Unsure of who to tip

Tipping is nice, but it’s not a mandated necessity. Depending on how everyone performs at your wedding, decide AFTER who you want to tip and how much. Family or close friends may tell you later after the wedding something that a vendor did that you didn’t notice.


I’m appalled that THEY are the ones telling you HOW MUCH they expect. Give however much you are comfortable giving and don’t feel like you have to blow your budget out of the water doing it.

Only tip vendors who have gone above and beyond the call of duty. Do not tip on the day of the wedding and do not tip every single vendor as the wedding websites tell you that you must do. Wait at least a week after the wedding when you have an objective mindset and can assess how the vendors performed. Do not anyone who is a no show (either didn’t show up or they didn’t give the product they promised) or has bad service or just shows up and doesn’t do anything special. Wedding websites pressure you to tip anyone and everyone and get upset at the idea of being selective. There are many posts recently where vendors didn’t fulfill their end of the contract and they were tipped the day of the wedding because that is what couples are told to do no matter what.


Figure out who went above and beyond the call of duty and tip them only. No one else. Owning their own business is irrelevant if you feel they deserve the extra payment for stellar service. You can send the tips via Venmo or whichever method you paid them for their services.

How unfortunate the venue chooses not to pay their staff an appropriate wage (the root of the history of tipping). I'd check contracts to see if gratuity is already included (which is not service charge). Decide after the wedding. If you did haggle down for certain rates, then the costs may not have been sufficient to host your event, and staff will be jipped. While this was their choice, I doubt they will retain good workers with this setup.

I echo what was said above - do not tip day of. Wait, see how the day goes, and then decide, on your own, who to tip and how much. You're already paying for their services, and tipping is an extra thank you, not a mandated fee. If your venue doesn't adequately pay their staff - that's not on you to cover. Especially if their staff isn't up to par.

If your coordinator continues to have poor communication and you don't feel they have done their job to an acceptable degree - don't tip. And certainly don't tip whatever the venue is trying to tell you to tip.

Our venue, which provides catering (including cake) but no other services, has a gratuity rolled into the price. So I do not plan on tipping out wait staff as THAT is what that is. My DJ, Photographer, and Hair and Make up team are the only ones I'm looking at possibly tipping (my mom is our florist, so moot point). My H&MU team, I've had my trial with and they are the best people, so I plan on tipping them. The DJ and Photographer are both business owners so while its not necessary, we might if we feel the day goes off really well. But that's an after the fact situation.