Unsupportive Inlaws

I'm sorry to hear that his parents aren't being supportive. Do they have specific reasons on why they think you shouldn't get engaged yet?

Without knowing why they aren't supportive it's difficult to really give advice. You did mention that you've only been together for a year. Are they concerned your relationship is moving too quickly? Is there something else causing them to voice concerns?

Your fiancé needs to set some boundaries with his parents. This is not a choice that needs to be discussed with them in an "emergency meeting" under normal circumstances. Is he being financially supported by his family?

View Quoted Comment No not at all he has a job working at a window factory making **** bi weekly! They have supported him through his student loan debts and everything other than that he lives on his own and pays his own rent and bills. He’s still seeking for a job in videography with his bachelors degree but hasn’t been successful so we are hoping for something to turn around for him soon. He also still has a good 1500 in student loan debt but he think he can get that all paid off next year! I have confidence in our relationship and his decision and choice but his parents are angry at him for making such a foolish decision when he’s not even stable yet…. But not anyone is financially stable before engagement. It’s like they want him to be rich or something before he had proposed but now that he has their angry about it. As his fiancé I’m worried about the conversation that will happen Saturday so I’m heading to my local church for some serious prayer cause them wanting to meet with him and tell him he’s failed in ways over this decision is heartbreaking for us as the engagement is supposed to be celebrated not feeling depressed.

I think your fiance needs to lay down a firm boundary here. If you’re not eloping tomorrow, there’s definitely no need for any kind of emergency meeting, and it’s not their decision regardless.


Mom & Dad, I love you, but this is not your decision and we’re not going to have any kind of meeting for you to weigh in. I’m not coming to your meeting, and if you start bringing this up at other times, I’m leaving. I hope in time you’ll come to accept and respect my decision.

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Yeah it sounds like he just needs to set a boundary here. This doesn't need to be discussed with his parents and if he is not able to stand up to them, this is going to be an indicator of how the rest of ya'll's lives are going to go. I agree with Andrea's statement above "We're not attending your emergency meeting and if you bring it up again in our company we are leaving"

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It sounds like your fiancé needs to establish boundaries asap otherwise they are going to continue to think they can rule your lives. The way he handles this situation will tell you a lot about how he will hand other conflicts like such has where you live, if or how many children you have, how children should be raised, etc.

It is not the best going into a marriage where the parents are not agreeing to it. That is not to say that no situations exist where you just have to break off from family. But generally you want to have the family to be supportive, especially in difficult times.

If you can predict the dynamics the meeting will follow, it may be good to meet with the parents more in a public place where it is easier to leave if they are not rational in what they share.

Some parents have an "old" phobia about lo g engagements...... but either way you guys should be supported. Sorry to hear of the issue.
Advice...... move on as planned. They will eventually come around when it's time once they realize that your relationship is serious and more importantly......strong.
Folks sometimes have to be shown that they're being foolish in their actions 🎬.

Follow your heart nothing else matters.. rule of thumb never include relatives in your relationship I don’t care how close y’all are.. politely tell them it your & his choice.. I wish y’all the best of luck ❤️

I'm so sorry you are dealing with those kids of people! Your should be feeling over the moon about your engagement. You don't need that extra stress. I hope your fiance told them off on Saturday.