Uninvited second cousin sending gifts and writing weird messages

I probably wouldn't send the gift back, mostly because I don't think that is going to stop her from badgering you. Did you tell her you were having a smaller wedding and did not invite any second cousins? Have you addressed not inviting her personally? I think that would help.

I would probably ignore her because I refuse to acknowledge immature behavior. If you feel like she's the kind of person who needs to be spoken to about it, I would write her a message and say "I really appreciate your generous gift. I can tell from your social media posts that your feelings are hurt and I understand, however, we are keeping our guest list to close friends and family only. I'd love to get together to reconnect once the wedding is over and things calm down."

Have you considered blocking/unfriending? It sounds like she is a bit obsessive about the wedding. As for the gift, you can always return it to the place she got from if you feel uncomfortable having it (proper etiquette or not, if you don't feel comfortable keeping it, don't). If you don't want to block/unfriend, you can block people from seeing certain posts. I would also delete the creepy comments, but that's just me haha. Good luck!

There's no guarantee that anything you say or do will make her stop acting like a child, but I like what Caytlyn said above. Send her a thank you message via Facebook messaging but add that you would really appreciate it if she would stop posting about it.

Oh yeah that is pricey! I agree with you, she is probably trying to "buy" an invite (if you overthink we think alike then lol), or guilt trip you. I would be the bigger person, write the thank you note, and maybe after the wedding passes make a decision on the gift! Definitely don't accept that Insta follow haha!

Honestly, I would just send her a thank you card for the gift and leave it at that. You do not owe her an explanation or an invite. Her feelings may be hurt due to not being invited, but unfortunately you had to make decisions and cuts and she didn't make the list. I think her comments are more of her trying to feel out if you are inviting her.. she may very well not know or if she does, she may be pushing for an invite.

I would politely thank her for the gift and explain that you are having an intimate wedding but that you appreciate her well wishes. I would then block her from anything you post wedding related (you can do this by limiting posts and pictures from your Facebook under privacy. If she isn't getting the visual fuel then she wont have anything to talk about. And that way you can post stress-free to your other family and friends