Karissa
Beginner September 2020

Uninviting a guest??? Need help here

Karissa, on July 2, 2020 at 7:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 15
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So a friend and i have majorly drifted apart since we stopped working together. I have tried numerous times to get together with her (before covid) and she would always blow me off. Well I had to reschedule my bach party due to covid, and i was considering everyones finical struggles due to how life is right now. I offered to move the bach party 5 mins from her house and she still said that she couldn't make it. I have people that are driving 3 hours to get here and she can't drive 5 mins!? I am looking at this like,"if u can't put 5 buck in your car and make the short drive why should you come to my wedding (Hour and a half away) drink the free booze and eat the free food?? I want to uninvite her just not sure how to do it!? She already has the invite... Am i over reacting?? PLEASE HELP A SISTER OUT

15 Comments

Latest activity by Pam, on July 3, 2020 at 2:57 AM
  • Jana
    Master October 2022
    Jana ·
    • Flag

    Once the invites go out, you can't politely uninvite anyone without cancelling the entire event. Cross your fingers that she declines is the only thing to do at this point.

    • Reply
  • Reena
    Expert February 2021
    Reena ·
    • Flag
    When is the bachelorette party? She may not be comfortable hanging out because of the pandemic.
    • Reply
  • Karissa
    Beginner September 2020
    Karissa ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    The bach party is July 30th, when I asked her if it was due cover she said no she just can't commit to it.

    • Reply
  • Karissa
    Beginner September 2020
    Karissa ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Ugh!!! I hate that!!!

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag
    I would just leave it be if she comes cool if she doesn’t whatever
    • Reply
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
    • Flag

    Allowing someone to come to your wedding (since you have already sent the invitations) should not be contingent on bachelorette party attendance. They are two completely separate events.

    • Reply
  • Reena
    Expert February 2021
    Reena ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Ugh. I’m sorry. I would just hope she doesn’t make it. You will be so busy with everything going on you really won’t see her long.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    Its your wedding. As long as you understand uninviting her means a friendship ending move forever than just go for it. You should only have people that you want to be at your wedding be there. Send her a text if you have to. Who cares about formality at that point. Just tell her you’re downsizing due to Covid and leave it at that n don’t contact her ever again. Or tell her the truth. Who cares? She may be dreading having to go to your wedding anyhow.
    • Reply
  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
    • Flag
    I would just invite her and she’ll probably decline. And then at least you did your part.
    • Reply
  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    Don’t uninvite her. It seems like she doesn’t want to be there anyway. Just let her decline.
    • Reply
  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
    • Flag

    Uninviting someone can only be done in VERY few circumstances and even then it is a very slippery slope to travel down.

    To be honest, I don't think your friend is necessarily deserving of being uninvited (she hasn't done anything malicious or sinister that would warrant it) and it doesn't seem like she will come anyway. If she does, she'll just end up proving you wrong.

    I think this just comes down to frustrations of having different effort levels (and expectations) with other people, I feel you sister!

    • Reply
  • Karissa
    Beginner September 2020
    Karissa ·
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    View Quoted Comment
    It’s not even that’s, it is the fact that she has ghosted me.. I think that was just the last straw
    • Reply
  • Karissa
    Beginner September 2020
    Karissa ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Thank you so much! And I appreciate you breaking it down like this.. 💜
    • Reply
  • K
    Savvy October 2020
    Karen ·
    • Flag

    Hi Karisa,

    You stated she already has the invite. Did she RSVP saying she is coming? You maybe stressing un-necessarily. However, there is nothing like looking into the crowd on your wedding day, and seeing someone you don't care for, eating your food and having a good time.

    • Reply
  • P
    January 2014
    Pam ·
    • Flag

    Here's what I'd do:

    Hope she's late sending the RSVP so that you have to follow up - leave a voice message saying that if you don't hear back from her by X, you'll put her down as a "no." Sounds like you'd get voice mail on calling her anyway.

    Even if she responds with a yes, I wouldn't be surprised if she didn't show up. Don't include her in your headcount.

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