Unprofessional Planner?

Did you sign a contract with her? If not, you should discuss that with her. If she's trying to grow this into a business, she needs to provide a contract outlining her services, her pricing, and basically what you can expect from her (including general response times to questions, etc.). It should also outline what she expects from you. This is to protect both parties, even if she offered to plan your wedding for free. You still have expectations, and I'm sure she does too. A contract most usually will effectively communicate these expectations, so there are no misunderstandings.

I would call her and either discuss this on the phone (don't wait for email), or have an actual in-person meeting with her to go over all this.

I would just do your planning yourself 🤷🏻‍♀️ Seems like it may be less work and less stress at this point lol

Free always sounds great until it isn't. She may want to grow her business but she likely looks at the situation as a favor. Your age might also play into it. When I was your age people often didn't treat me as they would a 30 year old. This always frustrated me because when paying for a service, I expected to be treated as they would anyone else. On the flip side, I think it would be difficult to work for free especially at an age where I need a full income. I do understand why she may not be as communicative as you'd like just due to the fact that it is free. The issue is, she did agree and it seems like she may be falling through. Maybe you should cut ties and plan the wedding without help. It may end up being easier without someone's help! Or you could reach out again and suggest a contract as a pp stated.

Are you her only wedding right now? That could also play into it too. She also might feel like you guys have a lot of time to sort everything out since you have a longer engagement.


I think in this situation... I would get her on the phone, explain how uncomfortable you are, and arrange a face to face meeting over coffee to construct a loose planning timeline that you both agree on. Since she is new to the business, you will likely have to begin planning yourself and be exact in explaining your vision and executing what you want. There are several professional planners out there that offer a (relatively) inexpensive online planning course and that could be used to help both you and your inexperienced planner stay on track, if that's an option for you.
I agree with PP about a contract! You need one.

If you want a planner and don't want to do it on your own, I'd say sit down with her and discuss your expectations of her and ask her what her expectations of you are. Because she is new to the business she may not have found how to properly budget her time; especially since you said wedding planning isn't her day job. If you have not signed a contract with her, have either her, you or the both of you together draw one up and both sign it. This way, you have everything in writing that she plans on doing for you with completion dates and a timeline to keep both of you on track.

In my personal opinion, I'd say let her help if you want a planner, but do a majority of the planning yourself. Make sure you have all of the proper information for your vendors, copies of contracts you sign, receipts of things you've paid for, etc., just in case she drops the ball or in case she decides not to do your wedding all together. Since she is doing it for free, that is a HUGE possibility unless you've signed a contract with her (in the contract make sure she states she's doing it free of charge so you can cover yourself if she tries to ask for payment later on). If she is taking forever to respond to emails or is just not responding at all, even though your wedding is still over a year away, it shows that she is not making your wedding a priority.

My FH and I have planned our entire wedding ourselves and it is doable and has been relatively easy as long as you are organized. The hardest part has been making the time to call vendors and schedule appointments with them b/c we both full time jobs, working 60+ hours a week (a little more than full time, lol) and my FH also runs his own youth basketball company in addition to his job. With our wedding being 50 days away now, we have all of that done and everything is ready to go.

If you plan on not using her for your planner and plan on doing it yourself, make sure you are organized. Get a binder, keep copies of everything, get a huge planner to keep track of dates you want things done by and research a ton! You've got this!

Even if you do have a contract, it would not be valid unless there is something you are contractually obligated to do for her in exchange for her services. Given that she is offering her services for free, she's doing what the law recognizes to be an unenforceable favor. Meaning you owe her nothing, so she owes you nothing. This is also why using friendors is discouraged by wedding minded people.


I also wonder if there is some kind of scam involved. Has she asked you for any personal information?

They say you get what you pay for. Sounds easier to plan your own wedding at this point.
My planner's cheapest package (month of coordination) costs around $1500, and she does this full time. I don't think your planner realized how much free labor she was signing herself up for.

View Quoted Comment Yeah... After doing a lot of researching myself, it's hard to believe that anyone who knows what they're getting into would do it for free... (In my opinion.) I am a generally organized person and I still think planning this wedding has been difficult! Lol

For anyone wondering why she would offer to do it for free- My FH is a survivor of the UNC Charlotte shooting that took place in April 2019. There are dozens of wedding vendors in the area that were touched by his/our story and have wanted to help with our wedding