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Just Said Yes August 2022

Two Months Away And i Want To Cancel

Julia, on June 9, 2022 at 1:32 PM Posted in Planning 2 9

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My fiancé and I got engaged this last December and we’re getting married in August… in 2 months! I’m beyond stressed out to the point that I don’t want to have this wedding. I’ve said before we got engaged that we should just elope.

Our venue is free (church), my sisters are covering the catering, we haven’t purchased flowers yet, mainly because I don’t like ANYTHING I look for. I have no direction with a color scheme. I have a “champagne/peach” undertone dress, my fiancé picked out a charcoal blue suit. My bridesmaids have no idea what color dress to get and I unfortunately regret having so many bridesmaids (i chose 6 and my fiancé has 2 groomsmen). I absolutely HATE the peach and blue wedding color combo.. I’m just at a loss for words. We haven’t even sent out save the date cards or wedding invites. We’ve not gotten our wedding bands or talked about vows. There hasn’t been a single step in this entire process that I have enjoyed. I don’t know what to do.
Prior to dress shopping I wanted to just shop alone and pick out a dress that I liked without hearing everyone else’s opinion, my mother made me feel bad about not having a group go with so once I extended that invite, she refused to go, as well as to my bridal shower as well. I hope none of this makes me sound like such an unhappy person, I just genuinely don’t want to do this anymore. I keep hearing from people “oh planning is the worst part, everyone always gets stressed out” but I don’t feel like I’m truly being heard when I’m telling people I don’t want to have a wedding anymore.
To add to the rant, we’re also getting married out of state.. so now I’m juggling travel plans from our state to the state we’ll be married in, to traveling back home and leaving again for a honeymoon.
Is any of this actually possibly to accomplish in our timeframe? Will it actually get better than this, will I still regret everything afterwards? The last thing I want is to go through with this and look back on photos and just look absolutely miserable my entire day.

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9 Comments

Latest activity by ti, on June 10, 2022 at 10:12 AM

Master July 2022
Imani · on June 9, 2022 at 1:57 PM
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Julia, I hate to hear that you’re going through this as it’s supposed to be the time of your life and you should be happy. In all honesty, if you want to elope, I’d say go for it. Especially with your wedding being two months out and you’re still having to make travel plans. It might give you a peace of mind to do your wedding how you want it without all the extra stress/drama. I hope it works out for you.
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Devoted October 2022
Brittany · on June 9, 2022 at 2:24 PM
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I'm sorry you're going through this. I would have an open and honest conversation with your fiancé and let them know how you feel. My guess is that you still want to get married, just not have the stressful wedding. It's not too late to elope or have a courthouse wedding/private ceremony/something that is more what you want to celebrate your commitment. I wish you all the best!
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VIP August 2021
Michelle · on June 9, 2022 at 2:40 PM
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I agree with the others for you to talk to your fiance about your wedding vision and timeframe. Normally, I'd suggest a wedding planner, to help you organize. But, this may not be what you really want with much left undecided. Best wishes with getting married your way.
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Devoted June 2022
PermaGrin · on June 9, 2022 at 3:19 PM
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I would elope - that is a lot to accomplish in 2 months - it makes me think perhaps you really do not want the wedding? (not the marriage mind you - I am referring only to the wedding!) .
That was my experience in life events/parties- if I hadn't planned it - it was usually because i didn't want to do it.
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Beginner August 2022
N/A · on June 9, 2022 at 3:53 PM
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First off congrats on your engagement! My fiancé and I also got engaged in December and are having an august wedding. Both my fiancé and I went through the “do we really want this venue, food, flowers, etc” phase just recently actually but we’re paying for everything ourselves and already paid a ton of deposits so for us we would be losing more money if we changed up our plans. And we sat down and talked about everything & started to get excited again. Most of ours is planned out and ready to go. I would stress ALOT if we only had 2 months to do everything. But it sounds like your plans haven’t been able to be exactly what you want. I would 100% elope if that’s what the two of you want. This marriage is about you & your fiancé’s love for each other. ❤️
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VIP October 2022
Mrs.evans · on June 9, 2022 at 4:31 PM
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Hi first Congratulations to you both on your engagement. And I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way this is supposed to be happy times for a bride to be. Now since you have done nothing and you have literally a month and 3 weeks. To send out invitations and that I believe that you just have gotten overwhelmed with it all. But I have seen a wedding to get pulled together in a short time before and it was beautiful. No never knew that tho lol lol. You have your mom in 1 ear and then dealing with the friends that you asked to be bridesmaids. If you still wanted to elope then that what you can do. And still have your reception then you get back and use this time. And send out thank you and reception invitations since your sister is taking care of the food and can use the venue that you were using anyway just for a great party. And talk with your friends about how your feeling and they can still just wear a cocktail dress. Without all of the choosing a bridesmaids dresses and you can give send them a gift. Maybe that you still can have a bridal shower dinner or party with your friends. And he can have his guys a night to hang out. My fiancee had said the same thing but I talk him into it. Sweetheart go get married and then come back and have your reception wedding dress and him in his suit still incorporate your friends
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NewEnglandSettler · on June 9, 2022 at 5:04 PM
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Unless there’s $$ people will lose on already purchased airfare/hotels - cut bait now. Reimburse anyone else who has purchased anything directly bought for the wedding and call it.

The way the economy is right now - you’ll be making a lot of people’s day by deciding to do what you wanted to do in the first place and have the wedding of your choosing. Good luck!
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Champion November 2054
Jacks · on June 9, 2022 at 5:36 PM
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Doesn't sound like you want this wedding. I would look at that, and decide/do what you really want vs what other people want.
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Dedicated July 2017
ti · on June 10, 2022 at 10:12 AM
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This sounds super tough! But I just want to say that you can definitely pull this together if you want to.
We are organising our wedding for this September having gotten engaged in April (of this year) and only actually deciding to go ahead with getting married in 2022 about 4 weeks ago.
I guess you have three options - push back the date of the wedding, throw in the towel and elope (fun option??) or pull yourself together and make an action plan, girl!
I have about 4000 spreadsheets and I'm just prioritising. Some stuff might not get done but as long as the vital stuff is done, we can work with it. If anybody offers you help, accept it. Get your fiance to pull his weight too - you can't do it alone in this timeframe!
Lastly, your colours don't have to be peach and blue just because his suit is blue and your dress is peachy!!! You can mix it up with the bridesmaid dresses, flowers, chair ribbons, tablecloths, bunting etc. There are websites out there to help with this, you can 'lock in' a couple of colours and they can suggest complimentary colours.
If you're going to do this, you've got to let go of feeling defeated. Its doable, if you want it to be
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