Two Maids of a Honor?

I had both my sisters :-)

Defensive much, Danielle? Wasn't aiming my comment to your post, it happened to fall right after yours.

I assumed it was either to me or the originator of the post. I just don't believe it's fair to assume that she has "Hollywood expectations" if she expects her friends to show her some support at the wedding beyond buying a dress and showing up.

Danielle... It was a comment. Don't take it so seriously.

I am having two maid of honors. They don't have duties but my MOH helped out a lot because she wanted to. I didn't put that pressure on her

Danielle, my 2 MOH's sound exactly like yours. Like I said, I have never once asked or told either of them to do anything except choose a color/style of dress.

That being said, one is constantly texting me asking what she can do and making spreadsheets. She is more organized than I am! The other is taking a more "back seat" approach.

However, I am honored to call them both my MOH because it's not about who deserves the title more, but it's about the two people who have been there for me the most PRE-engagement. And this is why I chose--and still have--2.

I have 2 matrons of honor as well. They have both been such big parts of my life and I couldn't choose between them.

Oh lord... You can definitely have two but I certainly regret it! Right now my two maids of honor are fighting because one doesn't want to go out of town for my bachelorette party. Apparently the bridesmaids had talked about it 3 months ago. All of the girls were fine with leaving town and now one of my maids of honor is saying that she Doesn't think it's a good idea to go far away for my party! Honestly I don't care, but I feel bad that my other maid of honor already planned everything with her knowledge! I'm not exactly sure of all of the details of the drama but it's absolutely ridiculous :/ if I had better foresight I would have only asked one girl...

I have two matrons and one maid of honor and basically I just asked them to work together on everything

2 maids of honors is perfectly fine. Assigning duties is not.

Yes, it seems like having two MOH's often means one who actually does a ton of helping and one who just gets the honor. But I agree that looking at who has been there the most before you were engaged tells a lot. If I had really opened my eyes and considered carefully, I would have realized only one of my MOH's deserved the honor. I think there are certain cases however, when it is impossible to only choose 1, for example, when you have 2 sisters and can't choose between the he two.

I also think that actually 'assigning" duties is pointless as I realized with my bridal party. Those that want to help are going to help you, whether or not they are MOH, bridesmaid or a friend not in the wedding party. Those that are not, wouldn't have helped either way.

I was a maid of honor with another girl once. One of the things she did for us was one had the ring during the ceremony while the other held the flowers. But the other girl lived halfway across the country so I did bridal shower stuff, etc and she did everything she could from a distance.

Thanks to everyone for your comments and help. All I meant by the delegation of duties was signing the marriage license, giving a speech, helping with input for the other wedding festivities, etc. I think the question was taken out of context by a few people. Just simply asking if anyone had good or bad experiences with asking 2 girls. Thanks!

OP, admittedly there have been a few moments but it wasn't anything major and nothing that has made me regret the decision. It more boiled down to communication and realizing what was a priority for each of them. A quick example--one was planning a 400 guest wedding over Memorial Day weekend (I was also a BM in it) and the other was gung ho about starting to plan events. I just asked that the second wait until the bride had survived her wedding (cuz good lord can you imagine what she was going through planning an event on that scale?!) because we had plenty of time until my wedding. Then once that hurdle was crossed, they each kind of realized that one really wanted to plan a shower (she loves throwing parties) while the other really wanted to do a bachelorette party (she's a former sorority club president. So all has worked out well in the end.

I would say as long as you know your girls' personalities and how they will mesh (and where they may clash), you can anticipate where there could be potential issues and be proactive with addressing them

I'm old school...really old school. I was brought up to believe that you chose a group of women to act as your honor attendants. One, above the others, was your shining star. If she was a single lady, she was a Maid of Honor. If she was a married lady, she was a Matron of Honor. I honestly don't get giving two, three, or four women the title of MOH. In my mind, if you grant the title to a second individual, it's not such an honor.

Just my opinion...I know times and practices have changed.

@Centerpiece I def don't disagree because that was the aspect I struggled with. But I'm also a middle child with two brothers which means I a)suck at being decisive and b)count my close friends as the sisters I found for myself since my mom didn't birth any for me Is this where I should tell you guys I want to fire one of my BMs??

JUST KIDDING--you girls have already taught me better than that

I think two MOHs can actually be the more considerate thing to do if you have two friends (or two sisters) that you don't want to have to choose between. How does it help friendships to essentially RANK your friends? I actually find this tradition of naming one friend who is better and "more honored" than all the rest to be mean-spirited and dividing (unless there is an obvious choice, such as one sister). I imagine it is the source of a lot of the drama we hear about with wedding parties (the MOH feels superior to the lowly bridesmaids and bridesmaids feel hurt and bitter that they weren't ranked the highest). When you think about it, it's a pretty awful practice. Personally, I think they should all just be friends or honor attendants - get rid of the silly titles.