Undecided RSVPs

It's inevitable- My deadline was Monday and I still have over 68 people to hear from- including family!!! I understand people may have to take time off and make sure they can go or they assume we think they will go but it's still rude!! We made our invitations and to send one was about 5 dollars and we sent out 70 for 150 people. Just write your name and drop it in your mailbox- not that hard.

These people are actually trying to be polite. They are offering an explanation for their delayed (but not yet late) response.

Treat them the same as any other missing rsvp when the time comes. Tell them you understand that _______ but your caterer needs firm numbers. If they are unable to commit you will have to consider them a no and will miss them at the wedding.

The RSVP process struggle is SO real. Our deadline is the 2nd and we are still missing more than 70% of our responses......yay!

I can't remember who said it but there was a suggestion to say something like this, "Hi, _______ we did not receive your RSVP and have to have our final numbers turned into the caterer by ___. Please let us know if you are able to attend by ___ or we will unfortunately have to mark you as a no."

Thanks for some wording! I didn't want to sound like a bridezilla but I wanted to convey that I do need a final count.

"Hi xxx, we have to have our final numbers into the venue by xxx. Please let us know your final decision by xxx, otherwise unfortunately we will have to count you as a no. We hope you can make it!"

Can you elicit the help of your bridesmaid/maid of honor to help you with this? Help relieve some of the stress on you and let them be the time line enforcers. :-)

I really want to add the "chair and a sandwich" line on my website - actually I just might after the deadline has passed. I like how they are giving you a reason but it's not exactly something you can tell your caterer.

I feel your pain. Like, how can we make this easier for them?!?!?! Pre-addressed, pre-stamped. Figure it out. #getyourshittogethercarol

My FH is great about helping me figure these things out but he is also frustrated! Most of our guests have known our date for over a year now and we sent STDs 6 months ago as a reminder. There is no reason you cannot respond! I had another person ask if they really have to send it back or if they can just tell me. Why go to the extra bother of asking if they have to return it, instead of just putting the thing in the mailbox! or use the online option!!! Come on people!

ETA: I will say, I am thankful that these guests gave me a reason why they didn't have a final number, but it is still a #getittogether moment...

My deadline is Friday, I have 120 people on my guest list and until 2 days ago I only had 20 RSVP!! I text everyone that I have not heard from yet and said I hoped they received my invite and can make it, can you please RSVP this week!!

We had a couple of these. They had legit reasons. We extended the deadline for them, since it was only 3 couples, until 2 days before our caterer needed the final numbers. If they still didn't know at that point, we told them we would have to count them as a decline.

Don't reach out to guests until after the deadline has passed. Wait 1-2 days after and if you still don't have a response, give them a call and say "Hi! We still haven't received your RSVP for the wedding and would like to know if you are planning on attending! Please let me know by {whatever date before your final count is due] or unfortunately we will mark you as a decline. Hope you can make it!"

Keep in mind things do get lost in the mail, but most of the time people just procrastinate. DH's dad's side was the worst at this, I had to have FIL call up some people to figure out if they could come or not.

I would take what o have and if those ppl have not gotten it together by then. I would remins them and if no responseo would move on.

My deadline is Friday as well. We have received 70% back. We decided that we are not chasing anyone for rsvp. I have to order our place cards and as much as I want everyone there, I refuse to beg. Not trying to be rude but it is rude and inconsiderate. It's not like they will need to pay to send it back. I understand if they are unable to come but Jesus, just let me know.

We just texted everyone to check in after the date, same with people who were unclear. My family is Israeli, and the notion of RSVP is not a thing there, but people totally understood that we needed an answer.

I'm in the same boat and with same RSVP due date. I purposely set my RSVP a little early to accommodate anyone who was still on the fence close to the due date. Some of the people I even saw this weekend at my bachelorette party and they said they're coming, so I'll just go ahead and mark them as a yes. C'mon people! Not hard to return the card.

@Esperanza things get lost in the mail and sometimes people lose the cards. Hopefully those extra people dont show up at your wedding and you have to find a new table and pay for 10 more meals.

Honestly, just be up front! Inform them that you have a deadline given to you by your caterer and rental company and that you can not make changes after that deadline. Ask them to please make a decision so that you can have accommodations prepared for them or not on your wedding date. Make it seem all about them and how you want to make sure they are taken care of lol that way you don't come off pushy. That should make them decide!

Xoxo

I gave them an extra week and then texted again saying "since I haven't heard from you I'm going to assume you aren't coming, we'll miss you!" End of convo

@Esperanza - that is a foolish decision. What do you plan to do if those 30% all show up?

You don't have to beg. You just contact them and say you need a firm yes or no or will miss them at the wedding.