Sami
Beginner October 2021

Uninviting people

Sami, on July 29, 2021 at 1:01 PM Posted in Planning 0 23
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So we sent out invitations and almost everyone has RSVP yes but our venue is only allowing so many people still. How do you decide who to send an uninvited message too?! And what do you even put in the uninvited message?

23 Comments

Latest activity by Nakia, on July 31, 2021 at 7:09 PM
  • S
    Devoted September 2022
    Sarah ·
    • Flag

    Is there a limit because of COVID restrictions? If that's the case then put something like "Due to our venues COVID restrictions they have a limited capacity and we need to downsize. Our wedding will now just be immediately family and close friends." Probably word it a little better than that but you get the point.

    If it isn't COVID I'm a little confused how you have more invited than the capacity? You're not suppose to invite more than what the venue holds.

    • Reply
  • Jessi
    Expert October 2022
    Jessi ·
    • Flag

    Wait... so you invited and sent out more invites then what your venue even allows? Why did you do that?

    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
    • Flag
    You should never invite more guests than the venue holds… were you just assuming covid restrictions would change? Or you assumed declines? Either way there is no polite way to word this.
    • Reply
  • SHY
    Master January 2022
    SHY ·
    • Flag

    I'm assuming there's capacity restrictions because of COVID, and if that's the case and you knew of this beforehand, then invites should have only been sent to the amount you knew your venue could hold. But what's done is done, and I'd suggest wording it how Sarah did.

    "While we wish we could have all of our loved ones attend, due to COVID restrictions we will have to downsize our wedding to only include immediate family and close friends. We apologize for the inconvenience and change of plans, and hope we get the chance to celebrate with you in the future!"

    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Agree with this. The only way to uninvite anyone, as all the etiquette books/articles stated at the beginning of the pandemic, is to send cancellation notices to everyone and create a new event with an all new date and guest list.
    • Reply
  • Janet
    Dedicated October 2018
    Janet ·
    • Flag
    Did you over invite with the hopes of declines and lowered COVID restrictions? That’s twice the chances of being over capacity……..there’s no nice way to uninvite someone especially if they have already made travel and lodging plans. Never invite more than what the venue can handle at that time.
    • Reply
  • Cool
    Super July 2020
    Cool ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    It looks like the wedding is in October which means invites should have gone out pretty recently I’m assuming? It sounds like maybe simply too many people were invited.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Looking at the calendar, for a wedding taking place the first weekend in October, the invites should not be sent until the first week of August at the earliest. So you can revise the guest list in a weekend without having to uninvite anyone. Provided they have not been sent yet. But the new standard on WW is people suggesting they be sent at 10 weeks at the latest which is too early.


    If save the dates have already been sent to everyone 6 months ago, that throws a wrench in too because you can’t revoke those without a cancellation notice for all guests.
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated September 2021
    K ·
    • Flag
    I feel like you can’t do this unless you cut it down to just immediate family. I think people will understand if you eliminate everyone but immediate family, otherwise they will know they aren’t as important to you as maybe someone else
    • Reply
  • Jessi
    Expert October 2022
    Jessi ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    She said they already sent them and they're already getting RSVPs back, so it's definitely too late for that stuff. They're stuck with either finding a new venue to fit everyone or somehow uninviting people I guess (though I can't imagine doing that).

    • Reply
  • Vicky
    VIP January 2020
    Vicky ·
    • Flag

    What on earth? How did this happen? You need to find a new venue ASAP.

    • Reply
  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
    • Flag

    If this is because of Covid restrictions, then I'd cut your list down to immediate family only. Otherwise, I'd find a new venue ASAP that can accommodate everyone!

    • Reply
  • Katie
    Expert August 2021
    Katie ·
    • Flag
    You should never ever invite more guests than you are allowed to have. Yes you do get people who won't come but you can't just expect 10 people to decline. You either should find a new venue that fits that many people or make the dreaded call and tell people they are no longer invited because of restrictions. Maybe you can cut plus ones as well.
    • Reply
  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
    • Flag
    I’ll echo previous statesmen’s. How did you over invite? Did you just ignore your venues capacity limits? Or did then impose new ones?
    • Reply
  • Sami
    Beginner October 2021
    Sami ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    It’s hard because everyone we invited is important. I don’t think anyone we invited would feel this way if some friends stayed on list and others didn’t.
    • Reply
  • Sami
    Beginner October 2021
    Sami ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    Our venue has just recently changed the amount due to a covid rise.
    • Reply
  • Sami
    Beginner October 2021
    Sami ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I didn’t send more than the venue allowed. They have changed the amount allowed due to covid.
    • Reply
  • Sami
    Beginner October 2021
    Sami ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    The venue owners felt the need to change the number on us because of the rise in covid cases,
    • Reply
  • Sami
    Beginner October 2021
    Sami ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I didn’t over invite. They have recently changed the number allowed on us.
    • Reply
  • Sami
    Beginner October 2021
    Sami ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    I didn’t over invite. The venue recently changed the number they are allowing at their place on us.
    • Reply

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