Trouble getting RSVPs back

This happens all the time - you are not alone. The longer you give guests to RSVP, the lower the response rate.

You must wait until the RSVP date has passed before contacting anyone. If you given them until, say 12/1, well, you have to wait until at least 12/2. Usually it's best to give a least 3 days after the RSVP date in case people mail them on the RSVP date (some people interpret RSVP date as "Mail by" date). Then, start calling/emailing/texting.

Most of your guests are going to wait until the deadline or just after.

What deadline did you give them to respond by? Wait until a few days after that date and then follow up.

As firstoneat56 said, you have to wait until your rsvp date has passed. Then you can contact them via whatever method you normally use to communicate. Be clear and assertive with your wording. If you just tell them you need to hear from them you are no further ahead than you are now. They already know that and they didn't respond.

"I'm contacting you because we haven't received your rsvp. Our caterer needs final numbers. If you are unable to commit, we will have to consider you a no and will miss you at the wedding."

If you have to text or leave a message "

"I'm contacting you because we haven't received your rsvp. Our caterer needs final numbers. If we don't hear from you in the next 24 hours, we will have to consider you a no and will miss you at the wedding."

My wedding was the same weekend of yours last year and I sent out invites in October with an RSVP deadline of mid-November. You're still WAYYYY early and don't need to call anyone. Just give them more time to respond. My guess is you'll get a lot of replies in the next few weeks. After that, start calling people who didn't respond.

You don't need to panic yet because you don't need them to have RSPV'd yet

Yup, this sounds about right. People are shitty and can't take ONE minute to fill out a card and stick the pre-addressed and stamped envelope back in the mail. Irritates the hell out of me.

But yeah, once that deadline is passed, you'll need to pick up the phone and make those calls.

I feel you. I set my 'RSVP by' date later then I would have liked, just because of my obsessiveness.

I also know, based on hotel reservations, that a bunch of people are coming but haven't sent their RSVP's back yet and it doesn't make sense to me why they can't just send the damn preaddressed stamped envelope and card back. Why so hard?? But that really is my crazy because since I know they are coming, why do I need the card?

Once the RSVP date passes you start reaching out by phone or text message. If you have trouble getting responses, you eventually tell them that if you don't have their response by X date, you'll unfortunately have to mark them as a decline. We had 1 guest that we never heard back from, and still haven't.

I put 11/16 rsvp by date. I know I shouldn’t panic yet, so I’m starting to try to plan time after rsvp by date to start contacting people.

Hi date twin! I did the same thing, actually. Gave out the invitations in September and RSVP due date is 11/11 for me. I am going a bit crazy too... I'd like to know final numbers! There are a bunch who already told me verbally they're coming, but I have no idea if their +1s are coming... Another friend thought it was just a formality. :/

You are seven weeks out. I'm the same date as you. I just sent I invites last week so I only have a handful now. People can't decide that early. Wait three more weeks then call those who haven't rsvped.

We started contacting the week that the RSVPs were due and again the day after. Some of the missing ones were work friends, so i'd actually sent out an email to remind them that they could give them to us in person if they wanted to and that we hoped we would see them there!

People DO NOT RSVP. Its sucks, but you can't ask until after your RSVP date has passed. Our mail was affected by Harvey so I called and texted people saying the following: "Hey there, I know our mail has been affected by Hurricane Harvey, so I haven't received your RSVP yet. Are you planning to make it? I need to know by XX to get the final count to the caterer." I also purposely gave myself a little cushion on the date that I requested to know by. It still was a nightmare and we paid for 10 people who didn't make it, but whatever.