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Samantha
Savvy November 2021

Unplugged ceremony

Samantha, on June 11, 2021 at 1:53 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 1 27
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Has anyone had an issue getting their parents on board with an unplugged ceremony? I want the photographer to get beautiful photos without phones in the way but my parents are convinced that the crowed can get just as good of a photo and that we should let people take their phones out. I also want everyone to be present in the moment and not have their face in their phones during the ceremony.

27 Comments

Latest activity by Katie, on July 10, 2021 at 8:02 AM
  • V
    Champion July 2019
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    This isn't a decision for your parents to make. If you want an unplugged ceremony that's what you should do and I would advise making it very clear that's what you want. We had our officiant make an announcement asking everyone to please put their phones away.

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  • Stacey
    Super May 2021
    Stacey ·
    • Flag

    It's not your parents' decision to make. Tell them you'll consider their thoughts, but ultimately you and your FH make this decision. Also, they don't have to be onboard with it, so don't waste energy trying to convince them if they just won't ever get there. They just have to respect your decision. If they continue bringing it up, tell them you have already made a decision and will no longer be discussing the topic (and then quickly switch to another topic).

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  • Jessi
    Super October 2022
    Jessi ·
    • Flag

    I think this needs to be on you, not on your parents. You're going to be the one who receives photos at the end of the day, so they should be how you want. There's nothing wrong with people needing to put their phones down for a bit. Have the officiant announce it and put a sign up if you'd like. Obviously if someone is dead set on taking out their phone you can't stop them, but it'll most likely dissuade some people who may have otherwise.

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  • AJ
    Super October 2022
    AJ ·
    • Flag

    Its not their decision, I agree 100% with having an unplugged ceremony. You pay all that money to have a photographer take pictures and then your great aunt Helen gets in the photographers way. Its your wedding, if you want it unplugged have it unplugged.

    I think it is incredibly rude to take pictures during a wedding ceremony - phones should be turned off and put away.

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  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    I think people really overestimate how much of a problem this is and personally think it's rude to tell adults what they can and can't do with their phones. If it's a non-negotiable for you, have your officiant announce before the processional "at this time, please silence and put away any electronic devices". That's all. You don't need signs and stuff.

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  • Ava
    VIP May 2022
    Ava ·
    • Flag
    I think it’s so strange that people holding their phones up and snapping photos during a wedding ceremony has become so socially acceptable. That would have been like your parents allowing everyone to bring their personal cameras to their wedding and snap photos during their ceremony. THAT wasn’t acceptable, so why is holding up a phone considered acceptable now?? So strange. To answer your question though, no we haven’t had any issues with getting our parents on board with an unplugged ceremony. I have a feeling it will affect our younger guests a lot more than our older family members. We are like you - we would like everyone to be present during the ceremony, not in their phones. That is why we are spending a fortune on a photographer- so THEY can capture the moment. Also, our wedding is a private event which we only want to share with our nearest and dearest- not have phone photos and videos of it splashed all over social media for everyone to see. It really can become an invasion of privacy.
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
    • Flag

    Like everyone else has said, this isn't a decision the parents make. If you don't want phones out during your ceremony, then let it be known that it's an unplugged ceremony. You can have a sign made to be placed at the entrance to the ceremony area, and I highly suggest having the officiant announce it as well before the ceremony begins. You can also have a 'social media minute' where after you walk down the aisle, the officiant announces that the guests have one minute to take their phones out and get a picture of you both. After that minute, everything MUST be put away. If you have a wedding website with a FAQ tab, add that in as well to emphasize it.

    I created a sign on Canva and had it printed on Vistaprint. My mom saw it and got mad because she thought it was rude, but honestly, don't care lol. Everyone else that's seen it loves it, so I honestly think it's a personal feeling whether you think it's rude or not. To me, I think it's more rude to be on your phone or be disrespectful of the couple's wishes just because you want your own photo of the ceremony.

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  • Molly
    Expert August 2021
    Molly ·
    • Flag

    We're making a sign that says "Let the photographer capture the magic. Please silent your phones and put away your cameras." We haven't heard push back yet but, we did have a separate conversation with my step-dad. He has a nice camera and likes to take pictures. I showed him the pictures of our photographer's work so he could feel comforted that he has good work. I think the issue is that your parents seem to think it won't be a problem. I would show them these photos and ask if they are okay with your professionally done photos turning out like this. Because people's phones can definitely ruin perfect moments.

