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Amanda
Dedicated June 2021

Uncertainty if your wedding can happen, advice on how to not stress?

Amanda, on June 26, 2020 at 11:08 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 16
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Hello brides to be,


Sorry if this is a little bit of rant, but I just wanted to know if anyone is feeling the stress of wondering if your wedding can even happen. I understand how bad the pandemic has affected the world and it is very sad, so please don't think I am making light of it. However we have already postponed our wedding once, our bridal shower 4 times (which can finally happen outdoors next weekend!), and cancelled our bachelor/bachelorette parties. I am beyond caring about all those other little things at this point, but the uncertainty of wondering if our wedding can happen this August is really starting to get to me. Things have gotten much better here in MA but our governor is opening VERY slowly and constantly pushing back phases even though the numbers are really good. I am basically just waiting around for our venue to cancel me at this point. I am up and down with emotions because one day I am picking up my dress from final alterations, and the next day I am basically being told my wedding may not happen at all this year. Does anyone else relate to this? Please share your thoughts and tips on how to cope!


Wishing everyone the best!



16 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on June 26, 2020 at 2:49 PM
  • Jessica
    Rockstar September 2020
    Jessica ·
    • Flag
    Hey Amanda,
    This situation is definitely stressful. We have the go ahead for our September wedding with fifty or less, but the past few months were all over the place. Look at the slow reopening as a good thing, all you have to do is look at how some other states have handled things to see it could be much worse.
    I’m really just trying to stay positive, planning as if nothing will go wrong. Our numbers in CO are looking good too, but we have a few places that are seeing rises and I’m really worried about summer tourism. I hope your August wedding can go on as planned. Take care of yourself and when you’re feeling over stressed step away from it all. Good luck!
    • Reply
  • Kimberly
    Expert October 2020
    Kimberly ·
    • Flag
    I feel this every single day. It is a struggle, some days I am good and optimistic everything will work out for October wedding, then other days I’m up all night thinking about all the what if’s and unknowns about how to reduce our wedding and ensure safety of everyone. I think it is doable, especially if we reduce the number of people and the large size of our venue should do well with social distancing. Having a plan B, C, D figured out has helped me cope with all this.


    I recently read on one of the Here Comes the Guide articles something that helped me and I hope it helps you too. “Whenever you’re feeling overwhelmed, we want to you take a deep breath and repeat this mantra: everything is figureoutable. This moment in time won’t last forever. We will get through it. We will come out stronger. And we will tell our grandkids about that crazy, character-defining time we were all quarantined.”
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda Online ·
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    Hello, thank you for the encouraging words! I am so happy you get to have your big day!!! You are right about the slow reopening as I never really thought of it that way. Congrats and best of luck!
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda Online ·
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    Yes you are so right! One day I’m excited and the next day I am upset and feel anxious. I agree there are definitely ways to keep friends and family safe, we are using sanitizers as our favors at every seat and are trying to keep families together. I do have a back up plan as well for next year but we have already waited 2.5 years for our day. Praying your day works out! Best of luck and thank you!!!
    • Reply
  • Kelsey
    VIP September 2020
    Kelsey ·
    • Flag

    Yes I totally feel this. We are still going ahead with our wedding in September, in Wisconsin. We haven't had any new cases in my county in 2 weeks so that's good. Our venue has precautions in place. But I just spoke to someone at my office that his daughter's wedding they decided to postpone till next year. That made me feel bad, but at the same time they may have different circumstances compared to us. I just know that we are doing the right thing for us.

    • Reply
  • Kayse
    Expert December 2020
    Kayse ·
    • Flag

    I know how you feel! One day I'm excited and the next I'm worried. Our state has done relatively well, but many people are traveling to places where there are huge spikes and causing outbreaks here, I'm worried about a second lock-down if hospital capacity is threatened. As a teacher, I also can't help but think that I will definitely be exposed to COVID-19 if we go back to school before there is a vaccine, and I don't want to put my friends and family at risk. It's all just a lot. Honestly I try not to think about it too much because I have no control over it. Best wishes to you!

    • Reply
  • Angel
    Expert August 2020
    Angel ·
    • Flag

    I very much relate to this. We had been holding out so much hope, but at the end of the day I knew it would be postponed. So, our invitations were ordered, dress is altered, everything purchased, and the day we were due to send out our invites - I was told we'd have to postpone. There's no "coping" with something like this, and no way to not be stressed. Especially, if you're just like me and hoping things will go as planned, even if you know deep down they won't. But how I see it is, I was getting worried myself having a celebration (with only 50 people) because I would HATE myself if anyone got sick because I was selfish enough to get married during a pandemic. It's super unfortunate. I'm in SoCal, so the cases I'm sure are worse, and we opened up too soon so the numbers are shooting back up. Personally, I would postpone. Nothing sucks more than everything crashing down less than 2 months before your wedding and having to postpone everything. BUT you'll still have your wedding, you know? Best wishes!!

