Here are my questions:
For those who have tacked your spouse’s last name onto yours and did not hyphenate, do you have any grievances doing so? Is signing your name daunting? Does explaining your other last name (whichever it is) cause any problems (talking to customer service, doctor appointments, buying a car, insurance)? Is your name too long on your credit card? These are the things I’m worried about.
My my last name and my middle name are 8 letters long. My fiancé’s last names is 6 letters long.
My mother did not change her last name when she married my father. My middle name is my father’s last name, and my last name is my mother’s last name. Reasons being, I have three half-siblings with my father’s last name (one brother to pass it down), and my mother’s last name is very rare. Only her and I have this last name in our state, and we are related to anyone who shares our last name. My mother loves genealogy. Our last name can only be traced back to the early 1700’s when one of our ancestors sailed to America; From where, we don’t know. Even using DNA testing, Ancestry.com, etc. we cannot pinpoint where the name originated. “Somewhere in Denmark or Germany” is not a good enough answer.
My fiancé was married once before, and his ex-wife kept his last name because they have two children. My father was also married once before, and his ex-wife kept his last name for the same reason. My parents having different last names has caused them so many issues. Customer service never believes that my mother is married to my father. Car dealerships have called my father’s ex-wife THREE times even though my parents gave their phone numbers to a car dealer in-person.
Here is what I’m worried about:
I want to keep my maiden name (and middle name) because it’s so neat that my parents named me that way. It’s also a symbol of pride and independence passed down from my mother. Not doing things the same way has been a part of me since I was born (because of the name). My last name is also very rare, and it would be easier to trace ancestry for any relatives if I kept it. Even if I had two middle names and my fiancé's last name, it’s harder to research your ancestry when there are name changes. I also will not give up my middle name. My father allowing his last name to be my middle name is something I want to respect.
Thank you you for reading!