Two friends, two weddings, one month, one revoked bridesmaid

I don't think you're wrong in being hurt. It does sound like she thinks that there could be conflicts. Maybe she can't afford to pay for her own wedding along for the expenses of being a bridesmaid in such a short time? It's definitely better that she steps out of your wedding now rather than later, but I do understand being hurt.

You are absolutely not wrong in your feelings. You are hurt and I would be too. This is your friend, and it sounds like you really wanted to be a part of her wedding. Sorry this happened.

I agree with @714. It's possible she's looking out for both of your budgets. I do understand having your feelings hurt.

I don't think your wrong at all for feeling hurt. I understand wedding are stressful and being apart of a wedding can be stressful as well. Maybe try sitting down and talking to her?

Your not wrong for being hurt, but like pp have said, it's most likely a budget issue. Try talking to her and see what happens.

You have every right to be hurt. I will say this though, my two best friends (who are also best friends) are getting married two weeks apart in two different states and we're all in each other's weddings. Its been really hard financially, and I've been struggling with keeping everything straight for each bride since they also had back to back bridal showers. I think both of them feel like they can't 100% focus on their own wedding because they have those responsibilities. We're all finding a way to make it work, but it's been difficult. I think maybe your friend is trying to prevent that, but you should talk to her and get to the bottom of it.

My best friend and u got married two. Moths apart. It can be stressful, but it's possible.

I would be upset too. Especially since she's not letting you make the decision about whether or not you would be too stressed or not.

@Taylor - I'd talk to her honestly. She might think she's doing you a favor and doesn't realize how upset it made you.

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I understand you are hurt but at the same time I completely understand where she is coming from. Financially it is so difficult to be a bridesmaid and a bride. I'm in that situation right now. My best friend is getting married about 3 months before me. I honestly don't think I could do it had it been any closer. So far I've spent almost $1500 on her wedding while also trying to save for mine.

You also have to think about all the things there is to do the couple weeks before the wedding. I would probably do the same thing as her but in a nicer way.

Like everyone is saying you are not wrong for feeling hurt. Have a talk with your friend.

I was a BM in my friend's wedding two weeks after mine and she was one in mine. Sure, financially it was difficult, but it was a lot of fun having someone in the same stages of planning as I was that I could turn to talk about things.

If it's a budget issue, then she can decline being a BM in your wedding but it's not fair for her to make your decision for you. If she's actually revoking your position as a bridesmaid that's a super shitty friend. You guys need to talk it out.

While that is hurtful its probably for the best. In the alternative you could have a no extra rule with each other (where all you/she does is buy the dress, nothing more, no planning of showers or parties, no gift giving), but that would probably be unfair for the rest of the BMs.

I think it's completely reasonable to be hurt. It sounds like you've been looking forward to being a part of each other's weddings for a long time.

It sounds like she is trying to think logically about it. And if so, she is probably right. It would be really hard to handle both. I think she definitely could have talked to you about it instead of deciding for the both of you. But maybe she knew her answer would be no she couldn't handle both, but didn't want it to turn out one sided.

Maybe you can suggest being a part of each other's days in another way. Maybe do readings or something?

Realistically it makes a lot of sense. In these last two months I would not want to be worrying about someone else's wedding with mine going on and I need every penny right now to finish this off.

I think you should just talk to her! She probably thinks she's making it easier on both of you and doesn't realize how hurt you are. Tell her that you would still love to be a bridesmaid in her wedding! But, be prepared that when you ask her to be one of your bridesmaids that she might say no. Reading between the lines I'm guessing that this was her way of saying that she doesn't feel like she would be a good bridesmaid to you because she's planning hers and will have just gotten back from her honeymoon etc.

But we can only guess what she was thinking or really meant - you should definitely talk with her again!