Heather
Dedicated May 2020

(Trigger Warning)

Heather, on May 12, 2020 at 6:24 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 1 17
Saved
Reply

He tried to kill himself.

I'm so lost I haven't slept or ate for 3 days. I cant go see him in the ICU. We were just talking about how excited we were to get married . Then he just . I had to find him. And now our whole future we planned is just gone. I have all of our wedding stuff . I keep replaying conversations and the situation thinking of what I could do different. Idk what im.supposed to do with this wedding. This dumb stupid wedding. I never wanted this stupid day . We both just wanted to elope but I was doing this for my parents. But we got excited. Now I dont even know where to go or begin. The love of my life is in a hospital bed alone

17 Comments

Latest activity by Heather, on May 21, 2020 at 3:30 PM
  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy
    • Flag
    I am so sorry you are going through this. I can鈥檛 even begin to imagine what you are dealing with but try to focus on the positive and pray for him. Don鈥檛 blame yourself. You need to stay strong so when he comes home you are able to help him. Do you have friends you can call and talk to that can help you get through this? Praying that things turn out ok for you. Here is a virtual hug 馃
    • Reply
  • Trisha
    Super October 2020
    Trisha
    • Flag

    Sending Prayers For You Both. Try To Stay Strong For Him, He Needs You.

    • Reply
  • Fenja
    VIP August 2021
    Fenja
    • Flag

    Oh I'm so sorry you have to go through this!! It's hard. I lost a friend to suicide a while back and all I can tell you: Do not blame yourself! Be there for him when he comes back. Praying for things to get better for you two.

    • Reply
  • Faviola
    Dedicated August 2021
    Faviola
    • Flag
    At this time this is a tough moment we unfortunately are living in. Sending positive vibes your way. Stay strong praying for you both
    • Reply
  • Sweetness
    March 2022
    Sweetness
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry you are both enduring this. I can't even imagine the pain for both of you. Not being able to be with the person you love most, especially when they are ill or hurt is so painful. Sending gigantic virtual hugs your way. 馃

    • Reply
  • Meghan
    Master October 2019
    Meghan
    • Flag

    I am so sorry you are going through this right now. And I am so sorry for your fiance! Try to stay positive so you can be a support system for him once he is released from the hospital. Don't even think about your wedding. Right now, it is not important. I wish you two good luck and am sending you good vibes!

    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith
    • Flag
    So hard, I am sorry for you both. Praying he gets past this. Then, doing things to minimize stress, for both of you. What parents want in best of all worlds may not work. Think of him. And yourself, separately, what is best for now. And cancel things. As he comes back, and adjusts his life to something with less of what he clearly feels to be situations he cannot cope with, you may still be good for one another. But how you do things, and what will happen with money, jobs and such with Covid, may change. If you love each other things can still work out, don't lose hope. Take care of yourself.
    • Reply
  • Allie
    VIP November 2021
    Allie Online
    • Flag
    I am so sorry you are going through this. Last June, my cousin who is like a brother to me, attempted to take his own life as well. I was devastated. Please allow yourself the time to grieve because this is something serious that happened, but know it鈥檚 not your fault and be there as much as you can for him. My cousin had to go through really intense therapy where he was checked into a facility immediately after his hospital stay and he was there for 2 weeks. It was very helpful to him and hopefully your state/area has something similar that maybe he can participate in. Again I鈥檓 so sorry this is happening, love is being sent your way 鉂わ笍.
    • Reply
  • Kendra
    Devoted July 2021
    Kendra
    • Flag
    So sorry you are going through this. Thoughts and prayers are with you and your family! 馃檹馃従
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha
    • Flag

    I am so sorry for you both. This is not your fault, this is not his fault, it's an illness. Just push the wedding aside for the time being and focus on supporting yourself and your partner.

    • Reply
  • Christine
    Dedicated October 2020
    Christine
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry to hear this Heather. As a social worker in a hospital setting, all I can tell you is that mental illness especially depression can cloud judgment and make people do the unimaginable. Please be good to yourself...there's little people can do or say when a person is in a deep depression...there are changes that occur within the brain that are out of our control.


