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Expert August 2021

Two Bridal Showers?

Molly, on May 3, 2020 at 12:25 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 13

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I'm getting married in August 2021. My MOH, FH and I have been discussing timelines and things (mostly due to the fact none of us have much to do right now thanks to Covid). The idea of bridal showers came up.

For a little backstory. I went to college in eastern Wisconsin but I grew up a little north of Minneapolis Minnesota. I met my FH in college. He is from Wisconsin. Also, my MOH and two of my bridesmaids are from Wisconsin as well. FH's family all live in Wisconsin and my family all live in Minnesota. FH and I both currently live in Minneapolis. We're having our wedding between the two cities.

My MOH was wondering what I wanted to do for a bridal shower, which brings my question. (sorry for the long backstory)

Should I have two bridal showers? One in Minnesota with my family and the bridesmaids from Minnesota and another in Wisconsin with FH's family and the bridesmaids from Wisconsin. My mom, FH's mom, and MOH would be willing to travel for both but I don't know how to only have one. I have family in western Minnesota and northern Minnesota while all of FH's family lives in Milwaukee. So for some family members on either side, a drive of 1-10 hours if it in one location.

So do I do two bridal showers or is there a different solution I'm not thinking of? I would love to just do one and have our families come together but I know it might be too difficult for everyone involved.

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13 Comments

Latest activity by Jennifer, on May 7, 2020 at 12:05 PM

Champion June 2019
Gen · on May 3, 2020 at 12:50 AM
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A bridal shower is supposed to be thrown for you by a friend or relative. I would have it wherever someone offers to throw you one. If two different people offer to throw you them in two different places, I think that’s fine (but also, the same guests shouldn’t be invited to both, they should be invited to the one from their region)
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Expert August 2021
Molly · on May 3, 2020 at 12:55 AM
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I know it's thrown by a person that's not me. This is mostly a question for my MOH. She would be willing to throw both but we were just looking for advice on if this would work or if there was a different solution. My mom would want to be at both no matter what which is why I put all the detail into my question.
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Expert August 2021
Sara · on May 3, 2020 at 1:09 AM
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Similar problem, but an easier solution. My family is Wisconsin, his family is Illinois. But his aunt and my aunt both offered to have a shower. So we are having two. Maybe. If coronovirus goes away and we don't have to cancel everything.
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Legend November 2019
Caytlyn · on May 3, 2020 at 1:10 AM
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It’s completely fine to have two showers, but I would only do so if a second person offers to host one. Two showers is a lot to expect from one MOH.
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Expert October 2021
Hillary · on May 3, 2020 at 1:16 AM
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I had two showers. First one was thrown by my mom’s friends and some family and then my husbands aunt and sister threw me another one a month later. But we are also all mostly local, though not all my bridesmaids came to both.
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on May 3, 2020 at 12:07 PM
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We had one thrown by my husbands parents in California and one thrown by my MOHs in Texas. I wouldn’t have one person throw two different ones though.
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Savvy June 2020
Nicole · on May 3, 2020 at 1:57 PM
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We had two bridal showers, one thrown by my mom/sisters, and the other thrown by my future mother in law/sisters in law even though both were in the same city. A handful of guests were invited to both (my best friend, my mom and sisters, and his mom and sisters). Our families have grown close over the 7 years we’ve been together, and it actually meant a lot to me that they were all invited to both! If we'd tried to do just one with both sets of extended families, it would have been around 60 people. That was just too many for either of them to take on, so we held 2. It was a lot of fun because we played some different games and had different foods!
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Master 0000
Judith · on May 3, 2020 at 8:12 PM
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Traditionally, showers are lesser parties of the wedding, and no one but the bride and maybe her mother are expected to spend money traveling. And the usual solution is to have 2-3 small showers in different locations, rather than one big one. It makes much more sense. Very commonly done. Usually, however, bridesmaids, mom and others only are guests at one shower, whatever one is least travel for each one. It is considered impolite to boost the numbers at each shower with anyone attending more than one, except the bride.
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on May 4, 2020 at 11:03 AM
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I absolutely agree.
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Expert August 2021
Molly · on May 4, 2020 at 11:09 AM
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Thank you everyone for all the adivce!

I had forgot to put (clearly it was too late for my brain), that while my MOH is willing to do two, there wouldn't be a huge need for it as my mom has also mentioned doing one as well.

I'm glad that it's not super uncommon to do two.
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VIP October 2020
Anna · on May 6, 2020 at 11:23 PM
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I think it’s a perfectly fine thing to have 2 showers considering the distance between the two families. But I also agree that the MOH should not be solo host to both, especially not to plan/pay/organize everything. I don’t know how things in your culture are done (yes I realize we may all be American, we could even be the same color but there are many many different cultures in our country), but in mine, the shower is more of the mother of the bride’s responsibility. I’ve had several friends, even my bridesmaid tell me to let my mom know they’d be willing to help out with the shower however. Not trying to tell you to put one on your mom, but at least have your MOH form a little team that could help pull it off together.
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VIP October 2020
Anna · on May 6, 2020 at 11:25 PM
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Yeah no, not at all uncommon. My mom apparently contemplated throwing 2, but I told her I didn’t see the point as most of my people are in the same area. It would be different if he had more family/friends/church people that wanted to throw a shower for us up that way, but he’s such an introvert and they have very little family.
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VIP August 2021
Jennifer · on May 7, 2020 at 12:05 PM
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There's your solution then! Have mom throw one and MOH throw the other! I know a girl who had four showers, and two is really common, especially in a situation like yours!
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