Kristen
Just Said Yes June 2023

Trouble with groomsmen

Kristen, on December 6, 2016 at 4:45 PM Posted in Planning 0 35
Saved
Reply

I have 3 groomsmen who two out of 3 live in different states. My problem is...1. i can never get one of them on the phone so i havent been able to discuss the wedding with him at all. #2. None of the guys have gotten measured or looked at suits. And #3... one of them says he gonna be at the wedding but we are unsure if financially he will be able to make the trip out. I really just want to replace them all but its my husband family n he is set on them being in the wedding. What do i do?

35 Comments

Latest activity by Muffinbutton, on December 8, 2016 at 7:26 PM
  • SleepytheDwarf
    Master June 2017
    SleepytheDwarf ·
    • Flag

    Umm wait. These are groomsmen? Then why are you trying to discuss anything with them? That's THE GROOM'S JOB. You back the fuck off.

    • Reply
  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
    • Flag

    You have 6 months, they don't need to get fitted for their suits yet.

    Chillax. Let your FH deal with them.

    • Reply
  • OGJessieJV
    Master July 1867
    OGJessieJV ·
    • Flag

    Why the fuck would you have anything to do with his groomsmen? You a) back off, these are your FH's call not yours; b) you don't replace people in your wedding party, they are not props.

    • Reply
  • Holly
    Master February 2017
    Holly ·
    • Flag

    Send them the details of where to order the suit and when they need to do it by. They'll get their shit together or they won't. Don't "replace" them- loved ones should not be expendable like that. You have 6 months.

    • Reply
  • FutureRand
    Master July 2017
    FutureRand ·
    • Flag

    1. What is there to discuss

    2. They have time. Chill.

    3. Let him make his own decisions about finances.

    Replacing/kicking them out would be rude AF. These are your FH nearest and dearest. Not you call. Calm it down.

    • Reply
  • BeachDreams
    Master May 2017
    BeachDreams ·
    • Flag

    Bridal Party members are people not props that can be replaced. What you should do is let your FH handle the situation. Does he call your BMs and ask them about dresses?

    • Reply
  • Lynnie
    WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
    Lynnie ·
    • Flag

    Hi Kristen! Can I ask why you've been the one to reach out to the groomsmen? This should really be your FH's responsibility and can really easily breed animosity between his friends and you!

    #2 - The guys have foooooorever to get suits. Is there a specific suit or order by date they need to be aware of? If so all FH has to do is let them know that date. Guys can purchase a suit and get it rush altered within a week - they'll be fine Smiley smile

    #3 - Don't make assumptions about other people's financial situations. If they can't attend or can't afford to be in the wedding party, they need to speak up and come forward about it. What you guys can do as a couple is be as cost-conscious as possible and make sure that you aren't putting any financial burdens on the groomsmen!

    • Reply
  • Lauren17
    Master July 2017
    Lauren17 ·
    • Flag

    Let your FH handle this- why are you involved? They're big boys.

    • Reply
  • Jallisa
    Devoted May 2017
    Jallisa ·
    • Flag

    The groomsman in our wedding haven't gotten things together either but that my FH'S department, they are his friends and all I've done is remind him to reach out to them. I'm not going to stress about it. Not yet at least they still have some time.

    • Reply
  • runsoncoffee
    Dedicated June 2018
    runsoncoffee ·
    • Flag

    You really just want to replace them all? What? That's not even your call. Back off and let your FH take care of his side of the wedding party.

    • Reply
  • Nikol
    VIP December 2017
    Nikol ·
    • Flag

    Wow, just wow.

    Carry on

    • Reply
  • Sara
    Master April 2017
    Sara ·
    • Flag

    Let the groom handle it if its his family

    • Reply
  • Mrs.Whooooo
    Master May 2017
    Mrs.Whooooo ·
    • Flag

    @Brianna, OP is rude for wanting to kick her FH's family out of her wedding. We're not being rude, we're being blunt.

    • Reply
  • Mrs Richmond
    Master June 2017
    Mrs Richmond ·
    • Flag

    Brianna, we are giving her advice.

    OP, you need to let your FH worry about this. It's honestly none of your business. Does your FH call your bridesmaids and hound them about whether they've ordered their dresses, or can afford the trip to your wedding? No. Stop.

    You do need to back off. We haven't even picked out suits for the GM yet. And I'd certainly never tell FH he needs to kick out one of his very best friends because he hasn't "been able to discuss the wedding on the phone". What does that even mean? I have so many questions still.

    ETA: Brianna, just saw your edit about how BP members "can and will be cut out". WTF is wrong with you? Not doing as they're asked? All they should be asked to do is buy an outfit and show up. With 6 months until the wedding, OP doesn't need to be worried about either of those things.

    • Reply
  • Nikol
    VIP December 2017
    Nikol ·
    • Flag

    Brianna...you'll cut a BM for not doing as you ask?

    That's pretty tacky, and shows your true character.

    Your bridal party doesn't need to do shit for you. Their only job is to wear a dress and show up.

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    Not your circus, not your monkeys. Your FH gets to deal with them and guess what? If they don't have suits, he has no groomsmen. It's not the end of the world. And you don't replace them. FSS.

    And Brianna? You're not running a corporation, okay? You can't cut people off. But if you do, they're probably dodging a bullet.

    • Reply
  • FutureMrs.DCT
    VIP March 2017
    FutureMrs.DCT ·
    • Flag

    First your FH should be the one dealing with the groomsmen. He wants them in the wedding, they stay. It's rude to kick anyone out (except in VERY EXTREME circumstances). I'm getting married in 100 days, and guess what? We haven't ordered FH's suit. Not stressed, it will get done in the next month. Doesn't need to be done that early. Unless you have control issues, leave them and your FH alone about it.

    • Reply
  • Brujajaja
    Dedicated December 2017
    Brujajaja ·
    • Flag

    Maybe there's a reason one of them isn't answering your phone calls. LOL.

    • Reply
  • J
    Beginner October 2017
    Joe ·
    • Flag

    I have the same issue so I gave them a deadline for the suits avd go to a national chain store where all of them can get the same suit and most importantly same materials. Also I made a Facebook page for just my guys and we stayed in touch along with me putting important info like suit pics shoes and etc and so far it has worked great

    • Reply
  • Emily
    Master May 2014
    Emily ·
    • Flag

    Good lord. Back away from the groomsmen OP. Seriously, you have 6 months and none of this is even your concern.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics