Trichotillomanic Bride

That sounds really difficult and I am sorry that some people tell you, "just stop," and think they are actually helping.

Re. the eyelashes, can you "test drive" a set before your wedding to see if you can handle wearing them? That might ease your worries on that front at least. And definitely make sure to find a sympathetic makeup artist. The pros can do amazing things, but it will be extra important for you to find one you feel comfortable with.

I’m so sorry you are suffering. As the post above, do a test drive for the eye lashes and see of you like it.
For the eyebrow, practice filling them in a bit - it will look weird at first, but there are so many good youtube tutorials for eyebrows! I have a bald spot on my left one - my kids inherited it too, so I fill that in.

I’m sorry you’re going through this. I agree with others to give false lashes a trial. You can do some research into what kind are the least irritating. I will say, I don’t find them comfortable and any time I’ve worn them I’ve just waited for the moment when I can take them off, so they may not be the best fit. Give it a try. Alternatively, you can look up ways for eyeliner to give a lash appearance- you’d be surprised what you can almost “paint” on. Good luck!

I'm sorry you're going through this.

Honestly, these sound like pretty easy fixes with makeup. Get you a good makeup artist and do a trial run before the big day. If you're doing your makeup yourself maybe try individual lashes. I find them to be less irritating on me than strip lashes. I have a naturally bald spot in my brow and when I get them stained, they stain the skin on that spot and you can't really tell especially with other eyebrow makeup on. Maybe that's an option?

I have a student in my class with this same condition, so I understand how uncontrollable it is; I’m sorry! I will say in regards to the eyelashes, I personally find them uncomfortable and ended up ripping mine off at my covid wedding last year. I’m not sure I can bear the thought of going back to them again, but I plan on wearing them more often to desensitize myself. I would play around with your makeup artist, as makeup is truly amazing and you can change your look by simple things. Good luck!!! ❤️

Like the others, I'm sorry - that must be a difficult condition to have, and of course you can't just 'stop doing it' - I'm sure you would if you could!

I will agree with the others and say that what you're describing will be easy fixes for a good makeup artist - especially the brows. MANY people have been over-zealous in the early 2000s and have almost no brows left, so a hole is an easy thing to fix! I know I plucked mine way too thin and it's almost a miracle that they've grown back - we must be a hairy family, lol!

I also agree that trying on false lashes before the day - will help you feel at ease with them.

I'd recommend doing a makeup trial in the morning, and spending the day in the makeup to settle in with what you'll look and feel like. I'm sure you will make a beautiful bride!

On false lashes: see if you can get a MUA who does individuals. They aren't strip lashes, but literally little bundles of lashes they stick on. They tend to be less irritating in my opinion, because there isn't a strip anchoring them across the eye. They also would give the MUA discretion on placement to work with the lashes you have remaining. Definitely do a trial run.

But let's say none of the lash strategies work, all of them irritate you and you can't bear them. Maybe focus instead on camouflaging? The right eyeliner (such as a nice crisp cat-eye) and/or a smoky eye could help to downplay your natural lashes and disguise sparser areas.

As for the brows, those are easy. My brows are sparse from psoriasis (the plaques make my eyebrow hairs fall out) and I fill them in with a brow pomade from Anastasia Beverly Hills. Nowadays, pretty much everyone fills in their brows with makeup!

Another possibility is microblading, which is basically semi-permanent tattooing that is done in tiny strokes similar to hairs. Again, you should give this a trial run first to make sure it works for you/you like the look well before your wedding day.

My only other thought is, is there another thing you might be able to distract yourself with that day? Or something you can use to divert your compulsion? For example, would wearing a pretty pair of gloves possibly keep you from picking? (A nice pair of vintage cotton wrist gloves would make it hard to pick at your fingers, and also make it hard to grab at your lashes, which would likely just slip through. You could take them off for short periods like during the ceremony, and some of your pictures, but then have them on during the reception.) It's just a thought, no harm meant - I know it is a difficult thing to overcome. I plucked out all of my eyelashes when I was a young girl due to anxiety.

My FH has dermatillomania so I completely understand that saying "just stop" is NEVER going to help. He is also incredibly self conscious about it. Just wanted to say you are not alone.



As for makeup, eyeliner can do a lot to help frame and highlight your eyes on its own. Liquid liner can get a very thin accurate lines so perhaps you can try experimenting with that. For lashes, there are specific false lashes designed for people with little or no existing eyelashes for the falsies to attach to. Some of the products you might use were designed and are marketed towards people undergoing chemotherapy since that can also cause eyelash and eyebrow loss. Perhaps worth looking into.

Hope that helps some. Best of luck!

I had a student with the same conditions- also due to childhood trauma. The headmaster suggested having something else for her to pick at, which worked alright. We had a little piece of cardboard or foam in her pocket that she could scratch and even pull out to look at. My mom (who has a form of dermatillomania) found scratching at something else did not work, but squeezing something did sometimes. She tried putting bandaides over the really bad spots, but she just picked around them and made it worse. However, she found using antibacterial soap helped clear the skin, and then she didn't want to pick at it as much. But she's still has some spots she just picks.

I hope that might help. Best of luck to you!

Hi, you mentioned that you are in therapy; have you ever tried hypnotherapy? I have used it myself and saw very encouraging results within the first 10 days of the first session. A licensed hypnotherapist can help determine how many sessions you would need. It really helped ease my issue which was also due to childhood trauma involving a medical situation.

Hi I used to suffer from trichotillomania from when I was a kid and while I have it controlled it's not easy so I understand where your coming from, the best thing to do is keep your hands busy they might grow in time for your wedding , false lashes can go on even the shortest of eye lashes your not alone I'd be happy to help you if needed

ashley

I have trich and have for about 20 years! I have permanent bald spots in my eyebrows and my eyelashes are very thin. I would definitely try a makeup trial or two. When I interviewed makeup artists I asked specifically how they would handle someone with trich who may be missing part or all of eyebrows/eyelashes day of. I tried fake eyelashes at my trial & she also colored in my brows.

Outside of that, I've bought an eyebrow serum, which is helping me (I have no idea if it's helping my eyebrows grow, but it's motivating me to not pull). However, massaging your eyebrows twice a day may be super triggering so I wouldn't suggest that if so. I'm finding that knowing that I have my wedding coming up is helping. But I'm also trying to give myself a lot of grace if I pull--if I end up with no eyelashes or eyebrows day of, I'm determined to be okay with that. My MIL just broke her arm--I'm treating it in a similar fashion!

So far everyone has given great suggestions. Not sure if anyone suggested microblading your eyebrows. They will look more natural than just getting them tattooed. Also, you can try fake eyelashes that use magnetic liner (i.e. Moxie Lash, etc.). So if you have the urge to pull at them, they can go right back on!

Wedding planning can be stressful, so I'm not familiar with your condition to know if stress makes it worse. If so, you might want to try some alternative therapies, like acupuncture. I hear great things about it and am currently looking into it myself! I hope one of our suggestions works for you.