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Devoted September 2022

Transportation from ceremony to reception for significant others

Carissa, on May 23, 2021 at 4:02 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 17
Does the wedding party transportation from the ceremony to the reception have to include the SO's of the bridesmaids/groomsmen? The DJ we are hoping to book also offers transportation at a great price, but there wouldn't be enough space for us, the whole WP, a photographer and videographer, AND all the SO's. Is it bad etiquette to not include them? We'll just be going for photos and maybe one stop at a bar.

17 Comments

Latest activity by Judith, on May 26, 2021 at 3:45 PM
  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    Significant others should ride with them.

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  • J
    Judith ·
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    SO should ride with them. Did I understand correctly, that the wedding party and you the hosts are thinking of leaving your guests alone not only for some pictures, but for a stop at a bar?
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  • C
    Devoted September 2022
    Carissa ·
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    Yeah, this is the norm in our area! Most of the time the WP bus stops at multiple bars, actually. It gives the guests time to travel to the reception venue and have a cocktail hour.
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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    The guests should not be on their own longer than it takes to drive to the reception. Just because something is popular doesn’t make it polite. If you want to bar hop, schedule that for another time that is not an inconvenience for guests, such as after the reception.

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  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
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    First, the SO’s should absolutely ride with their dates so I would find a larger vehicle. And secondly, are you not taking photos after the ceremony? If you’re doing photos after the ceremony, I agree that your guests shouldn’t be alone for more than an hour to an hour and 20 minutes.. If you can do all the photos and bar hop in that amount of time, then okay. But don’t forget you’re hosting an event so after 60-80 minutes, you and your husband should make an entrance and feed your guests.
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  • Lisa
    Super October 2021
    Lisa ·
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    My fiancé was in a wedding and I wasn’t; I had to find my own transportation to the wedding ceremony and ceremony to reception. He went in the bus with the bridal party. It sucked because I spent most of the day alone. If you can accommodate their dates, it would like be appreciated.
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  • C
    Devoted September 2022
    Carissa ·
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    Lol its so interesting how different weddings are regionally! I am not concerned with the guests having time between the ceremony and reception. That wasn't the question my posting was looking to answer 🙂 Every single wedding I've been to has been the same way, and I never once felt slighted as a guest. But thank you for the opinion.
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  • C
    Devoted September 2022
    Carissa ·
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    It would be about an hour, give or take! Driving from ceremony venue to where the photos would be taken (10 min drive) then taking some WP photos, then stopping at the bar on the way to the reception hall!
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  • C
    Devoted September 2022
    Carissa ·
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    Thanks for the input! I've never been in that position so I wasn't thinking of how it felt being the partner left out, good point! 🙂
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  • M
    Super June 2021
    Melanie ·
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    Every wedding I've been to the WP goes off to take pictures while their SO's take ubers or find their own way to the reception, so while it would be nice for you to provide transportation for everyone, I don't see a problem if you don't. But with that said, I think going to take pictures vs going to a bar makes the situation different and as a SO I'd feel a bit slighted that I wasn't included
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  • Catherine
    Expert March 2023
    Catherine ·
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    I say go for it. Make sure you plan enough time to get the pictures you want though. It’s hard to get photos done in 40 minutes.
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  • E
    Super July 2023
    Eniale ·
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    I don't know what is proper, but I can tell you from my end:

    I was a bridesmaid after I was married, and my husband was on his own the entire night. I rode in the limo for the WP from the ceremony to the reception and he was not included (we were also seated separately at dinner because I was at the head table).

    It sucked, and years later, every time I think about it, I think "that was a really sh%$ty thing for her to do to me." While I dropped over a grand on a dress, shoes, hair/makeup, and a wedding gift to celebrate her and her husband, she couldn't even dignify my husband with a seat in the limo that she was requiring me to ride in?

    Just an opinion from the other side. While there probably isn't any etiquette or rule stating how SOs of wedding parties should be treated, and most will likely say it's fine, it's worth it to consider how your WP feels about it. And maybe you should ask them. They may not care at all.

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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Agree, I've been in this position and it's the worst. If the wedding party brings dates, they have to be included and not split up the entire time. It's just rude
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  • Elizabeth
    Super June 2021
    Elizabeth ·
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    Photos at the weddings I've been to take hours. How long are you planning to take pictures for before the bar?
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2022
    Samantha ·
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    Normally I would say that they can make their own way to the reception while the WP finishes up with photos. But stopping at a bar along the way throws a wrench in it for me. Since this is a common practice in your area, how do other locals handle it?
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  • Cheyanne
    Just Said Yes July 2021
    Cheyanne ·
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    The stop at the bar is pretty common in my areas as well! My twin sister got married in 2018, and we took a bus after the ceremony to take photos and stop to get a few cute photos are the bar in our hometown. It was not for more than an hour (about the time a cocktail hour would take) and we came back and immediately entered the reception. None of our dates were on the bus. However, I will specify the ceremony and reception were held at the same place. The dates (our husbands/boyfriends) also knew each other and felt comfortable at the cocktail hour. I think it would be fine to not include them if they were all comfortable with one another or knew someone else at the reception area/cocktail hour. If you could accommodate, I think they would enjoy being with their dates, though.

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  • J
    Judith ·
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    Given that people may have babysitters ( or parent sitters) running at $20 an hour, as well as general expenses, why is it necessary to go to a bar insteàd of going to your own wedding cocktails? People understand 30-40 min of pictures, but going to a bar and avoiding your own guests is the worst. If you were going directly for a 10 minute drive, it would not much matter whether SO travel with you or not, because you would all be at the cocktail hour, most of it.
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