Jameson
Dedicated June 2017

Typical Elopement backlash to be expected... but SON OF A BEEE

Jameson, on September 9, 2016 at 10:54 PM Posted in Planning 0 10
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My fiance and I are eloping. Heading off to Vegas next June (planning for that based on work/vacation schedules) and starting to hear the back-and-forth from the parents and FMIL b/c we foolishly told them our plans. "We're so excited for you, that's so smart!" vs. "I mean, can't you just do a cheap, golf course wedding for like $5000? It won't cost that much for 100 people, right? It's not just about you! It's about that family as well!"

I love my family and future family and know I should expect some backlash from this but DEAR LORD am I already tired of it lol. Any other elopement buddies out there experiencing the same thing? Edit: our parents and siblings have been invited, its considered an intimate/elopement style wedding but they want something bigger.

10 Comments

Latest activity by Priscilla, on September 10, 2016 at 12:26 AM
  • WeddingBelle
    Expert September 2017
    WeddingBelle ·
    • Flag

    Honestly I wouldn't have said anything so soon. Or at all. The point of an elopement is secretly running off to get married.

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  • Mrs. Sasswood
    Master October 2016
    Mrs. Sasswood ·
    • Flag

    Imagine the backlash if you didn't tell them beforehand lol.

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  • Jameson
    Dedicated June 2017
    Jameson ·
    • Flag

    @weddingbelle we've gone back and forth for quite some time now. We got engaged back in December and have finally decided on what to do with continuous questioning from the parentals. I totally get you though and have accepted my fate lol

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  • NowASeptMrs
    Master September 2015
    NowASeptMrs ·
    • Flag

    Elopement is typically running off without much notice to get married. Letting people know ahead of time is not the point. If you wanted to tell people then I'd suggest a small 20 person wedding to include them. All you're saying right now is "were getting married on 6/5 and oh you're not invited"

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  • Jameson
    Dedicated June 2017
    Jameson ·
    • Flag

    @windowschick THANK YOU.

    • Reply
  • Natasha
    VIP January 2017
    Natasha ·
    • Flag

    I wouldn't of told them a thing!

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  • A Bride
    Super August 2016
    A Bride ·
    • Flag

    Isn't it insane and annoying when people want something bigger, but they want you to be the one paying 75k for the most extravagant family reunion of all time with everyone from your church and all your neighbors and their dogs and every person who ever invited your great aunt's daughter to their wedding?

    No pay no say is seriously the best thing ever. You don't have to listen to anyone! Stand strong and say No! We had the same situation with DH's mother. But we didn't have to do anything she wanted or invite any of her friends or listen to any of her bullshit. We were the ones paying for it and we don't hear you offering soo..... we'll just stick to the 5k wedding we can afford and worked very hard to save for.

    We just got married last month and the small, intimate wedding we had was exactly what we wanted and was the best decision we could have made.

    ETA: I forgot to include the kicker! MIL favors her daughter over her son to the most ridiculous extreme I have ever seen. She literally throws millions (I'm not joking, millions) at her daughter and could give a shit about DH. Then has the gall to turn her nose up at how we can't afford nice things and are struggling just to get by. So SIL had the most extravagant, no expense spared, best of the best wedding all paid for by dear mumsy; then MIL is appalled and can't understand why we can't also afford to host a lavish wedding for 300 people.

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  • BecomingKrueger
    Master March 2017
    BecomingKrueger ·
    • Flag

    Oh man. We are eloping in Jamaica next year. There was so much drama before that we decided that only the two of us are going and we are not inviting any guests, including parents. FMIL has been sending me passive aggressive texts/emails since she found out.

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  • Waychox3
    Master September 2016
    Waychox3 ·
    • Flag

    DH wanted to elope, I wanted the wedding for my family's sake. I loved our wedding but looking at things now I can't help but wonder what it would've been like if we had done it his way. When we were discussing the wedding and he brought up eloping I told him if we had a reception afterwards in which everyone knew we eloped I was ok with it. At that point he said let's do the big wedding. Is that maybe an option for you? Have you checked all of the possible venues around us? At the end of the day it's what you two want and what makes you happy.

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  • P
    Savvy September 2026
    Priscilla ·
    • Flag

    Society contradicts itself saying the wedding is all about the bride but then moves on to the comercilized bs about wedding parties. Breaking your bank or going into debt over a wedding is not what you want to happen to a loved one, so don't do it to your self. If people are irratated by there being no wedding they can get togather and throw you one out of their own pokect. Small parties are nicer anyways Smiley smile and you can spend more time with the bride and groom. If the weddings are big i just watch, grab some food and leave.

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