Meaghan
Beginner November 2020

Unsure where to start....

Meaghan, on May 18, 2019 at 7:12 PM Posted in Planning 0 11
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So my fiancé and I are looking at dates still but so far we have about 100 people we are inviting. Issue is that one of my fiancé’s grandmas is very sick(liver cancer among other issues, doctors basically told her she’s declining and there’s nothing they can do.) and we want to try and have the wedding before she passes. Is it bad to think about getting a loan so I can have the nice wedding I want as well as have it easy for her to get to the location and such? Cameron(fiancé) said his parents might help us with the money but I feel terrible asking my family for help because my dad is having issues with his job...we already have issues with having enough money to get through the months with bills and such. I’m just at a loss as what to do

11 Comments

  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra Online ·
    Could you possibly have a small family only ceremony to ensure grandma can be present then have the reception later?
    I wouldnt necessarily go into debt for a wedding, but ultimately it's your choice.
  • Tara
    Master May 2020
    Tara ·
    I would not recommend getting a loan for a wedding. Consider having a courthouse wedding or a microwedding with parents, siblings and grandparents only.
  • Yasmine
    Dedicated November 2019
    Yasmine ·
    Agree with PP. Have a tiny wedding and then in the future when you have the money for what you want, have a celebration of marriage.
  • Meaghan
    Beginner November 2020
    Meaghan ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Just family was about 90 something people. He has a Big family(mom and dad separated and got remarried etc so double family.) and alot will get seriously butt hurt about not being invited etc hence it being an issue with money.
  • Meaghan
    Beginner November 2020
    Meaghan ·
    View Quoted Comment
    I wouldn’t mind getting our marriage official in the court house and just waiting for the actual wedding because then we could save a lot and have a dream wedding an such but he’s not really fond of that idea and issue being that grandmas health:/ we aren’t sure how long she has
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
    Don’t get a loan. I would have a Small intimate wedding now then save up a year or two and have a huge anniversary vow renewal thing. Like others suggested
  • Courtney
    Beginner May 2020
    Courtney ·

    I am in a similar situation, but I won't be taking out a loan. We are having a destination wedding with 60+ guests (and counting). However, my fiance's grandmother is too ill to travel and has been in and out of the hospital a lot lately. Although, we would love to get married on our desired wedding date, having his grandmother there is more important to us. We are spending enough on our destination wedding as it is so we will be having a VERY small wedding with only our very closest family members (i.e. parents, siblings, grandparent) and the person who helped me pull this together in a gorgeous but small chapel with no more than 8 people there (both sets of parents, the coworker who helped me secure the venue at a discounted price - she is a good friend of the manager, his grandmother, and his brother/best man and my maid of honor). Thank goodness the chapel is beautiful on its own because we won't be having any decorations just a unity candle, no flowers except for my bouquet, no elaborate dress, nada. Everything included it will cost less than $1000 including admin fees (marriage license etc.) , cute shorter church appropriate white dress, and officiant for the first ceremony. Everything will be nice but also informal and inexpensive. After that we'll have a larger symbolic ceremony with all the bells and whistles on our date as planned.

  • Krista
    Savvy April 2020
    Krista ·
    It can go either way despite all the planning and changes you make to accommodate everything. My grandmas funeral was the day before my sisters wedding. She couldn’t have done anything about it. I’d probably try to spend as much time with her if possible and maybe try to include her in it? Sorry
  • D
    Super July 2020
    D ·
    I'm so sorry to hear she is sick. Honestly I'm not sure how much planning you can do before grandma will be too ill to go out anymore.
    Have you considered having a non-legal ceremony for grandma and then the other wedding at another date. We had friends who did this for his mother.
  • Meaghan
    Beginner November 2020
    Meaghan ·
    View Quoted Comment
    Yeah I talked with my fiancé and looks like we are gonna have a mini wedding where it’s official so she can see us get married and have our actual ‘wedding’(that we want) later.
  • Sinéad
    WeddingWire Administrator January 2025
    Sinéad ·

    Hey Meaghan!! Have you made any exciting wedding decisions lately?

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