    Right now, he is in the best setting he can be in. If he stabilizes, likely psychiatry will be consulted and they can look and see if there are any medications that can help him. I'm not here to give medical advice but I just want to let you know we are thinking of you and there is hope for your loved one. Please take care of yourself (sleep, eat, take a walk)...your emotional and mental well-being is also very important during this time!

    • Reply
  • Leanne
    Super September 2020
    Leanne
    • Flag
    I鈥檓 so sorry. I lost my boyfriend 5 years ago to suicide. My biggest piece of advice right now is try not to get caught in the endless cycle of 鈥渨hat if鈥 questions. Take care of yourself and I hope he gets better soon.
    • Reply
  • Jo
    WeddingWire Administrator May 2015
    Jo
    • Flag

    First of all, there was nothing you could have done differently. This was not caused by something you did or said or didn't do or didn't say. That's hard to fully accept but it is so important that you do. You did nothing wrong.

    You don't need to make any decisions about the wedding right now, certainly not before you talk to him and while you're in distress. Do you know when you'll be able to talk to him?

    I strongly encourage you to talk to someone to help you through this. A therapist, counselor, online counseling services like Talkspace or Better Help... Here are a few resources I think are really great:

    National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (they also give support to loved ones of people in crisis)

    7 Cups of Tea

    The Samaritans

    • Reply
  • Audrey
    Savvy October 2020
    Audrey
    • Flag

    I'm so sorry that this happened. It is NOT your fault! I know it doesn't feel like it, but he's safe right now and that's a blessing. It stinks you're not able to see him; I can't imagine how hard that must be. I'm praying for you both. You both need to do what's best for you. This is a really difficult time and what's best for you might not match up with what others want. But your safety and well-being is more important than what others want!

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Dedicated May 2020
    Heather
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    He just started to respond to verbal commands . We just about 4 days from the incident. I call several times a day so I hope he can hear me. We have only zoomed him twice in four days. It's been a horrible experience at this hospital. Post 48 hours they had the conversation of what we wanted to do as far as taking him off or taking him to a nursing home. They told us he wasnt there and no improvement had been made on his reflexes.. first off I have worked in clinical settings for the last 4 years of my life so I was able to administer cpr till EMS arrived. So I know this treatment when I see it. He hasnt been given more them 1 mri since he got to the hospital . We got to zoom with him and they told us he wasnt moving at all and this man was responsive to our voices .legs moving and sitting up and looking at us. They said it was involuntary. It's been horrible not one matching answer after any shift changes. Hes got a stoma put in. So we are hoping for the best . The best thing is I feel like the love of my life is going to live. Worst part is not knowing how much of him is going to be there. I have thought of several situations. I'm still in shock over the situation. I'm angry I'm heart broken and I still cant believe this is real life.
    • Reply
  • Maya
    Savvy March 2021
    Maya
    • Flag

    Oh my goodness. My heart goes out to you. I know there are no words that can console you right now but just don't beat yourself up. There is no way you could have tapped into that in a conversation in order to know what he was going to do unless he wanted you to know. You are in my prayers (seriously...I don't know you but you are from today on)Smiley heart

    • Reply
  • Heather
    Dedicated May 2020
    Heather
    • Flag

    Its just been short two weeks post accident . I really have no words we were being told he wasnt there. That they aren't sure if hes going to be a vegetable yet. Then before i went into to work i prayed more like begged god to save him and that i would return to him.. Then his grandmother called me and we were praying for a miracle . I hung up the phone.... less then two minutes his mom messages everyone on messenger . She said physical rehab sat him up and asked if he was there and he mouth yes. told them my name . my name . im in complete shock yesterday they were preparing us for the worst. I now know the strength of prayer. Thank you all for the prayers and thoughts. please continue to pray this is just the start of the journey. But i finally have hope.

    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×
WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics