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Just Said Yes June 2021

Two Ceremonies: Tacky or Considerate?

Haylee, on February 28, 2021 at 10:13 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 16

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Hey y’all! The pandemic forced our hand/limited our options when it came to selecting a date for our wedding. We went with June 12th knowing that my cousins graduation would be that weekend but since it has always occurred on a Sunday we weren’t concerned. We just heard that this year, 2021, they’d be having the graduation ceremony on a Saturday at the same time as my wedding which is 2.5 hours away.

I can’t and I won’t move my wedding again. SO my fiancé and brainstormed the idea of having an I tomato ceremony during the rehearsal where I actually wear my dress and he wears his suit with just the immediate family. Then the next day we have the celebration as usual. I just really want my Aunt and a Uncle to witness my marriage and feel included but my mother thinks this is tacky and too focused on them. Thoughts?
Any and all advice for the entire situation is appreciated. ❤️

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16 Comments

Latest activity by Kelsey, on March 2, 2021 at 1:42 AM

VIP June 2019
Hanna · on February 28, 2021 at 10:26 PM
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Personally, I would just have the one ceremony and reception on your actual wedding date. I agree with your mother that it will be impossible to accommodate everyone. I say this as a fellow bride whose aunt + uncle and several cousins couldn't come to my wedding due to college graduation conflicts.
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on February 28, 2021 at 10:45 PM
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It will be easiest on everyone to have one ceremony and reception.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on February 28, 2021 at 10:51 PM
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I think the easiest way that you’d be able to have all of your family there without the confusion and tackiness is to pick a different day then someone’s graduation. If you absolutely couldn’t do that, then you may have to face the reality that people might not go to your wedding. You’re putting people in the position of having to choose. Unfortunately they have to make a choice. Also, you might want to run this idea by the person that’s graduating… Did it ever occur to you that they may not want their graduation celebration to be during your wedding celebration? I actually think it may even be kind of rude to suggest that. Just trying to give you an honest opinion
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Just Said Yes June 2021
Haylee · on February 28, 2021 at 10:57 PM
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This option was run by the person graduating. We’re all very upset and sad. She wants to be a part of my day and this was a solution I’m toying with. My venue’s next available day is in December 2021. Moving it isn’t an option. My fiancé’s family is flying in from out of state and has their tickets booked.
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June 2021
Dj Tanner · on February 28, 2021 at 11:05 PM
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‘She wants to be a part of -My Day-‘ ... that’s just the problem. It’s not your day, it’s her day too. I personally think it’s tacky and agree with your mother, but if you both are OK with it then who cares. Go for it. I would just really make sure that that is exactly what she wants and that she isn’t just agreeing to it because she doesn’t know how to politely tell you no.
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Super May 2021
Stacey · on February 28, 2021 at 11:33 PM
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So you would actually be getting married during your rehearsal dinner? Would everyone attending your wedding celebration the following day know that they weren't witnessing the actual marriage ceremony?
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Master April 2021
Mrs. Spring · on March 1, 2021 at 12:38 AM
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Yup I agree with Hannas suggestion
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Super June 2021
Melanie · on March 1, 2021 at 4:55 AM
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I feel like doing this would take away from your wedding day. Your FH will see you in your dress, everyone at your rehearsal would see you in your dress...all to make your aunt, uncle and cousin feel included. I would have to agree with your mom. I wouldn't say it's tacky, but you're planning your entire rehearsal for them. No date is perfect for everyone and unfortunately, they'll just have to miss the wedding
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Master January 2019
Cassidy · on March 1, 2021 at 7:18 AM
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This isn’t something I’d want to do. Just invite them to the rehearsal, but don’t get all dressed up and exchange vows.
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Super May 2019
KYLIE · on March 1, 2021 at 8:46 AM
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This is what I’d do. Invite them to the rehearsal, conduct it as normal and include them in your rehearsal dinner.
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Expert September 2022
Allie · on March 1, 2021 at 9:14 AM
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Ok so it's really sweet that you want your aunt and uncle to witness your wedding ceremony! If you're having a videographer, can you ask them for a quick "sneak peek" of the raw footage of the ceremony to email it to your aunt and uncle that same day or maybe the next day? And/or maybe ask a family member to film the ceremony on their phone? And/or ask your photographer for a few sneak peek photos of the ceremony, have them printed real quick, and plan to meet up with your aunt and uncle shortly after the wedding (and give them the photos and maybe even wear your dress as a surprise) and maybe bring a slice of cake for them too? Just trying to throw out ideas that won't drastically impact your wedding, but would still make them feel included and have that special moment with them!
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Lady · on March 1, 2021 at 9:42 AM
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I think your mom is right. It's tacky. Just have one ceremony and if they can't come, they can't come. That's ok.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on March 1, 2021 at 10:37 AM
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I think in being hyper considerate about your aunt uncle and cousin, you’re being less considerate to the rest of your guests— they too would want to be part of that special moment and would be disappointed to learn they had missed it. I think your best bet is the one planned ceremony, but do invite aunt,uncle&cousin to the rehearsal & dinner. That way they can still be involved if they want— sure they’ll miss that I Do moment but they’ll still be able to be involved in an intimate part of your overall wedding experience , and that’s plenty !
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Master October 2021
Sexypoodle · on March 1, 2021 at 11:25 AM
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That’s quite a big thing to do simply because 2 guests can’t attend (and I doubt that your aunt and uncle want you to make that shift anyway). I mean, that’s like your cousin having an intimate graduation the day before the real graduation just so that your parents can be there (doesn’t make much sense). Additionally you said you won’t move your wedding date again, but technically you are. The reality of life is that everyone simply cannot attend everything. So have your wedding on that Saturday and enjoy your aunt and uncle while they’re at the rehearsal dinner.
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Expert November 2021
Sara · on March 1, 2021 at 12:30 PM
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One ceremony, one reception. I would invite them to your rehearsal dinner as guests and leave it at that. Would you really want to take away from your actual wedding day just to accommodate 3 people? That seems pretty extreme IMO. Conflicts are just something that unfortunately happen!
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Just Said Yes June 2021
Kelsey · on March 2, 2021 at 1:42 AM
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Having everyone there feels important but you have to remember the most important is the marriage between you and your SO. Two Ceremonies would honestly be exhausting especially if youve already been married. Facebook live or any live stream service would be a great alternative and having a celebratory luncheon post honeymoon or before the honeymoon with relatives that couldn't be there would be another good idea to bond. During this luncheon/gathering you can all watch your wedding video(if youre having one) and laugh and have a great time being apart of that together.
Personally, due to covid, i'll be having my wedding on facebook live as well for anyone that couldn't be there. theres the option to save your video so we'll be using that as our wedding video instead of having a professional video made. Its more cost efficient and how often are you really going to watch that video, am i right?
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