Two Weddings

I’m so sorry you are dealing with that. That must be so hard for you both. Well for you all! I think that would be good idea! Or even maybe just keep them apart as much as you can and have it all together - I mean it all depends on how difficult the situation is and from what you said it doesn’t sound like that’s an option.. I think what you said would be the best plan

I’m sure this could work, but you shouldn’t have to do it. Your parents, both sets of them, should be able to put their differences aside for their children. They don’t have to like each other or even acknowledge the other’s existence, but they can act like adults and sit in the same room.

I agree with Caytlyn. They are adults and should be able deal with each other for their children's sike. If they don't want to deal with each other that's their problem. Personally, I would plan one wedding and invite all of them rather than enabling them to act like spoiled children.

My fiancé’s dad isn’t coming to our wedding because of his mom. I hate that, but we’re independent adults and we’re not going to let them stop us from living our lives.

I agree with your idea of having separate celebrations for each family. Yes they are adults, and yes I’m sure they could tolerate being in the same room with one another for an evening... But is that really the atmosphere you want for your big day? A wedding should be a celebration, not a source of stress for the bride and groom. If you think having them in the same room with each other would cause you and your fiancé to worry about their interactions with one another, or about a potentially negative vibe, then why put yourselves through that? I think if you have two separate celebrations, you (and your families/guests) Will be able to relax and truly enjoy the evening without any potential tension.

I agree with PP. do not allow their childish behavior to ruin your big day. Have what you want and invite them all. If none of them show up then enjoy your day with other family and friends. I’d they can’t put aside their differences for one day for their kids then I’m not sure I would care if they came. Remember this is about YOU and your FH not them!! I would not do two events to make them happy but that’s just me. Good luck.

Have the wedding you want, invite who you want and whoever acts like an adult and attends is what happens. You shouldn’t have to have two separate events because of this.

View Quoted Comment I agree with this.

I think this is a very interesting situation that you are being faced with and it's always disappointing when the parents are adding more stress to the wedding. While I think that your idea of two separate celebrations could work out very well, I'd be curious if you'd be setting any precedent for the future i.e. 2 separate birthday parties for your kid for each side of the family, etc.

Maybe it's time to sit down the sets of parents individually and explain how much it would mean to you to have them there throughout your big day. I'd hope that adults would be able to be civil and set aside their differences for the sake of their children but of course, that doesn't always happen. Best of luck!

We did have conversations with our parents about doing a ceremony together. My parents decided that they would not attend a wedding if his parents were there. My FH parents said that they would be there and behave but right after stating that they had a breakdown and ripped me apart and my parents apart so I don’t trust that everything will go smoothly having them in the same room right now. We have talked about the future and it is scary and irritating because we don’t want two birthday parties for our kids and I’m assuming that after giving birth the last thing I’d want to do is make sure our parents are rotating being at the hospital. We don’t want our parents to miss out on anything but in the future they may have to if they can’t get over it by then. I do just want our wedding day to be relaxing and enjoyable and I know he wants to celebrate with his family and I want to celebrate with mine but it has all turned into a nightmare to deal with.