Hello everyone. I just got a call from my toxic, abusive mother who asked what I was up to.
She has been abusive, mentally, emotionally, and physically like my dad was to me growing up.
I have talked it over to my fiance and he said it's my decision to invite my parents or not. I have people on my side that I am inviting that are extended family that I get along great with but because my parents were abusive to me only when friends and extended family were not around, my extended family doesn't believe me.
I am getting married next Sept and paying my wedding photographer next weekend. I have avoided all and any wedding talk with my parents. When I signed my contract with my wedding planner last December my dad at first agreed to walk me down the aisle. Then he turned around and said don't post anything about the wedding , tell our extended family anything. Basically he called it his family and don't say a word to anyone until right before the wedding. He was then telling me, for years, that people would email them that I was spreading lies about them abusing me that damaged me for years.
They are the most negative, controlling, nastiest people in the world, they were both abused growing up and see they have no issues. After that I barely tell them anything. A few times the last few months they try to ask me wedding stuff but always with a nasty, bad mouthing and negative attitude. They will talk crap about my fiance and me but when he's around they can't say of this and be nasty to his face.
Me and most of my in laws love me they are the family I never had. I love my future mom in law to pieces shes the mom I never had. I am going wedding dress shopping this sept on the 28th and I feel like I will be ok with not saying a word to my mom. I invited my mother in law, grandmother in law, bridesmaid, maid of honor and my planner. all of them have said they will not tell my parents a word. I doing my engagement shoot this fall in October and I am scared if my photographer posts it on Facebook my cousin my dads niece will see and tell my parents since she's friends with my mom on fb and then my mom will make me feel terrible about it.
I have yet to tell my cousin privately to keep this to herself i told her of a small part of the abuse when i was young and basically she sat there silent and said how wrong it was of my dad to do x and x thing but i dont know what to do or even to invite my parents to my wedding me and my fiance are paying all for ourselves. The decision kills me since we will have dress shopping for me in Sept, and engagement shoot in October.
Any brides going through something like this? i feel if i don't invite my parents half of my side of guests won't come because they believe my parents are good people.
