NextChapterReady
Super October 2019

Tricky Situation with Invited Wedding Guest

NextChapterReady, on June 17, 2019 at 10:06 AM Posted in Planning 0 10
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So my fiance is a physician and he invited his office to the wedding (only seven people). He's good friends with all of them. We sent out the STDs in January. HOWEVER, one office worker had a bit of a situation and ended up taking a huge leave of absence and then after months returned. She then ended up leaving the company because the position had changed in her absence. My FH is pretty torn up because he really liked this person and wanted her at the wedding. But it wasn't an amicable parting and apparently things were not friendly when they ended. Obviously he doesn't think it's a good idea to send her a wedding invitation and I kind of agree, but it seems bad that we've already sent an STD. What is the right call here?

10 Comments

  • Caytlyn
    Champion November 2019
    Caytlyn ·

    I don't see why what happens at work should change his personal life. Like you said, you already sent a save the date anyway. I would still invite her. If she feels like it's an uncomfortable situation, she can decline.

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
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    A lot of things were said that can't be taken back by her and I think my FH was really hurt by them and so were the other staff. So her leaving changed their personal relationship too. He feels like he would be upset if she came at this point and so would the rest of his staff. So I understand why he is reluctant to send an invitation at this point. I don't know the person, so I'm trying to figure out what's best along with him. It feels delicate to me :/

  • Furture Mrs. G
    Expert September 2019
    Furture Mrs. G ·

    I have had this situation too, however mine is with family. The thing is, this is Y'alls wedding. If y'all don't want to invite her... You don't have to. Yes, she got the STD but, if things ended badly I am sure she doesn't expect to get an invitation any ways.

  • Tonia
    Devoted October 2019
    Tonia ·

    I have somewhat of the same situation. I sent save the dates to two co-workers before I switched jobs. Some things transpired and I am no longer on speaking terms with these two individuals. They will not be getting invites to the wedding. I don't want any awkwardness and I personally am not paying for them to eat and drink on my special day. Circumstances change and even though they may have gotten a STD, that doesn't mean you are locked in to them coming if an issue occurs before invites go out. Do what makes you guys happy as a couple.

  • Bridget
    Dedicated October 2019
    Bridget ·
    I know the general rule of thumb is if you send a STD then you send an invitation. However some “rules” need to be broken. If this person said things hurtful to your fh then I would not invite them. If there’s hard feelings I’d hate to think what if this person just showed up to be spiteful and said things with the rest of the office.
  • Woman On The Go
    Savvy December 2015
    Woman On The Go ·
    Ugh, type of scenario is mostly why I skipped save-the-dates and only sent an invitation a couple of months beforehand. Ordinarily I would say a save-the-date is an invite, so it's necessary to also send an actual invitation. In this case, she probably wouldn't want to attend under the circumstances anyway. To be more polite, your FH can reach out to her and let her know that because of the hurtful things said, the other circumstances, etc. she probably wouldn't be comfortable attending and he wouldn't be comfortable with her there.
  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
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    Oh jeez! Yeah family definitely makes it harder

    That's the thing, I really wish this hadn't transpired because we would have been happy to have her. But that was what my FH said ... after all the hurt feelings he doubts she expects one at this point.

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
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    Yeah i just imagine if I had something this upsetting happen, then got the invitation-would I feel obliged with going? I just want to basically avoid a lot of people being uncomfortable and tension at the wedding!

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Yes I always try to stick to etiquette as much as possible, but this one has me leaning toward no ... There is definitely hard feelings and I feel bad for everyone all around. I definitely don't want this in the atmosphere at our wedding

  • NextChapterReady
    Super October 2019
    NextChapterReady ·
    View Quoted Comment

    Yeah luckily this is the only situation that has come up, but that's what my FH said-she wouldn't come even if we sent it. I hate that this happened

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