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Michelle
Rockstar December 2022

Unpopular planning opinions

Michelle, on January 27, 2022 at 5:25 PM Posted in Planning 2 21
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For example, among all the child free weddings, do you want kids in attendance? Or are you in favor of desserts only instead of a full dinner or say a margarita bar if that’s what your guests prefer instead of beer/wine only? Are you anti- dress code on the invitation or don’t want anyone who is in attendance to lift a finger including at the ceremony if they are not a bridesmaid/groomsman?


What are your opinions that differ from the popular crowd without sacrificing guests’ comfort and courtesy towards them?

21 Comments

Latest activity by Kelly, on March 17, 2022 at 9:30 AM
  • Rosie
    Master February 2022
    Rosie ·
    • Flag

    It's common here to have child-free weddings - I've never been to a wedding where they've been invited, so that is what we are having, although I wouldn't say that is a controversial thing where we live.

    We have decided we are not doing too many shots of the bridal party - no walking across a field pretending to laugh whilst linking arms, no spraying champagne everywhere, no forced, posed photos of our group whatsoever. Instead, the venue has a small chaise longue type couch they can bring outside to sit in our ceremony area, and we will sit on it, whilst our family/bridal party combinations will rotate in and out behind us for some formal shots. We are hopeful it will take no longer than 30 minutes and then they are free to go back to their partners and enjoy cocktail hour while we go off to get pictures of just the two of us. We also have a second shooter who will mingle with the guests and capture candid moments as they happen. We wanted our photos to be very natural and easy to allow our guests to mingle and relax.

    I think that's basically the only unusual thing we are doing, really - we do also agree that no one should be 'working' on our wedding, so although we'll have our bridal party as backup contacts and problem solvers if anything drastic happens, our hope is that after the ceremony they'll just be free to do whatever they want and my new husband and I will manage ourselves (we'll see how that goes in my giant ballgown though, lol!)

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  • Allaura
    Dedicated November 2022
    Allaura ·
    • Flag
    We are having kids at our wedding. They even get their own section for fun stuff. We are doing private vows. I am paying for my bridesmaids hair and make up, they are not standing with me (which has weirdly become the norm). My fiancé has no groomsmen. No first dance.
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  • Brenda
    Dedicated October 2021
    Brenda ·
    • Flag
    I went to a wedding once that didn't serve dinner, just hor dourves. And I kinda really liked it. It was in a medium sized city with lots of restaurant options, and it was stated in the invitation that there would be no dinner, but gave a list of restaurants nearby the couple really liked. They ended up having plated hor dourves and had so many that if someone skipped dinner they'd end up full anyway.


    I know it's taboo or tacky to "not feed your guests", but it felt so chill and we were able to get food we liked. I feel like it only works with a certain style of couple with a certain style of family in a certain kind of location, though, because I know I wouldn't be able to pull it off with my family.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle Online ·
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    That sounds awesome. Many people are shocked to learn that heavy appetizers are much more filling than a full meal. The recommended serving for cocktail reception is 20-25 pieces per person while a plated meal is the equivalent of 6-8 heavy appetizers.


    “Not feeding guests” is not having any refreshments at all including cake. There are couples who do that though. Not having a full meal does not fit that criteria as long as guests are offered something, cake and coffee at minimum.
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  • Cece
    Master November 2022
    Cece ·
    • Flag
    In my family, there has never been a small or child-free wedding. We have an incredibly large family, so weddings are typically 250+ and there are a tons of kids of all ages. We will be the first to have a small, intimate wedding with no children. We will also be the first to have a destination wedding. We are definitely anti-dress code! Our guests are free to wear whatever they want, as long as the “special bits” are covered. Like literally, I don’t care if they show up in pasties, a speedo, or a huge ball gown… whatever they feel comfortable in, we are good with! While we will be dropping a pretty penny for photography and videography, I’ve been very clear I do not want the typical wedding pictures and videos. I don’t want super mushy, I don’t want stiff and posed, and I don’t want someone telling me to fake laugh on cue - I want our pictures and video to be authentic reflections of what actually happened on our wedding day.
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  • Ashley
    Dedicated April 2023
    Ashley ·
    • Flag
    The 2 unpopular opinions we faced so far were the fact we're planing to walk down the aisle together , we both want to do this, some of them voiced their unwanted opinions but we don't care what they think.
    I'll also bring him dress shopping (and NO ONE ELSE, not even mom, my sister or my friend from kindergarten), I want the 2 of us to love the dress, don't care if others think it's ugly as long as we both love it. During the planning process in general, I want to please him and myself,no one else, so he is the only one whose suggestions and opinions I consider before making a decision.
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  • H
    Devoted May 2023
    Heather ·
    • Flag
    I have always liked kids at weddings. They're cute and funny, and at least at the weddings I've been too they haven't caused trouble. We're having fun thinking of ideas for a kids table at our wedding.
    • Reply
  • Candace
    Super March 2022
    Candace ·
    • Flag
    Not wildly unpopular, but I'm walking by myself down the aisle. I'm in my forties and also it's the 21st century so there's not a dowry or goats involved in exchange for my hand in marriage.
    We are not having a cocktail hour. Ceremony then straight to dinner. The officiant will announce to everyone that the bar is open and the dinner line is ready. People can leisurely go inside and line up for either dinner or drinks while we are taking photos. I know it's uncommon to start dinner before the couple enters, but we know there will be a line for dinner so not need to wait for us. My FH will give a welcome/thanks for coming toast after most people have their plates and are sitting down.
    • Reply
  • Jmz
    Rockstar July 2022
    Jmz ·
    • Flag
    I really wanted a buffet because I wanted people to be forced to interact 😅 especially since it's going to be a very big mish mosh of people from different stages in our life. Also, I'm having both parents take me down the aisle and NO PARENT DANCES! Besides my personal situation, I find it strange how traditional and common this is that it's simply expected! Not everyone--in fact I'd go so far as to say not many people--genuinely have that kind of relationship with that specific parent of the opposite gender! I can't think of a more uncomfortable situation for me, personally. 🙈
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  • Olivia
    Just Said Yes June 2022
    Olivia ·
    • Flag

