UPDATE: Indian wedding attire

I found this: http://thebigfatindianwedding.com/2011/what-to-wear-at-an-indian-wedding

I haven't been to an indian wedding myself, but have seen pics from friends who have gone. They mainly just wore something bright, colorful, and joyous.

Honestly- unless you're very good friends with someone who can dress you- I would dress as you normally would for a wedding.

cultural appropriation and all that being such an issue- it's lovely to want to "blend in" but at the risk of potentially offending someone- wear something YOU would wear.

@Jo, that's what I originally thought. too. I didn't want to look out of place by wearing or NOT wearing something. But then the groom basically told me that I should dress to blend in. Now I am torn...

I agree with JoRocka. Unless you are aware of the types and meanings of traditional clothing, I think it would be best to dress in something you would typically wear. I have myself attended an Indian wedding, although many were in Indian attire and I did not at all feel out of place wearing an american outfit and was fully accepted.

ETA: It seems like he was giving you a heads up regarding what to expect when you arrived as opposed to telling you to wear Indian attire. If he genuinely wanted you to "blend in" I think he likely would have given you more guidance as to what Indian outfits would appropriate for a wedding.

I agree with JoRocka I would be very careful dressing yourself in another cultures attire as someone may feel that you're mocking them. I would talk with your friend the groom about your attire, if you should dress in Indian attire, and if so where or what you should get.

Would love to see pictures with what you end up wearing!

I went to an Ethiopian wedding and wore a nice, conservative dress. Sure, you can wear a sari - they are amazing - but only if you want to.

I don't know what the pant suits are called but they are VERY comfortable!! I worked with a woman who was from India and she was very supportive of my interest and did not take offense that I wanted to try the clothing. I wasn't trying to "appropriate" the culture, but damn- the clothes are beautiful and comfortable!

I've been to one and it will be so much fun!! I can take a picture. I wore a long skirt

I've been to one and it will be so much fun!! I can take a picture. I wore a long skirt

Thank you all for the feedback- I will talk to him this weekend before I attempt any shopping & see what he suggests. I definitely don't want to offend anybody!

Keep us posted!

I understand hesitation with cultural appropriation but given that the groom gave you the go ahead AND I don't see how any other guests would assume you're mocking them by wearing a more traditional outfit in that context, I say go for it. ETA: It's not like you're going to Forever 21 and buying a saree-print shirt or some random bindi made in a sweatshop, you said you'd go to an Indian clothing shop. I guess I don't see how it has the exploitative factor of cultural appropriation.

The groom or his family may be able to help you pick something out if you need some guidance. I bought a saree for a formal holiday party hosted by a couple from India. They made some helpful suggestions, but ultimately going to a good shop was the best for picking an outfit. If you are in a large city, there will be several places you can visit in person. If you are in Houston by any chance, there are a ton of places off of Hillcroft.

Eta: Indian attire was requested of all guests at the party.

The "pant suits" you are referring to are called "salwar kameez". There are some variations on spelling but that's how I've mostly seen it spelled. (I live where there are many Indian people, including one of my best friends.) I feel for your struggle. It's hard to decide if you'd stick out or offend more either way. I'd advise against a sari though, they are hard to get into by yourself even with a lifetime of practice and unless someone is dressing you that knows what they are doing you're going to have difficulty. If I were going to her wedding here I'd probably wear a dress though. However if she get's married in India I may wear Indian attire. When in Rome...

This is an example of Indian attire. The leggings underneath are quite uncomfortable if you're not used to them.

This is what I wore for my best friend's wedding Nikah

I've worn regular wedding wear to Indian weddings. For the Mehndi party, I wore a salwar kameez. Ask your friends what you should wear, I did.

I wore a sari for my son and dil's Hindu ceremony. It was fun but I had a hard time keeping it on right (tucked in and such).

It sounds like he is inviting you to wear Indian attire so I wouldn't consider it cultural appropriation.

Thanks everyone. He definitely encouraged us to wear a sari, gave us a website and that was it. And then I was told about the salwar kameez (now I know, thanks!) and that they are appropriate for weddings as well. I am going to an Indian shop (I'm in Boston) and I will call him before I go just to make sure!

I will post an update when I decide what to wear!