Uninvited guests coming to the reception after dinner?

This is not common at all. Only invited guests should be attending your reception.

Hi! There are a few cousins i didn't want to invite for fear of who they'd bring but my mom said no if you invite one (her sister, mom and dad), then you have to invite all. So on my RSVP's, I put please guest attending plus one only. Idk if this answers your question. In regards to them coming for just drinks and dancing, unless he's eating i would just blow it off (if she's important to you). If she's not say no. Everyone should be at the reception for you, not for what they get out of it. I feel you should do what you want. It's your day and your money. But also not everyone is married nowadays. You have to remember that. Hope this helps!

That means you would have to pay for this extra person's drinks? For fairness, every single person would be allowed to bring someone after dinner and then you have to pay for their drinks as well. I don't know about your wedding, but alcohol is a bigger expense than food for me. I don't know why people think it's okay to add to the guest list in any way when so much of a wedding' s cost is based on guest list.

Although, I see a lot of people on the forums say that it's not considered a plus one if someone is in a relationship. Aren't plus ones reserved for truly single people, not unmarried?

View Quoted Comment All of my cousins are invited. None are allowed a plus one unless they are married. On my invites I put ‘we have reserved 1 seat in your honor’ so I’m hoping that makes it crystal clear that there are to be no plus ones. On top of a budget, we have a room capacity that we need to respect. I just do not want hurt feelings and problems. If I say her boyfriend can come after dinner, then all of my unmarried cousins will want to do that and it will get out of hand.

Honestly you already look rude by not inviting the boyfriend. He is not considered a "plus one" since they are in a relationship. Plus ones are for single people who are not in a relationship, not for couples who are dating, engaged or married (they are a social unit that should be invited together). You need to invite him to the entire wedding.

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Ditto. You should have chosen a venue big enough for everyone and their SOs and all your other guests.

View Quoted Comment Not going to happen. I have a huge family and if I let everyone bring a plus one there would be well over 200 people. That’s why I needed to implement the rule. ‘No ring no bring’ As of right now we are paying for our wedding by ourselves. This cousin has only been dating her boyfriend for a few months.

I agree. Plus ones are for those unmarried. Bc you already know married couples are that, couples. I'm paying for my wedding too but I do have to consider that some don't want to come to the reception unaccompanied. Like one of my sister's isn't married and she isn't in the wedding so she gets to bring someone just like everyone else. But I also agree that if he's just coming for the 'free' drinks and food then he shouldn't come if he's not there for you.

View Quoted Comment Most of us paid or are paying for the wedding ourselves (we did) so this is not an excuse to ignore the real rule that couples, no matter how long they've been together, should both be invited together. Your "rule" doesn't exist and as you can see is already causing hurt feelings and strife.

View Quoted Comment This is so archaic. What about couples who choose not to get married but still spend decades together?

I agree with both Sarah and Earias. Very true.

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Me three - per the "no ring no bring" rule our neighbor would not have been able to bring her boyfriend of twenty years.

Can't accommodate plus one's? Trim the guest list.

Right. That's what I had to Do

View Quoted Comment Oh ok so I’m just supposed to cut my family instead of giving them a plus one? I have all of 20 non-family (friends,coworkers) coming. Not a chance. My cousins bf of 6months can stay home. If she doesn’t like it she can stay home. Just one less person I have to pay for. Idc

But if you don’t care if she comes, why put her on the guest list in the first place? We didn’t invite all our cousins because some of them we have no relationship with. We wouldn’t have left someone’s significant other off our guest list in order to invite someone that if they couldn’t come we didn’t care.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this. People in a relationship are in a social unit and should be invited as a couple.
No - it’s not normal to have extra people come to your reception after dinner.
if you allow that you best letting your caterer know that the price of open bar just be adjusted (in case you’re having one) to account for all extra people walking in. As a vendor I would be going after you with a bill if I knew you had extra people than original headcount consuming alcohol during reception. Plus I believe this would be a breach of contract on your end.

🤦🏻‍♀️ FH has told a couple people that he is okay with them coming after the dinner but it upset me as well! I think if they were “welcome” then we would’ve sent them an invite? I get you, I told him absolutely no more of that. But there’s nothing I can do about the people he already told this to. My biggest fear about this is not that they’ll drink my alcohol or anything like that- it’s if something happened (a fire or a fight or idk) or somethingwent missing/ was stolen... these people are just unaccounted for if that makes sense?

Totally not common. It's very rude to crash a wedding.

However, you should be inviting your cousin's boyfriend. Significant others should always be invited; they are not a plus one.

As several posters have already said, you should have invited your cousin's bf. If you cannot afford to invite your loved ones and their spouse, then you cannot afford a party of that size and should consider a smaller guest list. It is better to not invite people than insult them by judging the seriousness of their relationship.
And, yes most people in here are paying for their wedding.
If you're set on doing this, then why does it matter if you seem rude if the bf comes or not after dinner when you're already being rude?

SO, my concerns is for total capacity and the perception of your vendors. Before this is allowed, you need to make sure how much "room" you have before you hit fire martial capacity for the reception venue. Also, make sure you have room if your venue implements a guest count limit [You really dont want to be tracking who leaves and who enters, to make sure capacity is not exceeded]. Secondly, think about any possible ways this could cause you extra money, and whether your budget allows it. One person might not be as noticeable, but if it becomes a "trend" among your guests who were not given RSVP [she could so I can mentality] then it will be noticed. I would imagine vendors will raise an eyebrow about this.... It just seems like a huge risk in my opinion. You and FH should really talk about this before it is allowed to happen, it could very easily spiral out of control.