    Unplugged ceremony 1

    Unplugged ceremony 2

    Unplugged ceremony 3

    Unplugged ceremony 4

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  • Jm Sunshine
    Jm Sunshine ·
    • Flag
    I am going to go out on a limb here...I first want to say, I totally understand not wanting pictures of your ceremony posted on social media. However, I do want to say that some of our best ceremony pictures came from our guests rather than photographer and their pictures ended up in our album instead. Then there are those freak situations I'm always reading about in our area (SF Bay Area) where the photographer's equipment is stolen on the way home from a wedding.
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  • Jackie
    Savvy January 2022
    Jackie ·
    • Flag

    I would say definitely go with the unplugged ceremony sign if you have doubts about people keeping their phones put away. You can also have your officiant do a quick reminder prior to the ceremony that phones are to be put away. My photography contract states specifically that cell phones can't be out as they interfere with the photographers ability to do their jobs, so I will be having an unplugged ceremony sign so we arent in violation of that. You can always tell your parents/family that your contract forbids cell phones, even if its not true Smiley smile

    Hope this helps!

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  • VIP August 2020
    ·
    • Flag
    We always planned on having an unplugged ceremony. When we ended up having a miniwedding last year, we made the whole thing unplugged (ceremony and reception). We did get pushback from the mothers, but afterward, they both commented that it was so nice that no one had their phones out the whole time. In addition to having device-free photos, it felt like everyone was much more present and really able to enjoy the experience.
    Honestly, if I could make our whole big reception this year unplugged, I would. I'm trying to figure out if we can have at least a few moments of device-free time throughout the night.

    Just keep reminding your parents that this is your wedding and it's not up to them. (If you and your fiancé use the same wording to respond to this, that could help.) Even if you're taking their input on other things like the decor or the reception, the ceremony really is only about the two of you. They'll get over it once they're able to actually experience the joy of seeing you get married without being filtered through a phone screen or distracted by other people's phones.
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  • Kk
    Devoted October 2021
    Kk ·
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    I'm right there with you. You never know what could happen. Equipment malfunctioning/breaking/getting stolen etc. And I know someone whose photographer ghosted them after the wedding and they never received any of their pictures. While we'd like to think that the chances of that happening are really slim, I'd be devastated if I wound up with no photos because I had an unplugged wedding.
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  • Samantha
    Savvy November 2021
    Samantha ·
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    My photographer works with a backup chip in and they partner with my venue closely. I doubt They will ghost.
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  • Samantha
    Savvy November 2021
    Samantha ·
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    Exactly! If guest cameras were a no go then so should phones. Everyone today sees the world through their phones. I don’t want our ceremony to be remembered like that.
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  • S
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Sam ·
    • Flag

    As a guest, it’s very annoying to have to deal with “that guest” who will not put their phone down. They are not only interfering with the couples’ wishes and jeopardizing the photographer’s work, they are ruining the guest experience too. It’s selfish, obnoxious, and inconsiderate.

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  • J
    Judith ·
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    Why is it rude when this is a private party in a reserved for couple private space? When it's not a public place, it is always up the the consent of the hosts or contract holders on the private space. It was back to little Instamatics and more, it is not new with the camera phone. Why should people expect it is okay without permission when for more than 70 years it has not been?
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  • O
    Savvy August 2021
    o1234 ·
    • Flag

    Literally having this conversation with my mom now... She thinks the unplugged ceremony sign is rude and that a good photographer should be able to go around it. I hear horror stories of pictures being ruined by phones. My mom thinks even if we have a sign people will still take them out. I'm curious if people have had a sign if it worked??

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  • Samantha
    Savvy November 2021
    Samantha ·
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    My mom said that too but why make them work harder than that have to when you can prevent it?
    I’m not going to worry about the people who take their phones out after they see the sign and hear the announcements. I won’t be happy about it but I’m not going to stop the ceremony for it.
    My parents were worried I would literally stop the officiant in the middle of the ceremony and ask them to tell the person with their phone out to put it away which is insane. That in its self would ruin the ceremony in my opinion. I’m not even sure why they were convinced I would do that.
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  • Samantha
    Savvy November 2021
    Samantha ·
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    I absolutely agree with this
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  • SLY
    Master January 2022
    SLY ·
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    Every wedding I've been to that had a sign, worked. But it also depends on your crowd, and you always hope your guests will be respectful of your wishes.

    We've seen these signs work, so we're def. having one! I've seen way too many photos of wedding ceremonies with people's phones in the air. I'm sorry, but it's tacky and rude no matter what your intentions are.

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