raquel
Savvy May 2022

Trying to please everyone

raquel, on May 21, 2018 at 9:48 AM Posted in Planning 0 10
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Me an my soon to be husband lives in Nola our families lives in the Northeast states. We found a beautiful venue here in Louisiana that is a real castle to have everything at (ceremony, reception) the good thing about it is everything is included decorations, food, cakes and DJ at a price we can afford. Here's the problem everyone wants us to have it in one of our home states. We have changed our wedding date a few times because certain people could not make or could not afford it. I'm at the point to were I don't care who comes and don't come. Am I the one being difficult about where to get married???

10 Comments

Latest activity by Neffe, on July 18, 2018 at 11:51 AM
  • Teresa
    Super September 2018
    Teresa ·
    • Flag
    You should plan the wedding where you want it. If you want the castle then go for it. Remember you can never make everyone happy.
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  • MOB So Cal
    January 2019
    MOB So Cal ·
    • Flag

    I understand your thought process, but if you decide on NOLA, please truly be gracious about your guests' decisions to attend or not attend. A family member chose to have her wedding 3000 miles from 85% of her guests -- because it was more convenient and affordable for her & FH. That's fine, but when she and her mother then guilted and nagged anyone who indicated they might not be able to go (typically for financial or timing issues), it wasn't pleasant. Based on what it cost me to attend (which I would not have done except for the nagging & guilt), my estimate is that her "bargain" wedding cost her guests in excess of $75,000 in travel costs.... In my opinion, she didn't "save money," she shifted a significant portion of the cost of her wedding to her guests. That's definitely a choice she was free to make, but then she needed to be gracious and accepting if people indicated they weren't going to attend.

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  • Kristina
    Master August 2018
    Kristina ·
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    Do whatever you'd like with the venue. It's really difficult to please everyone with this amount of people because schedules and costs will never allign to please everyone, especially if everyone is in different states.

    If they can't make it, say you'll miss them but you understand. If they get mad, oh well, it isn't their wedding, and you're trying to do what's best for YOUR wedding.

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  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    Well said. At the end of the day, it's you and FI's choice where to have the wedding, but keep in mind that destination weddings are expensive for most, so don't be too surprised if a lot of people decline.

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  • raquel
    Savvy May 2022
    raquel ·
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    I do understand that everyone will not be able to attend but some family members think it should be about them. I'm not trying to guilt anyone into coming I do know that it can be expensive in having an out of town wedding but I do work at a hotel and getting the rooms for under $100.00 per night. Plus providing transportation to and from the venue.
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  • P
    Super January 2019
    PalmTrees ·
    • Flag
    You live in NOLA so you’re totally justified to have it there! I actually think it’s nice when the bride and groom have both moved from different areas and have the wedding in their current city. If someone can’t or won’t come, then they’ll miss a great time. Their loss, not yours.
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  • P
    Super January 2019
    PalmTrees ·
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    Oh also wanted to add that it sounds like some people will have to travel regardless of exactly where you have it as everyone isn’t in the same place. And also I just don’t see why anyone needs to have their wedding far from where they live, like back in one of their hometowns, when that’s not what they want to do. Doesn’t really make sense to me. I’d get the venue squared away and tell the guilt trippers it’s already done.
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  • Miaaa
    Super January 2018
    Miaaa ·
    • Flag

    As long as your VIPs can make it (pretty much anyone important to you), plan away! I can't imagine the stress of trying to plan a wedding far from where I live.

    • Reply
  • A
    Dedicated September 2018
    A ·
    • Flag
    I agree with PP. My FH and I live in a beautiful place in NW florida. We can have a wedding there thats inexpensive and near where we live. Both familes live far away in opposite directions. I am fine if anyone can't come. For me it is more of a benefit as I wanted a smaller wedding anyways. Of course each family wanted it where they live.
    • Reply
  • Neffe
    Master July 2020
    Neffe ·
    • Flag

    Hi Raquel! I understand how difficult this can be, but the location is ultimately up to you and your FH, so I would certainly make sure your desires are fulfilled first. Also, you mentioned that you can get them affordable hotel rates and provide transportation, so you've done a lot to accommodate them! Don't worry about it too much; just remain focused on bringing your dream vision to life. What planning items are you currently working on?

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