Unsupportive family

My mom didn't seem that excited for mine so i just didn't really tell her much about my plans and things i was doing

That's a common theme. Embrace the boards here and keep discussion of plans around them to a minimum.

I'm not super close with my parents, so I purposefully kept my planning period short and sweet and just relied on myself and my future spouse. This saved so much trouble and heartache!

Not zero support but too many opinions. Instead of just going what I want they want to have opinions on why I picked a certain color, or this doesn’t look good, do this, etc. 😕

My to-be-in-laws talk about it like a totally normal thing that's happening with no special anything. They don't ask about it, pretty sure they don't know the date. So, we just don't talk to them about it. My family asks all the time, though, so that helps too. My friends are also super supportive about it.

My husband is my support and so are my parents. His parents didnt ask about it and were very hands off and didnt want us even getting married because his dad has gotten divorced before and didnt want the same for his son. So what we do now is keep our distance. Our mental health is important

I believe that as long as you and your FH are happy, that’s what matters. I see this question come up a lot and perhaps I don’t understand the expectation for how family/friends should react. But I do know that they still have their own lives and aren’t the ones getting married. Therefore they aren’t thinking about our wedding 24/7.

My Moms side is ecstatic but my dads side is less than thrilled? My FH’s family cannot wait, they’ve been waiting on this day for years, but my FH’s father could care less. Oh well, we have all the support we need. In reality all you really need is your significant other ya know?

Eloping if they don't support you, doesn't make much sense for them to attend. That's how I feel about my situation anyway

A lot of people with too many directives, do this or that, and too many opinions on everything from every family member, would envy you and think you must have done something right, to have the priviledge of making choices and decisions with no pressure or interfering by you family. Lucky you. Seriously, many people including family see this as something of yours, like a show or pageant, that they are invited to as honored guests. And would not dream of having any input. A are very loving and caring and think the world of their grown children. They simply have personal boundaries of not sticking their nose or opinion into other people's projects. During our short 5 month engagement, with up hours and hours drive from FI's family, still every major dinner or visit, any of 5 of his Sisters or SIL would start with opinions, and bless my FMIL for outright telling them, evey time, that this was our wedding, thus our decisions, and they were to be quiet.

My mother provided so little support, she ended up declining to come. (This was fine with me.)

Unfortunately, some families are like that.

You are not alone. I'm sorry they are like that, but this gives you a lot of advance notice about how they will behave with other life changes. Now is the time to build what I call "framily" - the chosen family who supports you and loves you and is there for you.

Our parents never ask about it or talk about it. The only way we get to talk about it with them is if grandma asks (she's so excited so it helps) or if we bring it up when asked what's new. My parents seem more excited about the possibility of my brother proposing to his gf right before my wedding rather than me getting married. 🤷🏻‍♀️ at least I have my bridal party who is super excited about the wedding!

My mom wasnt supportive really noone but my cuzzin and brothers TBH however this ws something we wanted todo so eventually i got over it

From the other side of this, I feel like the husband and wife in Fiddler on the Roof, one wanting to hear words of love, the other saying I prove it by all the things I do for you, and have all these years, if that is not love, what is. My husband has nieces and nephews of older sibs now marrying. Two will get married at our place next year. And one was asking me the other day why I am not more happy for her. ???? For most of ten years she has come from NYC to N NH, short and long vacations. I always welcome her. I, nit her uncle, am the one quite happily helping her make plans. We will do it here, Nd I will take care of food ( with some help.) and she has some beautiful lace her aunt sent from Italy, their family business, and she wants me to teach her to make her own gown and bead it. Hours and hours and hours together, much with a child ir two excitedly looking on. But I am not what she considers excited enough. It is 14 months away, and we started stuff in February. I am not a cheerleader by nature. I did not bounce with excitement through 95% of my own wedding prep, and only 4.5 months. And my husband is pleased, and already building stuff. But he is easygoing, an engineer not a social butterfly, as he says. But she bounces and squeals and is a excited as a todler at a parade hours if every day. It is possible for many that what they consider a proper level of excitement, is unrealistic from the personalities of their family, and I mean those who normally get along and care, not those with problems . It always seems mean to say, everyone has the rest if their lives on their mind, and though they will be really pleased, bursts of excitement will be few, and mostly when the wedding comes. It is funny to be on the older family end of things and be told I am not excited enough. Isn't proud, generous, energetic and helpful far beyond what her parents and 8 other sets if aunts and uncles are , enough? We have to be excited? For 14 more months? Can I apologize in advance, because it is not going to happen?