sake of our wedding day going smoothly. I will reimburse her for her dress if I remove her from the party, before anyone asks. I'm torn on what to do.

7 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on November 9, 2021 at 3:12 PM
  • N
    Just Said Yes December 2021
    Nicole ·
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    I'm sorry for any spelling errors!!!
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Rather than focusing on whether or not to have her in the wedding, I think you should focus on whether or not you would like to continue this friendship. You said you have been close for many years, but have been drifting apart recently. Would you like to repair the friendship and become closer in the future? Or do you think this friendship has run its course, and you are ready to part ways with this individual? If you think the time has come to let this friendship go, then I would have an open and honest conversation with her about it, and remove her from your wedding party (and reimburse her for all expenses relating to your wedding).


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  • N
    Just Said Yes December 2021
    Nicole ·
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    I don't think I want to continue the friendship with her. I don't have the energy to burn for someone like this.
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  • Cece
    Rockstar October 2023
    Cece ·
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    Completely understandable. In that case, I think you have your answer!
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  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah Online ·
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    I think you've answered your own question. Removing someone from the bridal party is a friendship ending move. Since you would like the end of the friendship, there is no need to have that toxicity at your wedding.
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  • Melinda
    Expert March 2022
    Melinda ·
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    If you want to end the friendship and remove her it needs to happen ASAP. Also you should reimburse her for your dress if she purchased it.

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  • Heather
    Super November 2021
    Heather ·
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    Nicole,
    I was wondering what had happened! But you pretty much answered your own question by stating that you no longer want to continue this friendship.. If you truly feel that way then you need to talk to her asap letting her know that she is no longer a bridesmaid. Just be cautious and warned of what may happen when you do tell her. So just be prepared for her to yell, be angry, or hate you if it comes to that.. If she acts that way just let her be. You need your peace and your special day is coming and that is what you need to focus 100% on. Not someone that you need to constantly keep worrying about. And in case she does this again by acting out inappropriately at your wedding you need to designate someone or a few people to handle it. Maybe a groomsman and a bridesmaid? If they are comfortable with it of course! Also, I'm not sure if you will have security, but if you do then at least you have him/her to escort her out if need be. Good luck!

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