My fiance and I are getting married in about 4 months and I'm late! We have family flying in, paying for lodging, and many deposits that cannot be refunded. I don't know what to do! I'm so scared to tell him. We already had a pregnancy that ended in miscarriage and it was hard on us. Hard on him, being in recovery, hard on us because of my emotional state for the months to follow. We have been through so much... all I wanted was to have one last bash with my friends, a nice wedding with our families, a fun honeymoon, and then work on building our life together. I have been in counseling this year because I have had so much stress with my career, loss, and wedding planning. I have been working so hard on our relationship because I want him to know I can be happy and healthy and I want him to feel the same. He's already so worried about how we are going to pay for the wedding and holding himself to high standards with providing a home and saving money for our future kids to go to college.
Option 1: Modify pre-wedding events to work for a pregnant person. Tell his religious family about us expecting, because I doubt I can hide it. Get married at 21 weeks pregnant. Honeymoon unlikely. Baby in February. Try to figure out a new less stressful career in the meantime. He hopes to put in for a job transfer and relocation in February as well.
Option 2: Try to cancel or rearrange our wedding dates. Lose money, make other people lose money, waste people's time. Start preparing for a baby in February.
Option 3: Do not proceed with pregnancy.. tell my future husband and he may not look at me the same way or he might be relieved. It could ruin our relationship... it could cause him grief. He may not heal, he might start drinking again. It will cost a lot of money. If I don't tell him, I save him the grief, lose my support, and start our marriage with a lie.
Any other options? What would you guys do? I am sorry if anybody takes offense, I am just seriously at a loss right now and have no idea who to talk to or what to do next. Any compassionate advice is helpful. I can't take it back!
