Unconventional

I walked by myself down the aisle. That's another typically non traditional thing

I love unconventional ideas. You will have so much more fun in the planning process.
I love the blessing idea and fireworks plan.
Our only bridal party will be two of our closest adult male friends tossing metallic confetti in place of flower girls.And our reception is going to be a Murder Mystery dinner kind of a James Band theme.
Also I’m not wearing a wedding dress more of a formal party dress. I guess I’m not really a traditionalist.haha

These are all great ideas to switch things up (love grandmothers as flower girls!)... except the cell phone check-in station. Your wedding isn't a huge movie premiere you need to keep under lock and key, and taking away adults' cell phones is crazy extreme. Please don't require guests to physically store them away. You can have a sign that announces an unplugged ceremony and have your officiant say something at the start of the ceremony, but taking away people's phones is uncalled for. You may have some people try and take pictures, but ultimately, the sign and the announcement should significantly decrease that number.

Additionally, you're saying "best friend holding the ring and another friend holding the bouquet," which is essentially having a bridal party. Are you distinguishing them into different categories because you're opting out of pre-wedding celebrations? Or because they're not necessarily standing up next to you during the whole ceremony?

We had a swordfight break out at the beginning of the reception.

Tons of fun, represented us as a couple, AND our friend group... huge hit, made the night.

View Quoted Comment I’ve been in so many weddings and the amount of money it takes to be a bridesmaid is outrageous. Plus there is always hurt feelings or cat fights and I don’t want to deal with it. I just want people to show up and celebrate our love. incorporating guests into our ceremony is a way to make them feel special without going overboard.

I don't have a bridal party. Hired a food truck for my food vendor, board games instead of dancing (it's much more representative of who we are as a couple), no first dance, my dog is carrying our rings and vows to each other. I'm walking down the isle by myself... um... I'm having cupcakes instead of cake. (This one is becoming popular though so not sure it counts.) I'm also not doing any of the traditional "getting married" parties. No engagement, bachlorette, etc.

None of this is really that unconventional except asking your adult guests to physically give up their phones to attend your ceremony, and honestly, that's more rude than unconventional.

View Quoted Comment I am loving all the feedback, thanks y’all!


I’m interested is to why some of you find a cell phone check in rude? I wouldn’t forcefully take phones, that would be extreme. I have been several “unplugged” weddings where it was announced via save the date, invitation, website, along signage around the venue. Every time, someone has ignored this request, ultimately upsetting the couple.
I don’t understand why guests can’t be in the moment and put their phone away for 30 minutes. 🤷🏼‍♀️

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They can put their phone away, but it doesn't need to be taken from them. There's a huge difference between "please turn off your phones for the ceremony" and "you must give your phone to this stranger/lock it in a box to attend."

My FH's brother did a destination wedding in Mexico, got hitched on the beach at sunrise. Absolutely beautiful.

We're walking down the aisle together. We're having a Bubble Boy instead of a Flower Girl (he will have a bubble gun blaster). We're having a Warming of the Rings, which is where the rings will be passed to everyone in attendance to warm with their hands, bless, and think good thoughts while holding them.

As for cell phones, I agree taking them is weird. People really don't like to be without them. It's the age we live in. It's true an emergency may not come up in the 30 minutes or so that the ceremony is happening, but it could happen. When my parents were married, right in the middle of the ceremony, the church received an emergency call and my aunt and uncle went running out. It turned out their oldest girl had been in a horrible accident (she lost her memory, had to learn to walk, talk and eat again, etc.). Luckily they were able to reach them at the church because this was wayyyy before cell phones. Now I'm not saying this will happen to anyone else, just that things do happen. It's part of the reason why people can't seem to be without their phones for more than a few minutes.

Our officiant will make an announcement to remind people to silence their phones and to also put them away as the photographer will be there to help preserve the memory. I think people will respect an announcement more than a sign. I hope so anyway!

View Quoted Comment I can put away my phone for 30 minutes but to hand it over is frankly a liability and security concern. I really don’t want my expensive object loaded with personal info in a pile with a bunch of other peoples’ almost identical objects filled with personal info. That alone is my greatest concern and why I am super uncomfortable with the idea and wouldn’t want to do it.


