Unpopular guest opinions

It's YOUR wedding. Honor whatever customs and practices you desire.

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I completely agree with and understand that. For discussion purposes of various social circles and backgrounds that have different views on what is acceptable/customary vs not, what is something that you have come across that is different from how you and your social circle view wedding customs vs popular on WW.

I honestly can't answer this one since I was raised in a "do your own thing" family where everyone who has gotten married has had a different type of wedding. And I grew up in a region of the US (the west) where it appears that people are pretty accepting of all different kinds of weddings. We don't seem to have the weight of "centuries" of entrenched wedding traditions here.

It's very freeing and I was able to plan my wedding exactly how my now-husband and I wanted it without any interference from family or friends. This definitely colors my responses here because I have trouble empathizing with people worrying about including or not including some "required" wedding thing that they don't want, because they are worried what guests or family members will think.

One thing I've seen on here is that many people think Jack and Jills are tacky, and literally almost everyone I know getting married and people who previously got married in my area do them instead of bridal showers/stags. I'm not sure if it's just getting more popular in my area or what, I know in Canada they are popular but we are in the U.S. I've seen so many people say they think they are tacky on here, but everyone I know is REALLY excited to attend ours and they all absolutely love them and prefer them over showers.

View Quoted Comment What’s a Jack and Jill?

I'm lucky enough to be able to receive help from my family with no strings attached. Which I know is not only unusual, but also no longer The Thing. But there was no way we could have had a wedding exclusively on our own dime, not in NYC.

The garter toss is becoming increasingly unpopular around here, and the bouquet toss is also starting to be seen as iffy. (We did neither, though I HAVE caught bouquets.)

I personally hate the "first look" idea. I'm superstitious.

In our case, bringing together 2 families from 2 different cultures, also brought together 2 visions of what is "traditional" or not...

My polish mother thought we did not have enough food nor vodka (7 bottles left after the wedding, 3 were drunk...), my polish guests found that the food should be served at one time (and not by courses every 40 min.). Other thing : they thought we should be dancing from the beginning, while eating and drinking, but in France we have to finish the meal to start a bal...

My french mother-in-law thought that there would bee too much to eat and that we should skip the cheese - which is traditionnally served before dessert... (shocking to my polish guests).

But well... I had the wedding I wanted to have ;-)

View Quoted Comment Wow, quite a few differences! I hope the moms got along. Did you pick & choose from both cultures what you wanted to do and when? 🇵🇱 🇫🇷

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Yep, the get along very well, as they don't speak each other's languages, the just smile or hug !

Yes, fortunately I could find a good balance between the 2 cultures, but I think that the polish side was more appreciated by my french guests than the french one by the polish ones...;-)

However it costs a lot of money to bring something different to a typical french wedding - I had to pay 20$ extra because we wanted to break our glasser for luck for example . End 22$ for bringing every bottle of my own polish vodka to the party...

In our social circle, a cash bar, dollar dance, honeyfund, etc. would be huge etiquette breaches. I get that each is completely appropriate in some social groups, so that's cool, but I really think there are a number of wedding-related traditions where it is SO important to know your crowd. The whole "it's your day, you-do-you!" mentality makes me shake my head as it might not be great advice if "doing you" is going to be viewed by your friends and family as in poor taste (and they probably will not tell you directly...). On a completely different level, not writing thank you notes or in any other way not appropriately expressing gratitude is one of the worst violations possible in my book. I think we give very generous gifts. If the receiver can't be bothered to send a thank you, I generally stop sending gifts for their future events.

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It's in place of bridal showers and stags usually, but similar to a stag (although some prefer to do it similar to a bridal shower). It's coed, we sold tickets to get into the event and it buys the meal, cake and 2 drinks. Then we have raffles and games that people can buy into and the profits go to us to put towards wedding expenses. So just a big party where people give money towards raffles and games rather than getting us a gift.

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See that's so funny because I was told by my mom and both my grandma's that if I didn't do a dollar dance people would be almost offended that we didn't follow the tradition. It is very interesting and I agree that it's a know your crowd thing. Every bride and groom has a basic idea of how their guests would react to different situations.

View Quoted Comment What a fun blend of cultures! Glad the families appreciated your wedding. 💕