    • Reply
  • Sarah
    Expert August 2020
    Sarah ·
    • Flag
    I am also getting married 8/2. Have also rescheduled shower 4x However in Maryland we are now allowed fo have weddings, we can go at 50% venue capacity which is 120 and does if for me!
    • Reply
  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry you are going through this. Also know its 100% normal to feel totally stressed and heartbroken about Covid impacting your wedding - just because other people are also dealing with struggles that may seem more significant doesn't mean you don't get to feel sincere grief about how it is impacting a huge, important, once in a lifetime celebration for you and your partner.

    I'm in New Hampshire and we ended up eloping on our original date (May 30, 2020) when gatherings were still limited to just 10 people, hotels were closed, restaurants had just reopened for outdoor seating, etc. Leading up to that, I was absolutely distraught and distressed for 2 1/2 months. We postponed our big wedding to June 2021 but at the last minute decided to elope because my mom was diagnosed with cancer just 10 days before our original date. Every day from mid-March to the day we married was stressful. I cried a ton. I felt so heartbroken and crushed. I'm glad we eloped only because the stress was so unbearable that I don't think I could take waiting longer and just not knowing when things would get better, and honestly it feels AMAZING to be husband and wife. Our elopement was not what we hoped it would be - it was stressful, rushed, thrown together, and not very romantic - but there were some beautiful and sweet moments tucked in there and given the horrible circumstances it was the right choice for us.

    I will say that the northeast is doing a very good job of controlling and limiting coronavirus outbreaks for the time being. If most of your guests are local, your wedding isn't too big, and your family and guests are generally healthy and not particularly vulnerable, I think possible you could have your wedding in August. There would likely still be some precautions in place (perhaps masks for at least some, more social distancing, less dancing, fewer hugs, more hand sanitizer) but it's possible a small group of people could gather and do something that looks mostly like a traditional wedding celebration. However if you have a really large guest list and a number of people traveling, or you have family and guests who are older or immunocompromised, I think it's unlikely that you'll be able to have an event without bigger modifications. So it kind of just depends.

    I think you need to consider what is most important to you about your wedding and what will make it feel like a celebration to you. Plenty of brides on her have modified their wedding plans due to Covid and still say their day was amazing and everything they wanted it to be (check out the "Married Life" forum). From my my perspective, it was really sad to do our elopement and not be able to hug our parents or interact closely with our friends who came. It felt anticlimactic, awkward, and nothing like a celebration. There were people we really wanted there that couldn't be.
    Perhaps if the people who were there were less overly cautious and more relaxed and we could have had just a slightly more inclusive and complete group of our loved ones, it would have felt more like a wedding, but it just didn't. I would not wish that upon anyone on their wedding day. I'm still glad we did it though, but again, it was the best we could do under really awful circumstances.

    I wish you the best of luck with whatever happens. Just know it's okay to be grieving the loss (or worry of the loss) of your wedding right now. Also, if you feel like you are particularly struggling to cope with all of the emotions and uncertainty I would not hesitate to recommend speaking with a counselor or therapist. This is just a tremendously awful and difficult time.

    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda Online ·
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    Omg Thats how I feel! Everyone around us has postponed and it makes me feel like I’m doing something wrong! Best of luck to you guys!!
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda Online ·
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    Yes it’s up and down emotions! It’s seriously is stressful! Best of luck to you as well!!!
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda Online ·
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    Yes I agree completely! It’s crazy times and it’s so hard to think about postponing something you’ve waited for but I am glad you feel the same way and can relate lol. Best wishes to you too!
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda Online ·
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    Omg yay!!! That’s so exciting! We’re supposed to hear next week what is allowed so praying I’ll be in the same boy. Good luck and congrats on your big day!
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda Online ·
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    Thank you for your kind word, I do sometimes feel guilty because people are going through much worse than me. I am so sorry to hear about your mom and I am glad you go to have your special day. I agree with everything you said, and am so glad someone can relate to the stress I’ve been feeling for two months now. If everything doesn’t work out to plan I will just postpone knowing my day will come. Best of luck to y97 and congrats!!!
    • Reply
  • C
    Savvy September 2020
    Cristina ·
    • Flag
    I feel this every day, you’re not alone. We were supposed to get married in May and had to postpone to September. Bridal shower, bachelor/ettes, wedding and honeymoon all cancelled/postponed. Hoping and praying that this new date works out. We’re invited to two other weddings right after in October that haven’t moved either, so that makes me feel a little better haha. I’m trying not to think about the “what if’s” and move forward as if it’s happening and trying to go with the flow, since so much is out of our control. Having a plan B or C can be a little comforting as well. Best of luck with everything!
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  • Amanda
    Dedicated June 2021
    Amanda Online ·
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    Lol thank you for this! EVERYONE i know moved their wedding so I am feeling prettty lonely over here. Not to mention everyone looks at me like i am crazy when i say i haven't moved it yet. I hope it all works out for you!!!

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