Under a lot of stress, is it worth it??

You don’t need to spend much — it’s all about budgeting — I would just break it down vendor by vendor need by want and to be honest less is more when it comes to weddings — sometimes simple is more elegant and you don’t need to stress the money party bc there are so many options , DIY, Sales, preowned decor etc, I would focus on your venue, and major vendors then go from there it’s spending on the little things !

Where are you have the having hardest times cutting down costs ? What’s the most important parts of your wedding for you and FH?

View Quoted Comment The most important parts are my photographer (which is expensive) and my food. Everything else I've bought on sale, second hand or tried myself. Our budget is only 5k and we are really hoping to stay under.

View Quoted Comment Did you book your photographer and the rest of your vendors already ?

View Quoted Comment Sort of. I am on their calendar but don't have to pay until closer to time. My ceremony/reception is $200 my photography is $1200 my food is $800 my dj is $1000. My invites are probably coming from Etsy and my cake is $600

View Quoted Comment You can get very inexpensive invites from VistaPrint and AnnesBridalBargain. Vistaprint is always having 50% off sales you can get a photographer for much less on the thumbtack app.

View Quoted Comment I've actually been told she is good prices some people are paying way over what I am. What is a thumbtack app? I appreciate all the help I can get I'm super stressed over this ☹️

Mine is October that year and I’m having the same thoughts I’m pregnant with our second child at a that we want more kids, I’m in grad school, and we want a big home. So I’m starting to question this also.... I’m following this post 😩

There are lots of ways to cut cost if you're flexible. Time of year for vendors (off-season pricing) or a venue a little farther from a city, shopping around for vendors (my DJ is 1/2 the price because his company ran a Black friday sale). I shopped around and compared DIY for my flowers and found a florist cheaper than DIY-ing and she sets it up! It comes down to what the two of you want and how elaborate you want it and how many quotes you get. I like simple, classic looks they always turn out elegantly!

I broke everything down into monthly payments and opened a separate account. Its helped me a lot. Instead of looking at one of my expenses as $1000, its now only $25 each payday. I'd waste that eating out anyhow.

I feel you! We’re getting married in October and are paying for everything ourselves. I created a budget which I felt comfortable with. I had a plan for savings. Now I’m left out of work and an income because the majority of the work I was doing is 1099 - waiting for the State unemployment filing to get updated. So there are a lot of uncertainties at this time. Fortunately my FH is still working very much full time from home, so that helps.


Also I found the invitations I loved in Zazzle and they often have coupon offers.
It sounds to me like you have a modest budget.

In terms of if it's worth it, I would say that no amount of stress that causes anxiety and other medical issues is worth it. However, just because you feel stressed right now, it doesn't mean you'll continue to feel that way through out the planning process. If you change the perspective on this to whatever happens, I'm happy! , you'll enjoy every moment of this. It's like having to keep your eye on the prize and what matters to you the most; the love of your life. I think looking at less of Pinterest and places for ideas after a little while is best because you're going to keep seeing things you want to do that you can't afford, and then it feels sad when you can't make it happen. I'm pretty much done with the planning process, and that's the one thing I realized. I should have stopped looking at ideas when I had already decided on certain things. This way you don't cause more stress on yourself for no reason. Also, there isn't just one dress out there that will make you happy, or that one decor, or whatever else. With a strict budget as well, we found ourselves being super open to changes that we hadn't even thought we would have had to make. It's like... Oh, how much is that? Alright, next item... Perfect, I'll take it! In any case, congrats on your engagement! Enjoy the time, and have fun!

It’s hard, that’s for sure it’s a lot of money and that’s anxiety inducing for sure. Just remember that if it means you’re less stressed for having to compromise on some things then that’s ok! Sometimes it’s not worth getting every single bell and whistle when it’s just gonna cause you more internal harm

View Quoted Comment I agree with you. We don't need all the bells and whistles and we have certainly cut as much as we can. We are only having a couple venues and very few people. It's still hard though between this pandemic and paying our mortgage...

As someone who spent a TON of time, money, energy, and emotions planning a May 2020 wedding that will most likely not happen as planned, my best advice is figure out what is REALLY important to you and your partner and focus on that. Don't get caught up in all the details or about what other people think is important. Weddings do not have to be expensive to be beautiful and special.

We LOVED planning our wedding and it was so much fun and enjoyable for us (yes stressful at times too, but overwhelmingly positive), this of course prior to Covid-19 throwing a wrench in everything we had worked so hard for (now its been stressful to the point of impacting my health, and that's no good). Now I wish we had just opted for something simpler from the start, as I feel like I would be far less heartbroken had I not put so much energy into something that simply isn't going to happen as we planned. We didn't need a whole fancy wedding with 80 guests and a beautiful ceremony site and high end catering, but we planned one, so now having something less feels like a bit of a let down, even if it is still focused on what is really important to us. Of course no one could have predicted that the greatest pandemic in a century would have occurred at the exact same time as our wedding, so our situation is a bit unique and its hard to say what you should or shouldn't do. In the end of the day marrying your person is what matters, but all of the other things do end up being really important if you give them weight and value, and that can become overwhelming and stressful.

Focus on you and your partner, and when you feel stressed out, give yourself time to breathe. As best you can, only allow people into the planning that help calm you and make you feel at ease, and keep anyone who tends tends to impose their opinions on you as far out of the process as you can. The people around you can make things much better or much worse, so choose them wisely. If you have family or friends who need to be involved but they aren't helpful, give them very specific tasks and very clear boundaries, that way they can help but in the least stressful way possible. Only you can decide "what is worth it" to you, and you are your partner are the ones that matter. If you having picture perfect photos of your wedding day matters to you but you don't know the difference between a rose and a tulip, then spend time and money finding the perfect photographer and get your flowers at Costco or skip them entirely. Focus on you and you'll be okay!

We are having a a low key wedding for 160 people with a max of $5000 budget. There are a ton of ways to save money. What we did is decide how much we were willing to spend on a one day party. ($5000)

We went through a crap ton of wedding planner lists and picked out everything that was important to us and crossed off everything we could care less about. We are not formal people so we are having a laid back wedding. We are having a quick ceremony in our favorite park ($75...they said we could just show up and get married without reserving it, but we decided that we wanted to make sure it was our space for the day and that it was mowed and cleaned up so it was worth the money for us).

Our reception is going to be at our county fairgrounds ($400 for the entire weekend Friday through Sunday so we aren't rushing to set up or tear down) instead of a traditional wedding venue (minimum we found was almost $2000 for about 7 hours including setup and tear down.) We are self catering (for all the people clutching their pearls and considering giving me a stern talking to about food safety and the like, don't bother-I used to work with a catering company so I know what I'm doing...)

Several of our friends and family are offering their services (photography, videography, cake, flowers, alterations, music, catering assistance, tables/chairs, sound equipment) as their gift to us so that helps out a lot. (although a bazillion people on here will complain about having people "working" at our wedding...it was their idea....they offered...that's the way our friends and family work...)

Finally...shop around...you can find incredible deals if you are willing to put into the work to find them. We are not willing to start our life together in debt and with our $5000 budget for our 160 guests we are currently not even close to halfway to it and we have the vast majority of the big ticket items taken care of so it can be done.

Good luck!