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Jill

Unsolicited Advice for Planning a Wedding Now-2021

Jill, on July 8, 2020 at 5:56 PM Posted in Community Conversations 1 13
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After postponing/rescheduling a wedding and reading countless posts on this forum, I have some advice for 2020/2021 brides (please feel free to add your own:

*Do not put dates on ANYTHING (you may need to change date)

*If possible, find an outdoor venue for ceremony/reception (less likely to close, higher capacity allowed)
*Limit guests to your most favorite people not because of "have-tos" (that way you won't need to make cuts)
*Until there is a vaccine/cure, masks and social distancing are the new norm (accept it or don't plan a date until that happens)
*It's okay to be mad, angry, and depressed. This is supposed to be the most joyous occasion and it's been taken over by a pandemic (just remember what matters in the end is the marriage, not the ceremony)

13 Comments

Latest activity by Jessica, on July 9, 2020 at 9:29 AM
  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    I know you titled this "unsolicited" but regardless...

    *Don't shame other people for their decisions, even if/when they don't line up with yours.

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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    Say it louder for the people in the back!!
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  • T
    Super April 2021
    Tiger Bride ·
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    I just saw the last line of the post, that "what matters is the marriage, not the ceremony".

    People need to quit already. This is a wedding forum. Weddings have cultural, religious, and community significance and are pretty important to a big share of the population. People need to GTFO with this "the wedding doesn't matter". Actually, yes, it does. I wouldn't be on a wedding forum if it didn't.

    Sorry, had to get that off my chest.

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  • A
    Super October 2021
    Ashley ·
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    Mine isn’t until 2021, but I’d still like to add something:
    Make sure you talk to your vendors about what happens if the pandemic means you have to postpone or cancel, and be sure their words are backed up in writing on the contracts!

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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    Agree!
    If it was just the marriage that mattered I wouldn’t be spending thousands of dollars on a ceremony. I’d just go to the court house.
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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    I literally just told my newly engaged friend that!
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  • Jill
    Jill ·
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    Hello All,


    I am sorry my post has been misinterpreted. There was no shaming intended. I just know the hours of stress, tears, planning, and the amount of money we spent could have been minimized if I had heeded some of the points posted. I was trying to be helpful, not hurtful and I am sorry it came off the way it did.
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  • E
    Super October 2020
    Emma ·
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    I didn’t take your post as hurtful! I actually sent a screen shot of it to my newly engaged friend.


    It’s other people who tell brides that they are selfish for going through with their wedding, even though their state allows them to, that are hurtful. I had someone tell me my ceremony didn’t matter and that I was going to “cause someone to die” because I’m going through with my October wedding. I think you’d suggestion are great for people who are just now starting to plan!
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  • VIP August 2020
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    I'd like to add, get appointments for a marriage license and dress alterations as soon as you can. COVID is messing up everyone's schedules, and you never know when restrictions are going to change.

    Also, come up with a plan B (and C...) that you know you can live with. At some point, you might have to make a choice about whether or not to move forward with certain things, and it's a lot easier to make a decision if you know what the alternatives are.

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  • Kelly
    Savvy September 2020
    Kelly ·
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    There is nothing worse then people making comments or telling us as brides what to do. This isn’t something we ever thought we would have to do and is already one of the hardest and stressful things we have to plan.
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  • Jill
    Jill ·
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    Thank you for clarifying, Emma. I am sorry people have said such hateful things to you.
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  • Katie
    VIP August 2020
    Katie ·
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    Tip: check if your officiant would still be available in case location changes. Ask how your rehearsal dinner location can accommodate social distancing.
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  • Jessica
    Dedicated March 2025
    Jessica ·
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    I’m not sure how people took your post offensive. The tips were helpful and realistic! That’s true the marriage is important! And the goal is a happy healthy marriage.


    Wedding planning during CV19 has turned many into negative Nancy and bridezillas! Lol
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