Hello fellow brides,
So I thought having to postpone in a pandemic was going to be our biggest problem, but...
Some background: My FH's cousin died a couple months before we sent out our Save the Dates. It wasn't unexpected. He'd been sick for a long time. When my in-laws submitted their part of the guest list, they included his widow. I expressed that I felt a little funny inviting a recent widow to a wedding, especially since we don't know her at all. I've never met her and my fiancé only met her once. My in-laws, however, were insistent. After repeated confirmations with them, we sent her a Save the Date. And when we postponed the wedding due to COVID, we sent her a new Save the Date.
Shortly after the second send, my in-laws called and said there was some drama between her and my FH's aunt, her mother-in-law, and that we probably shouldn't have put her on the guest list. I said we sent her two Save the Dates now and I thought it would be rude to not send an invitation, and nobody fought me on that. I really didn't think there was any chance of her coming anyway. Like I said, she doesn't know us at all.
Welp, wouldn't you know it, we got her RSVP "yes" today. And even though we didn't give her a plus-one, she still wrote down her boyfriend's name on the response card. My FH's family want me to call her and rescind the invitation altogether. They feel her being there will cause her MIL too much grief and that they may fight at the wedding, or that my FH's aunt wouldn't show up at all, which would devastate my future FIL.
Anyway...I have no idea what to do here. I don't want to upset my FH's family and I don't want to have this conflict be a part of my wedding day. But I feel incredibly rude/awkward/embarrassed calling this woman, who is essentially a stranger and who as far as she knows simply responded to an invitation, and telling her she isn't welcome.
Mostly I just need to vent about this, but I'd appreciate any advice, whether you've been in a similar situation or not. What would you do if you were me?