Two separate bridal showers and two bachelorette party :/ and a little rant

Sooo.... I have 6 bridalmaids, two of them are my soon to be sisters in law. My maid of honor was the first one to plan my bridal shower and has sent out evites to some of my guests late of May I believe. From my in laws, none of them has responded to them yet (though my in law family don't do RSVP, but my mother in law said she would be coming but there's a second part to this comment/story). Like a month ago my soon to be sister in law said they wanted to throw me a separate shower so that they can invite their aunts and cousins (The shower that my maid of honor is throwing me, I only invited my side of the family and my soon to be in laws only because it will be taking place in my yard, so I'm limited to space.) I was a little hesitant about it but said okay. What I don't want to happen is tension between my bridesmaid before 1) they even meet each other 2) before the wedding. One of my bridesmaids was supposed to be in charge of my Bachelorette party but didn't have a way of contacting all of the girls and when I told her about the one my in laws are throwing she got upset because no invite was sent to the rest of the bridesmaids and doesn't believe it should be called a "bachelorette party" if the remaining 4 bridesmaid aren't present; that it's more of gathering if anything she says. I feel guilty because I could of started a group chat since the beginning to possibly avoided this situation. Sorry for the long message but I'm just stuck on what to do and also because I'm still someone who needs to work on speaking up for themselves. The bridesmaid that was upset about this reminded me that it's my day. Also for the comment my mother in law said, not sure which of my sister in laws said this but it was said that one of the sisters didn't understand why my mother in law would still go to my first bridal shower if they were going to be throwing me one. My mother in law said she was going because she was already invited and to be respectful. Okay done ranting, again for the long text I just really need to le this out 😔😣☹️