    I can't wait for the hashtag trend to die Smiley atonished almost no one uses them which defeats the purpose, and they are just another overdone trend at this point that people waste a lot of effort/stress on IMHO!

    • Reply
  • L
    Savvy October 2021
    Lala ·
    • Flag
    I have 2 unpopular opinions.


    1- no wedding party. I am highly anti bridesmaids.
    2- the fewer the guests the better. (Unless you have a large family) but when guest lists get 100+ the couple has no time with the couple. More guests does not equal more fun.
    • Reply
  • Jmz
    Rockstar July 2022
    Jmz ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Yes 😆🙌 agree x1000!!! People know how tag you if they want... why the hashing 😂
    • Reply
  • M
    Just Said Yes September 2021
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    Slippery slope for sure. We thought about it but in the end decided that kids were fine. I would consider having something for them to do though. Maybe get a sitter?

    • Reply
  • Maddie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Maddie ·
    • Flag

    Out families usually get grandparents or aunts and uncles to babysit - in this case the usual "babysitters" will all be AT the wedding, so by default we are allowing kids when it comes to family. Friends are leaving their kids at home because they wanna have fun (i.e. drink)

    We're also having a taco truck instead of a formal dinner. Sweet bread and donuts in lieu of a cake, and I cannot stress enough how much I DID NOT want bridesmaids...way too much drama. We also aren't having bachelor/bachelorette parties. While neither of us initially wanted one, we agreed to let our best men plan us low key nights at a bar, but with covid we just decided against it entirely because so help me if I can't go on my honeymoon...
    I'm also not doing a veil, any of the something borrowed, something blue etc stuff, no bouquet and garter toss.

    All I've ever wanted is my step dad to walk me down the aisle, and for everyone to get drunk and have fun.

    • Reply
  • Maddie
    Rockstar February 2022
    Maddie ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    THIS...so much THIS

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  • Sine
    Dedicated March 2022
    Sine ·
    • Flag
    I'll say...I'm okay with child free weddings. It seems a bit rude when you see it...but being a mom...I'm completely okay with it because I k ow for a fact I enjoy myself more when I don't have my kids there (they are little, 4 and 5.)


    I remember when I was a child, a second cousin had a wedding and she requested no children and my mom ranted and raved and was offended and refused to go. She was very upset because I was an only child and my father died when I was 2 so the only person she had was me. I understand as an adult why my mom was upset in her circumstances but I also now being a parent find I enjoy these things more without my kids.
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  • Shannon
    Dedicated October 2022
    Shannon ·
    • Flag

    Our children are our only bridal party.

    We're catering out own wedding.

    We're getting married at a girl scout camp.

    My dress isn't white...nor it is a wedding dress.

    We're doing a handfasting.

    My Pagan (ordained) friend is officiating.

    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes February 2024
    Tg-Ng ·
    • Flag
    I’m having a destination wedding, and although we are opting for a kid free reception, I have thought about getting a sitter for those with kids since some of our close family members have children .
    But how to go about this?
    I don’t feel like paying for a plate for a child when it’s 100+ pp 🤨Cheaper to get a sitter for the kids and some sandwiches or pizza 🤔🤷🏻‍♀️
    Any ideas or suggestions for this?
    • Reply
  • T
    Just Said Yes April 2022
    Trish ·
    • Flag

    I’m walking myself down the aisle—my parents have passed, and I would have only done it for them.

    No bridal shower; just not my thing. Chill bachelorette weekend at a beach house with good food, karaoke and dancing

    I have an ‘honor Posse’ instead of bridesmaids and MOH. Its been wonderful! My dearest friends, and I love the even more.

    No bouquet or garter toss. Hands down, worse part of any wedding.

    No kids. We don’t have any kids, and our nieces/nephews are older. So they are coming but not their kids.

    We’re taking each other’s names!

    • Reply
  • Mad
    Just Said Yes September 2023
    Mad ·
    • Flag

    Ooooo this is fun!!! My unpopular opinions (at least based on Weddit)

    - love kiddos at weddings. I hope one runs onto the dance floor during our first dance.

    -LOVE wedding favors, I have several from over the years that I treasure

    -no interest in dressing my bridesmaids, and only expectation/hope for them currently is that they show up so I can spoil them for being such incredible friends.

    -while ours probably won’t be one, dry weddings can be lovely

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