So, I have an old friend who moved away in highschool. We re-connected a couple years ago when she was diagnosed with MS and I went to visit her many states away. A few months later, she came to visit and stayed with me the trip was HORRIBLE. Her anxiety is unmanagable, she cried nearly every hour, would wake me up in the mornings by poking my face, constantly asking for me to reassure that I like her, would ask for me to tell her that I liked her more than my other friends, I could go on and on..
It was her first time visiting back home and first time being away from her children, so I chalked it up to that and tried to give her some grace and hoped that future visits wouldn't be the same. Well, she was in town this past week for a different event and ending up staying ONE night with me and, again, it was AWFUL. Some examples include: she cried the entire time, told me that the event she attended was full of mean girls and everyone was horrible to her, asked me repeatedly to tell her that I liked her. We went to eat and she brought a friend with her, later on that day the friend didn't reply to her text for about an hour and she would not stop asking me if I thought her friend was mad at her. Literally, for hours spoke about how I was her only friend and she hates everyone except me. It was her first time meeting my fiance. he is the most kind and patient person on this planet and he had a really difficult time dealing with her. She is a sweet girl, but deeply insecure and her need for reassurance and validation is SO over the top and unhealthy.
Invitations have not gone out but she knows about the wedding, assumed she was invited and put me on the spot. She is already asking me if she can stay with me, get ready with me, do favors for me, etc. She asked me if she could bring her oldest daughter, I said no. She pushed back "but its my daughter...". Our wedding is literally 30 people. Very intimate, no dancing, just a really nice dinner with our favorite people. I'm sorry and it sounds cruel but I just don't want her there. She is so draining, I KNOW for a fact I'm going to be annoyed and drained by her. My other friends don't want to be around her, she is exhausting. My fiance would rather her not be there but ultimately knows it's my call. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings and make her feel even worse, but I know for a fact she is going to have a negative impact on not only enjoying my wedding but my other guests. In a room of 30, she will not go unnoticed.
What do I do here? I'm so torn because I feel like I need to either sacrifice my sanity or cut the friendship and I'm really not prepared to do either. I feel AWFUL.
