Savvy May 2020

Traumatic Experiences before Wedding

Krista, on July 24, 2019 at 1:38 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 8
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Hi everyone,

I have just been having unusual amount of traumatic experiences before wedding. Maybe I am cursed, I mean my mom passed away last year, and then this year in April, I got proposed and then I started planning my wedding a few months ago. I just got fired from my job today for no reason (wrongful dismissal) and it's just a lot to take in. On top of that, my family is going through some heavy lawyer stuff with inheritance mother left me with, which is too much for me to handle altogether. Not to mention the trauma last year from losing her.

I mean, I don't think anyone is going through similar experiences as me but any tips for how to overcome this? I know I have to get over this by myself but any helpful tips are much appreciated as this has almost got me thinking wedding planning is just another "thing" I have to work on amongst all other things... And I am just exhausted from everything and all.


  • Elizabeth
    Expert September 2019
    Elizabeth ·

    Sorry you're going thru so much right now. Talk to your fiance, a close friend/confidant, even if to get everything off your chest so that they know what you're facing so that they support you in the best way that they can. Maybe they'll know of resources or a support system. What about other brides on weeing wire in your area that you could maybe meet up with for support?

  • Futuremrsk
    VIP August 2019
    Futuremrsk ·
    I'm so sorry about your mom and everything you're going through. I would talk with your FH about what's going on. Reach out to a close friend to vent. Also, dont be afraid to out wedding planning on hold for a little while. If I was going through what you were right now, I'd try to focus on getting through the lawyer stuff, finding a new job and getting to a point where I felt more in control before moving forward with the wedding plans. Good luck, I hope things calm down for you soon!
  • Misstomorris
    Dedicated August 2019
    Misstomorris ·
    I am going through something similar. Get yourself into therapy.
  • WWModTeam
    WeddingWire Administrator December 2016
    WWModTeam ·

    Krista, I hope you have had support for your situation. If you think you’d like to talk to someone about your experience please consider checking out Mental Health America’s website of resources, they can help you find a health care provider in your area -

  • Nikita
    VIP April 2019
    Nikita ·

    My condolences.

    I concur with PP, specifically I suggest going through grief therapy if at all possible. You can also look at other grief support forums/chat services online. I used a mental health support chat room several years ago when I realized some things were creeping back up for me.

    Also, rely on your support network, but let them know your boundaries. Grief is such a personalized thing, and make sure people know what you need as well as where you're at. Let them know if you need to be by yourself - or you need someone there, but not talking, Keep them informed if you need them to vent, or you need a distraction. No one will be able to guess your needs, you need to make them known. You can even say, "I don't know what I need, but I need help."

    In regards to the wedding, if it becomes too much for you, you can consider getting an elopement and holding the larger ceremony later on. You certainly don't need to do this, but if you feel like wedding planning is too much for you, everyone should understand.

    Also remember that we are a resource for you when you need us.

  • S
    Dedicated August 2019
    Susan ·

    Sounds like you've had a really tough year. I wonder if incorporating your mother in some way to the wedding may help with the process. I have also had a tough year where it feels like one thing after another thing. I have been looking at my wedding as a reprieve from all of this. A celebration of the good that continues to remain in my life. I think you'd be surprised by how many people can relate to your experience.

  • Misty
    Super October 2019
    Misty ·
    Girl. You would be surprised. This is super unfortunate but also super typical. I had a similar self reflection moment like "wtfffff?! Am I cursed?!"

    I got bad prognosis from doctor. Surgery scheduled for aug 8. Wedding is oct 4. Recovery is 6 weeks.... what?!

    Then my car was parked on a SLIGHT incline, e brake went out, it rolled down a hill... completely destroyed my back end. Car still in shop over a month now.

    Then.... my 9yr old dog, the absolute love of my life. Was just diagnosed with stage 3 lymphoma. With weeks left to live.... devastated.

    On top of which, fiance and I are saving up to start our own business venture and pay for this wedding 100%, it feels like the universe is saying nooooo.

    But then I run into a couple who are getting married this weekend.... car accident, rental house debacle ... job loss

    And another couple....

    It somewhat seems to me the more I hear and read.... life keeps going on with or without a wedding to plan and tons of changes happen.... I suppose it is great training on how you handle stress and disappointment as a couple....

    It super sucks that real life lows are getting in the way of enjoying the wedding process..... I'm so sorry to hear about the load you are carrying... but we are only given what we can handle.... and you got this girl!

    Focus in on each other. And solve these problems as a team.... you'll get to that wedding day like the Ateam!
  • Cassi
    Super October 2019
    Cassi ·

    Not the same but my sister committed suicide in January. My family has been an emotional wreck pretty much ever since. My wedding is now 80 days away and while everything has started coming together it took time and their is still hard times. You need to lean on your FH and family in times like this for support. I understand its a lot to all deal with but it comes down to Are you emotionally/mentally able to add this wedding onto everything else? If not it may need to be pushed back a little. If it is then lean hard on your support system they will help you through it. Try accomplishing little things here and there. maybe instead of looking at every vendor do it one at a time... like one a week, pretty much anything like that. Sorry you have to deal with this. big hugs from FL.. it sucks losing loved ones I know.

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