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Just Said Yes August 2022

(TW: Abuse) What should i do? My father hates my fiancé.

Gtiara420, on June 15, 2022 at 3:05 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 12
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When me and my fiancé first got together I was coming out of a physically abusive relationship. I carried the pain into my new relationship and was physically abusive with my now fiancé whenever I got drunk. That lead to him being abusive back then later started to initiate abuse. I went to counseling and stopped the abuse but he kept going whenever he got drunk. The last altercation we had he got drunk and started hitting me. It blew up so much to the point where I had to run out of the house covered in blood. The police came and took me to my parents house. Although I admitted to my parents that I started the abuse in the beginning of the relationship causing my now fiancé to be abusive. My father hates his guts now and refuses to forgive him. My father means the world to me. What should I do? (The abuse has stopped from both is us completely)
Edited by WeddingWire

12 Comments

Latest activity by Kelly, on June 17, 2022 at 8:25 AM
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2023
    Cece Online ·
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    I don’t think there is anything you can do at this point. A father that loves his daughter is never going to forget the image of his child covered in blood at the hands of her spouse. If it was MY father he would not only never forgive him, he would have buried him!
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  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
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    I agree with Cece. There’s no coming back from that. Especially for a father. Regardless if you start the abuse or not a man, especially a man you’re going to be calling your husband shouldn’t be laying a finger on you. Your father is absolutely right to hate his guts.
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  • Leslie
    Devoted December 2022
    Leslie ·
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    That is a tough situation but a relationship that had a rocky start is worrisome that it could rebound to old ways and maybe even get worse. Maybe your dad is simply worried about your well being and safety in the long run with him. I agree with the two girls above if my dad were to ever see what ur dad saw he would never forget the image and hate him as well. In your dads shoes I wouldn’t like the guy either I mean what would you do if you saw your future daughter in that same situation?
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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
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    I'm on team Dad here. It sounds like you're in a rocky relationship. I'm sorry, but I'd feel the same as he does. Please make sure you're safe. Do some research and learn about intimate partner violence.

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  • Frederic
    Dedicated October 2024
    Frederic ·
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    Very sensitive topic here.. I have to agree with all others on here. No way a man should put his hands on a woman in that manner.
    You can try and have a serious sit down talk with your parents and see if the healing process can begin but those chances are slim. In the end, you have to decide what's best for you
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  • Mrs.evans
    Rockstar October 2022
    Mrs.evans ·
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    Yes my dear I hate to tell you but if only 1 parties is trying to stop the behavior but the half us not then it will continue to happen. And that is not a image that a parent wants for there child. Now do you have any children with this man and then you are going to marry him. Needs to stop before you say I do or have to walk away from the relationship until he agrees to change and go to counseling with you. I have see this far too much I also have been thru that until I had enough and look at my kids faces. And please dont say I know that he loves me if he lives you then he will do these to do right I wish you luck
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  • Sloane
    Rockstar May 2022
    Sloane ·
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    Team Dad and Team pause…. Is this a relationship you want to marry into?
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  • B
    VIP July 2017
    Becky ·
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    Between this and your previous posts, I would say leave the relationship

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  • W
    VIP September 2020
    Willow ·
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    You're 23, your FH is 12 years older than you, when he gets upset about someone else, he starts comparing you to them and calls you immature when this upsets you, he has beaten you bloody.


    Leave this toxic, abusive relationship and get into domestic violence counseling. You may have become the aggressor first in the relationship, but that doesn't excuse his actions.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Team Dad all the way. Leave this relationship because it is the definition of toxic. Once someone starts in on abuse and violence, they don’t change back. Especially since he has a history of assaulting you. You deserve so much better. Get therapy for domestic abuse and work on yourself first.
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  • Orianna
    Devoted December 2022
    Orianna ·
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    Sorry to say but I think we're all Team Dad here. This doesn't sound like a good relationship. He has a history of hitting you (even if you "started it", he didn't ever have to keep it going - what he should have done was after the first time it happened with you, helped you get help through therapy), he calls you immature when he hurts your feelings by comparing you to someone who makes him angry, and his relationship with his kids' mother makes you uncomfortable. These are not things that will change over night, especially if he isn't actively working on trying to change these toxic traits about himself. The likelihood that other things will occur is quite strong.

    I'm going to echo others and say, get out, get some domestic violence treatment, and work on yourself. Become the best version of you that you can for you and your daughter, and then find someone who brings that out in you, and whom you bring out the best in.

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  • Kelly
    Rockstar October 2023
    Kelly ·
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    I agree with the other posters. If you need help, feel free to reach out to me.

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