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Just Said Yes October 2020

Travel for wedding in time of Covid-19

Jennifer, on June 16, 2020 at 9:09 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9

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My fiance's cousin is getting married 2 weeks before we are. In normal times this would obviously be fine, but with current circumstances I'm getting nervous about it.

We live in different states and the trip will require air travel, a several hour long car ride, and sharing a house with other extended family members. If it wasn't so close to my own wedding, I'd accept the risk and go without hesitation. However, I just don't want to be quarantined from my family (and elderly grandma) for the two weeks immediately prior to my wedding. And heaven forbid one of us get sick after the trip... we'd have to call everything off. If someone else at our cousin's wedding were to get sick after, I'd have to quarantine for 2 weeks out of precaution and possibly even cancel, even if I didn't show symptoms.
My fiance is hurt that I don't "want" to go to the wedding, and thinks that following my logic, neither he or anyone in his immediate family should go, either. His cousin has already expressed willingness to come to ours, and it's not fair to ask her to come here if we're not willing to reciprocate.
I don't want to tell anyone they can't go and celebrate with their cousin. But I am worried. I realize we could get sick even if we stay home, but the extra risk of traveling to a multi-day party with lots of other people is more than I'm personally comfortable with.
Am I being unreasonable?

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9 Comments

Latest activity by Kimberly, on June 19, 2020 at 1:47 PM

Master November 2020
Kristen · on June 16, 2020 at 9:20 PM
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Not at all. I told my MOH who is also a mother of two kids that if things are not better in November by her wedding even though we would be well under 10 people including photographers and officiant that she and her husband can wear a mask as these are dangerous times. I feel some people take this serious and some don't. I am one of two people that wears a mask to the gym lol. I would say there is nothing wrong if you do not go but if he wants to for family then I would let him. Maybe make a deal that if you both go you wear masks and have pocket sanitizer and keep distance.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on June 16, 2020 at 9:41 PM
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I don’t think you’re being unreasonable at all! Everyone has a different propensity for comfort level during this pandemic and what you said makes a lot of sense.
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Champion June 2019
Gen · on June 16, 2020 at 10:51 PM
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You are not at all unreasonable. It’s different because your OWN wedding is 2 weeks later. It makes sense that your cousin would be willing to take the risk for your wedding, because hers will be over by then! It’s not just that you don’t feel comfortable taking the risk, it’s that you don’t feel comfortable taking the risk because theoretically if you did get exposed it would ruin your own wedding.
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Super October 2020
Leslie · on June 16, 2020 at 11:52 PM
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I would go depending on the state and not share a room with anyone. Wear a mask around everyone.
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Super June 2020
Renee · on June 17, 2020 at 1:28 AM
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No, you are not being unreasonable. I would go depending on the state, wear a mask at all times, only come out for the wedding and leave immediately after.
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VIP October 2020
Samantha · on June 17, 2020 at 1:18 PM
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You are not being remotely unreasonable. Your family can go if they are comfortable traveling, but that does not obligate you to expose yourself to a greater risk than you are comfortable with. The fact that the cousin would be willing to do it for your wedding is irrelevant. You can still send a gift and your best wishes but you don't have to expose yourself to satisfy anybody else.
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VIP March 2015
Nefetera · on June 18, 2020 at 7:31 AM
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Not at all. You do what makes you comfortably during these times it risky...
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WeddingWire Administrator October 2016
Lynnie · on June 19, 2020 at 1:31 PM
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I totally agree with Gen here! It would even be a different story if you were attending another wedding two weeks later (that could feel more like choosing between two weddings) - but it's your wedding. And if you get sick with Covid-19 then the entire wedding is cancelled for everyone!
I think it's totally justified to take extra heightened precautions the two weeks before your wedding, and hopefully an honest and heartfelt conversation with everyone will lead to more understanding! ❤️
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Super March 2021
Kimberly · on June 19, 2020 at 1:47 PM
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You are not being unreasonable at all! You are absolutely justified in your argument of not going to cousin’s wedding. It isn’t that you don’t want to go, it’s that you’ve planned your own wedding for months and it could all come to a sudden cancellation in the matter of days. Yes you could still be exposed at home and it could result in the same, however by traveling to this wedding your exposure increases exponentially. I wouldn’t take the risk. I think an honest and very apologetic conversation with cousin is in order though. Make sure she knows that it isn’t because you don’t want to come, but rather that you can’t take the risk just two weeks before your own wedding.
Honestly your FH isn’t wrong about his immediate family either. They really shouldn’t, but that’s a decision they need to make for themselves.
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