Underage bridesmaid

Who is planning your bachelorette party? Whomever it may be, she should think of something that EVERYONE would be able to go to.

It's probably fine for her to go with you guys. Call all the places and ask. They can X out her hands and she won't be served.

You could have a night where you go out to clubs with your bridesmaids that are of age, and then have another night where you guys stay in and have a movie night, do your nails, classic sleepover stuff. Then everyone feels included and you still get the bachelorette party experience that you want.

If you don't want to do a sleepover, there's other "tame" bachelorette party things you could do. I've heard of people going to theme parks, having brunch, um... I'm drawing a blank but there's plenty of things you can do that don't involve drinking and clubbing

My sister/MOH, she's already told my bridesmaid that she would need to get a fake and if not, oh well, she said she's not about to have put all this time and effort into planning and spending the money to go up there and then just end up hanging out in our hotel all night. I'm desperately trying to find places that are 18. I'm also thinking maybe instead of going to that gay bar that my sister hire a stripper(s) or do the butlers in the buff. I feel bad for my bridesmaid, but I also understand where my sister is coming from. Unfortunately we would more than likely have this problem regardless of where we are going.

Don't tell her to get a fake, they're expensive as hell and tbh, with all the trouble that the bar can get into for serving someone underage and she can get into for using a fake, it's kind of selfish to ask her to go through with using one just for your bachelorette party.

Double post

So pretty much all day Saturday is spa day/shopping touring the city. Friday and Saturday night we are doing dinner and then going out for a few drinks, I don't want to go to a club, because clubs are all the same, I'm looking more into bars, lounges, and piano bars, but most are strictly 21+ I'm probably just going to end up calling a few places tomorrow, but I was just seeing if anyone was from the area that would know some places or knew if they will let someone underage in when the rest of the group is of age

I don't want her to get a fake, my sister does. I'm going to talk to my bridesmaid tomorrow and tell her and see what she has to say.

Fair enough. If you're going for multiple days and staying there, I think you should stick to things that everyone can do. It'd be one thing if it was just one night but if you all are going and staying there a couple nights, she shouldn't be left at the hotel by herself

Have her be your dd, even though I'm sure you won't be driving. I don't think the clubs will object to you having a 20 year old dd, as long as you are upfront about it so they can mark her as underage. If she was under 18, this would be a much bigger deal.

While it doesn't hurt to ask, many clubs will not make an exception for underage, even as a DD. There's too much risk for them. Maybe a dive bar...maybe.

Is your sister willing to take the heat when your BM gets caught with fake? That's a totally unfair expectation. Your sister is being selfish. There's plenty to do that doesn't involve drinking. If your BM is planning to go, you should plan to do things everyone can do. At 20 years old, she may not be able to even afford a trip (most 20 year olds I know couldn't). Do you know if she even wants to go?

Comedy clubs have 18+ nights. It's super rude to plan a bachelorette that everyone can't participate in, so kudos to you for fixing it. There are also activities like bowling, escape rooms, maybe the paint and drink places would be more flexible.

My two bridesmaids are under 21 as well. Luckily, I can't stand bachelorette parties. So we're doing our own paint nite party. A friend of ours owns a cafe and she's letting us have the party there (where my sisters will have non-alcoholic beverages).

Ehh good luck! Bar/restaurant combos are the only things I can think of. Like bar Louie for example.

My closest friend's bachelorette party had a girl that was underage. So my friend just didn't include her. We were just 21 at the time so I didn't realize how rude that was! I'd be really hurt if I couldn't participate. It should be all or nothing.

I had a bm that was 15, the others were 28 and 32. We figured out just fine how to include everyone. If you really want her there, you'd do the same.

Another vote for finding activities that your BM can legally attend. It's common courtesy to someone you supposedly love enough to have in your bridal party.

You would probably have more luck if you aren't trying to find a strip club, LOL. I think in some states you have to be above 21 to go to one.... I could be wrong but I'm pretty sure that's the law in North Carolina. I know where I'm from there are gay clubs that you can go to at 18, but I really don't like the idea of that; gay clubs are a place for gay people to go and be themselves and feel safe, and it's considered really disrespectful to many gay people and at many gay clubs to have them crashed by bachelorette parties. I have many gay and lesbian friends who have shared how offensive this is to them, especially after what happened in Orlando. Not everyone feels this way, but many people do.

Why not have something at home, or in a hotel room? You could always hire a stripper if you wanted one, and you could make up for that cost easily because you would be serving your own drinks.

These things are all out of control, but that's another thread.

Do something in the hotel room, Skip the strippers and bring your own booze.

I didn't read this entire article so I do apologize if it is offensive in any way. I just wanted to show you what I'm talking about and that I'm not just making it up, haha. I you want you can do a quick google search along the lines of "why straight people should not have a bachelorette party at a gay night club" and it comes up with TONS of articles and opinions on it. Not trying to give you a hard time, I'm just sharing because these forums are full of etiquette when it comes to weddings, and I'm assuming most people would also care about etiquette when it comes to there bachelorette party as well, but just may not know these things:

http://gawker.com/5913572/keep-your-bachelorette-party-out-of-my-gay-bar