Unsupportive Family

Ss?

ETA: Nvmd...I learn something new each day

I think it is fair to distance yourself. You and your FW should be respected by your family. You said you wrote a letter, for who? Your mom? I would suggest going over by yourself to have a talk with your mom. You said you were close at one point. Your mom needs to know how much their behavior is hurting you two. I'm sorry you and your FW are going through this. I hope things get better for you.

I am assuming ss means same sex.

OP, I don't have any advice but, I send you support. Just know that you have strength and only have the ability to control how you react, not what people do to you.

I'm sorry OP it breaks my heart to hear things like this.

I fully think you are right to distance yourself from them, as painful as it might be. I'm not in the same situation per se, but my dad is also refusing to come to my wedding (not because of my relationship, but because of his with my mom). I truly think that is relationship ruining not to attend your child's wedding, and why they would have any expectation of a future relationship with you I do not know.

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I think that those who support you is who you should keep around. Those who don't, forget about. Hopefully that will make them wake up and get over their ignorance. I would give the letter and not think again about it. It's up to her if she wants to be a part of your guys' life, not yours if you want to try and force her.

Good luck! and congratulations with being so close to your special day! So exciting!

It's awful to hear that your family is acting this way - I have not been in such a situation, but I wouldn't blame you at all for distancing yourself from them. They aren't being fair to you at all. I'm so sorry you have to deal with this - your wedding will still be amazing and you'll be surrounded by people who love and support your marriage, which is just as sacred and real as anyone else's. My thoughts are with you - I hope your parents can learn to come around.

Sorry I have no experience with what you're dealing with. Sympathies though and I hope you manage to resolve. Best of luck.

Sorry! Yes same sex.

@Mrs Richmond- Date twin! Heyyyy. Sorry to hear about your dad. I am just in the mindset these days that FW and my boys are my family. Anybody that can't accept that can't be apart of it

Thanks Felicia and Kate. I'm definitely giving her the letter. I put a lot of time and tears into making sure all of my thoughts were lined up correctly

I'm soooo sorry to hear this. We went through a bit of this on my husbands side. Basically not supportive, did not want to attend and even his siblings were not supportive.

In the end, they all attended but his parents only showed up after the ceremony and pretty sure his mom was miserable all night, crying and just disengaged from it all.

Long term, it will hurt but at the end of the day, you are with whom you love the most and loves you the most as well.

As for your younger's sister's graduation, I don't see why your parents decide who is invited. You choose to go so long as your sister wants you there.

This may be hard but I think you owe it to your FW-and she, to you- to remove those toxic people from your lives on both ends. I am very sorry you are going through this

Wow, families suck sometimes! Tell them that it's 2017 not 1917, they need to get over their hangups. Love is love, be it between a man & a woman, 2 woman, 2 men, or 2 who are trying to figure out their identity.

I wouldn't blame you one bit if you distanced yourself! If the person you love and are marrying isn't welcome in their home then maybe they (your family) shouldn't be welcome in your life.

This makes me angry and sad. I think telling her what you've told us is good and there's is nothing to lose. Ball is then in their court. I'm sorry you're going through this, people can be so shallow.

VC I remember your post about that. That's awful to come to a wedding and not be celebratory. Also, I'm invited to the graduation. I'm invited to all events really. The last function I went to was two months ago and I felt sick being there. I know I shouldn't, but I get so angry thinking about how everyone around me is conveniently ignoring that I'm getting married. It sucks.

I agree Renee! I never intended to fall in love with FW. She swept me up. She has been EVERYTHING the last 6 years. People in my family with shitty relationships. FW has been amazing but I have to justify my relationship to them... It makes no sense to me

Stay strong. The atmosphere is unfortunate so in the end it's how you choose to attend or not.

If family visits and functions just bother you enough, you guys can decide to attend or not.

I agree with pp, send the letter and leave it at that.

I'm so sorry you hear this!

Baletica; you don't have to justify your relationship to anyone. I've done many, many SS ceremonies (partly because NJ had civil unions first, then weddings before the rest of the country). Some of my families were all on board; some not. One of my very high profile couples had an entire side missing.The family that was there walked both women down the aisle and there wasn't a dry eye in the house.

I use a line in all of my weddings; "The family you've inherited and the family you have chosen" and it's so, so true. Wrap those people around you, hope that your families come around,but in the end, it's their loss.

Big hugs.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this, especially considering you and your mom used to be so close.

I think sending her a letter is a good idea- it's sometimes easier to express yourself that way. I think you're totally right to distance yourself from them, I would too. I hope they have a change of heart, but if not, I hope you still enjoy your day and celebrate with the people who support your marriage.

This makes me so sad for you.

I really hope one day they come around! But stay strong. Send her the letter. Let her decide what is more important to her

Thanks, everyone! I have really great friends that are family to me.