The rudeness factor comes in because it is very directly communicating with your guests that you don’t trust them (to follow instruction). It may well be the case that you don’t, and maybe especially not a few particular individuals, but sending that message to the group is off putting, especially to all the responsible considerate guests that wouldn’t dream of taking out their phones— to them it ends up feeling punitive. You can post the info everywhere and even have your officiant announce it before the ceremony. If one or two people disrespect all the requests, it shouldn’t be something you let ruin your day. I have no clue what my guests were doing during my ceremony because I was fully in that moment. It’s on everyone individually to be present, including yourselves. If it’s a major concern, over having someone take all the phones, I’d have someone present to stop people if they started doing it— a photographer/assistant/doc who can tap the individual offender on the shoulder to put the phone away , that way you’re only calling out those who are actively disregarding your request, rather than putting the whole crew in a situation where they’re uncomfortable (letting go of the phone that they would’ve tucked into a bag and left alone anyway)

View Quoted Comment I love the bubble boy and the bubble gun! This is so fun!

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All of this^

We did our wedding all out of traditional order. We did cocktail / cigars and whiskey (with a cigar roller) along with an acoustic singer for 2 hours before our ceremony. That gave everyone time to chat, get there for those who are habitually late, and us to mingle with our guests. We had two food trucks going as well. Then we did the ceremony (everything was done at one venue but spread all out at the venue). Then we partied for another 4 hours. We let everyone know the order of events so that if they didn't want to come to Cigars/whiskey & cocktail hours they didn't need to. EVERYONE came

We also ditched a lot of the traditional wedding things. We had no flower girl, ring bearer or bridal party but did ask my cousin and his dad to be our honorary MOH and BM. It was just a way or making them feel extra special and to let them know how much we loved them, appreciated their support etc but they had no responsibilities, special attire or any duties. My mom held my bouquet, we held each others rings. We wrote our own vows and our own ceremony script. I walked myself down the aisle. Our ceremony was also UNPLUGGED which I highly recommend and everyone respected our wishes and just put them away. We didn't have a rehearsal or a dinner, no engagement party, no send off, no dances, speeches, toasts, garter toss, bouquet toss etc. We ended up renting a house close to the venue for us and some of our out of town guests to stay in the night before and night after so we completely killed all typical night before/night after wedding tradition there lol. This was both our 2nd marriage and all that traditional stuff was things we could have cared less about so we did our wedding our way and it was absolutely amazing!

Fireworks would be so cool!

My dress is lavender and my bridesmaids are the ones wearing ivory. It's in a library. No kids, flower children or ring bearers, bouquet toss or (ick) garter toss...but I think the rest of mine is pretty traditional. Our ceremony music is instrumental covers of 90s rock songs, and with a couple of exceptions, the reception music is from years ****. Plus we have to have some Zeppelin in there 😁

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I agree. We went to three weddings last year, with the couples in age from 30/32, 40/55 and 65/79 and cell phones were not an issue. No one recorded anything. I am pretty chill but if someone told me to put my phone in a locker I would refuse. Just announce to please turn off cell phones - you will be fine. FYI - One of my favorite gifts was a picture taken of me and hubby kissing to seal the deal from my cousin's cell phone after we asked people not to. So ya never know......

No attendants will save you a ton of money and many many headaches.

We did a few unconventional things:

1. I only had 2 bridesmaids but I had 6 other "friends of honor" who all wore the same color scheme, took photos with us, and spent the morning getting ready together. they got to experience all the fun of being a bridesmaid and got to feel special without any of the commitment. I also didn't have a bachelorette party; I didn't want my bridesmaids spending money on me. I bought my bridesmaids' dresses for them as well.

2. we had a dry wedding.

3. we didn't have a DJ -- just a Spotify playlist that we hired our friend's teenage daughter to manage.

4. my husband and I did our bridal portraits the day after our wedding so we were able to join our wedding reception sooner and not make everyone wait for hours.

5. we did NOT have an "unplugged" ceremony. I really, truly did not care what people chose to do with their cell phones. I'm so glad we didn't ban phones, because unbeknownst to us until later, my husband's uncle was able to FaceTime his grandmother who wasn't able to travel to our wedding, so she still got to see the ceremony. I'm not a huge fan of the idea of taking people's phones away from them. we didn't have any issues with people's phones getting in the way. in fact, one of my favorite photos from the entire day is one a friend randomly snapped as we were pronounced husband and wife! personally, I'd be super annoyed if I was forced to "check in" my phone at someone's wedding. I don't even remember what anyone else was doing during our ceremony because I was focused on the moment. I promise it won't ruin your day if one person takes their phone out to snap a photo. hopefully you wouldn't even notice because you will be 100% focused on your new spouse

View Quoted Comment I appreciate all the feedback.


Our plan has always been for the officiant to make an announcement but seeing what other ideas were out there. It’s pretty clear that this was a bad one 😂