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Jessica
Beginner May 2022

Unsupportive mother

Jessica, on April 27, 2021 at 6:59 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5

Basically my mom is Bipolar and she's not on medication for it so we never really know what were going to get. When me and my mans first moved in together she was 100% again it. Said I was making a mistake. After living together for a while she changed her tune and loved him. Takes about how amazing he was and how much of a GOOD MAN he was. Now that were getting married she tells me that I shouldn't marry him, he will end up hurting me. She thinks i'll en dup divorced and then ill find the right man for me. I told her she needs to get on board or she's not coming to the wedding. She said okay, she understood and she was on board and super excited to talk wedding details.


Now I hear that she is going around telling everyone she knows including all my family members that she doesn't want me to marry him and that its gonna end up awful.


He is the sweetest, kindest man I have ever met. I am so happy to have found him. I want my mom at my wedding but I can't have her telling people those things about the man Im going to marry???

5 Comments

Latest activity by Ka-Rina, on April 27, 2021 at 10:30 PM
  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    While her diagnosis isn’t an excuse for her behavior, especially if she isn’t doing anything about it, you can’t expect someone with a mental illness to behave as if they are of sound mind. Would it be great if your mom could be supportive? Of course. Is that likely going to happen? No one can know because her illness makes her potentially unstable, especially without medication. I think it’s going to be important for you to set boundaries with your mom and that may have to include not inviting her to your wedding.
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  • Heather
    Super November 2021
    Heather ·
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    I'm so sorry you are going through this Smiley sad
    I am not one to take that lightly. If that happened to me I would take action and tell her to stop spreading rumors and to stop telling them her opinion. You know him best, and you know deep down in your heart that he would never hurt you.
    You mentioned that she is bipolar. Do other family members happen to know of her condition? If they do, they may take into consideration of just brushing off what she told them. If they don't know, then they just may believe her. My family LOVES gossip.. It's just how my culture is and it's sometimes toxic. That's why I only share certain things with my parents, aunts, uncles, etc.
    But if it really is bothering you then you need to stand your ground and talk to her.

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  • Jessica
    Beginner May 2022
    Jessica ·
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    My other family members do know. I know they all don't really believe her when she says those bad things. I guess Its just hard for me to have her at the happiest day of my life knowing she doesn't support me.

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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    You can’t convince her because she is not basing these things in reality.
    If the people she is talking to know her, they already know her history and won’t believe her. If they don’t know her well, they will learn. I say this as someone with bipolar disorder - I am not judging her. But if she is not managing her disorder, she is an unreliable narrator and anyone who knows her is aware. Learn some key phrases if anyone relays her words to you “that’s not true. I don’t want to discuss my mother’s lies.” “I am happy and loved, please don’t tell me things she says.”

    I am so sorry she is doing this. As time goes on, you will have stronger and stronger boundaries, but it’s so hard right now, my heart hurts for you.
    You deserve a happy, safe, peaceful life, and to enjoy your engagement and wedding.
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  • K
    Expert September 2021
    Ka-Rina ·
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    Knowing your moms diagnosis - it’s on u to react or not react to it...
    it might sound harsh but my mother just told me she thinks us having a vow renewal party after 7 years is moronic (we didn’t have a party when we got married and we have invested in our lives since we got married (house kids u name it) and now that we are ready to have a celebration she said it’s dumb and she doesn’t care
    Well.,. Thank u for making it easy for me to not invite u
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