Laurel
Beginner June 2022

Unofficially engaged stress!

Laurel, on August 1, 2021 at 9:36 PM Posted in Planning 0 5
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We've always planned to get married the summer of 2022. With everyone postponing because of COVID, we thought we would book our venue and photographer as soon as possible. However, we aren't officially engaged yet so we haven't told our families. It feels so weird to be planning without anyone knowing! Will our families be upset that we planned without telling them?

5 Comments

Latest activity by Veronica, on August 2, 2021 at 3:43 PM
  • S
    Devoted September 2022
    Sarah ·
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    We started looking at venues before we got engaged, too! I did not book anything, though. You probably know your families better than anyone else but I think my mom would’ve been upset if we had booked anything before at least telling her. Everyone is different, though. I do think it’s a good idea to start looking thought because some vendors I’ve talked to are booked for my date in sept 2022.
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  • Christina
    Dedicated September 2022
    Christina ·
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    When do you plan on telling them? I’m sure they’ll be hurt that they haven’t been included. It’s been my decisions but my mom and his grandma have loved sharing looking at venues and talking about details with me. It just depends on your relationship with them. Overall it is your wedding and your decision anyways, you don’t have to share this experience with them. But I could see them potentially being hurt / sad.
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  • Sarah
    Master September 2019
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I think this really depends on your relationships. H had chosen my ring and it was being sized when we booked our venue. We got lucky and basically got the last weekend date they had available for the time of year we wanted. Once my ring came in we started telling people. No one was upset we had started plans already, but I also never planned to include anyone in the planning process outside of my husband.
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  • Katherine
    Beginner June 2023
    Katherine ·
    • Flag

    You are not alone! I am also unofficially engaged and moving forward with planning some aspects of the wedding because of all the postponements.

    I have a soft hold on the venue and my mom and my boyfriend know, but his family does not. I don't think anyone will be too upset.

    I agree that it does feel so strange planning and not being able to tell people! What is stressing me out the most is that I can't tell anyone to save the date or check their availability!

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  • Veronica
    Dedicated November 2021
    Veronica ·
    • Flag

    Are you paying for the wedding yourselves? If so, I don't think it is anyone's business. You shouldn't feel like you should have to tell anyone. If you are going to ask for help or have someone else pay for it, then it might be in your best interested to ask after the engagement. But even then...does it really matter?

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