Trying to find a pastor

Will your church even let another officiant perform the ceremony?

I don't think your church would allow you to do so if they have all those requirements. This is a first but maybe you can find a church elsewhere

@RATR Nope, that's what's so strange to me. We are having the ceremony at the reception venue too, so we won't actually be in a church. But they refuse to even perform the marriage at all unless we meet those requirements. My fiancé used to be baptist and had been baptized before, so I'm sure that would count. But they specifically say they won't marry anyone living together.

That's absurd. There are many excellent churches with a more inclusive stance. I would call around to other local churches. You might find one that fits you a lot better.

@E.B. I thought it was a great church, the head pastor has such an amazing story where he once was a drug addict, and it's been a very welcoming place. Obviously once you want to get married you realize the truth. I can't believe it's 2016 and they expect those things.

Well, like with so many things, if you don't like their rules, don't use them.

And if you're not getting married AT the church, just find a different officiant. Look in the vendor section here for one.

It sounds like the church you are attending is too strict for your tastes. You can't expect a church or a pastor to compromise what he or she believes and teaches, so I think your best bet is to find a different minister from a different church that isn't as strict.

We asked my pastor last Sunday if he would marry us. While he was excited we asked him, and was pumped to have the first wedding in the renovated church, he did express his thoughts as followed: "I'm super pumped to do this for you two. Now, obviously I wish you two could have waited to live with each other, but there are worse things you could do."

Being a Christian there are obviously some things that you should follow (no sex before marriage, man/woman relationships, etc.) but let's be honest, these things are not always followed. I get where your pastor is coming from, but you should pick someone who is special to you as a couple. Your current pastor is not the man for the job. Obviously, my pastor was not thrilled that we lived together, but he realizes these things happen. (I mean, he jut married an 18 year old and her baby daddy, he doesn't judge like some harsher pastors) Find someone you can relate to you as a couple and won't make you feel bad about your choices in life. I'd even go as far as to tell you to possibly look into finding another church.

That's so weird, Peach. That they seemed so inclusive in other areas, but so strict on this. It does seem like they kindof sneaked it in!

Look into Unitarian churches. They often allow you to use their facilities with the officiant of your choice. You can find a great officiant by using the vendors tab here on WW